The other morning I was walking along with my dogs when Dexter came over for a friendly lean against my leg and a pat on the noggin. Then he spied Piper going by with a frisbee in her teeth and he got all intense and stare-y and I heard myself say “Day-um, you’re a good lookin’ dog, yessir,” in much the same way I might say “Day-um, Alcide looks good with his shirt off, mmmhmmm,” while watching True Blood or similar. Then I thought “Man, if you were a dude, you’d be like the hottest dude of them all.”
And he would, you know. Dexter would be named, like, Chad or something. He’d be the guy that *all* the girls, hands down, would have a crush on. He’d probably play a sport or something, like on an ice hockey team of other cool guys, mostly made up of local semi-famous musicians and radio celebrities, or rock climbing. He’d have a good job that paid pretty well, and he would have really modern furniture and know all the cool bands, but he totally wouldn’t be a hipster. He’d be super normal, and could cook decently too.
Mr. Woo, on the other hand, would be that guy that everyone likes and NOBODY has a crush on. He’d so be that guy that all the gals think is “just so awesome” but not in a hot-guy kinda way (probably because he’s short). In fact, pretty much everyone would like him, but nobody would really know anything about him. He’d be super intellectual but not nerdy, and could drop these esoteric facts about stuff nobody else know, and all his friends would love it, cuz he’d be just so quirky.
And that’s probably because he lives with his brother, who is like a socially autistic version of him. A little guy who’s not quite as smart as Woo is, and has a bit of a chip on his shoulder. People would be polite to him because he’s Woo’s brother, but behind his back they’d be all “that guy is so weird, man.” He’d some weird hobbies, like archery, and if you pissed him off, he’d be super Rage Guy, getting really mad really fast. And then he’d go off in a huff.
Piper’d be that girl that all the guys kinda like, but aren’t really sure why, because she’s hot, but totally intimidates them, and all the other girls are like “she is such a bitch” behind her back. But they’d all try really hard to be her friend, because they’d be intimidated by her too. She wouldn’t be that smart, but she’d really manipulative, and she would have this social circle of people she bossed around all the time.
I’m not the only person who does this kind of thing, am I?? Hello?? Friends and fans? Anyone?
And it’s not just me. People I meet up with who haven’t seen him in a while say things like “Holy cow, did he ever turn out nice!!” and “Wow, he is so handsome!” Because he is! And he is a NICE dog too, now that he’s gotten over his underpants fetish, and attitude with other puppies/dogs. He loves absolutely all people he meets, and he is always checking in with me for a smile or, if he is feeling particularly affectionate, a hug.
But it’s also 100 kinds of awesome. He’s the only one of my dogs who makes me feel like when he comes for some affection, he’s doing it because he wants to share some love, not because he just wants his butt scratched (Tweed) or to get my attention so I will throw something (Piper) or because he believes I owe it to him (The WooTWoo). He just seems to like hanging out with me.
This more than makes up for the few months back there were I think I may have actually hated him for a while.
And because I haven’t posted a TWoo update recently,I would just like to say that I still love the little bugger, even if he is BAD, VERY BAD! As his confidence continues to rise on the scale of Normal Dogdom, he has taken to bossing me around some. It must be the Aussie influence; when TWoo wants something from me these days, he BARKSBARKSBARKS at me. If he thinks he needs another walk, he paws at me and if I ignore him, he BARKS. If I am practicing self control exercises at the door where everyone must sit stay until I say their name and let them out the door, he BARKS. When I tell him to shut up, he BARKS back at me. TWooie says he has almost 5 years of silent cowering to make up for, and he says that LOUDLY by BARKING at me. When he’s not totally ignoring me.
He’s still a buttface with other dogs too. Today he decided to beat up Lola. Lola is this little teeny border collie / cattle dog mix that is up for adoption through TDBCR.
Her foster mum brought her over today so we could get some photos for the website. She’s really cute! Totally full of energy too, someone is going to really get a fantastic dog in this one.
I offered to trade foster dogs with Lola’s foster mum, but she said no. I can’t imagine why, unless it has something to do with the fact that West bit her :(
He is so afraid, it makes me feel very badly for him. Foster home was kneeling down petting Wootie, with her back to West, and paying no attention to him at all. He had just successfully sniffed her and went in for what I thought was another sniff and bit her in the arm – he only got her shirt, but it was no accident. He then peed himself right then and there, because the whole thing freaked him out so badly. Freaked me out too. Because no matter how badly I feel for him, he can’t do this – biting people is bad news, mostly for him.
The only thing I can think to try for him is to put him on an anti-anxiety / anti-depressant and see if I can’t bring his anxiety down a few notches, enough to start reintroducing him to the world without being so petrified of everything. But I can’t tell you how much I wish we could try this experiment in someone else’s home. I know that my house is too chaotic for him – although he sucks up to me something fierce, and no longer falls asleep standing up because he’s too afraid to lie down, he still bolts from the room when I stand up and if his crate door isn’t open he panics and sometimes pees himself.
It makes me mad.