This one’s for Jack and Shirley

Young lovers who so boldly deface innocent logs as a worldly declaration of their mutual affections.
— Spanish Banks Extension, August 2007

Do you ever wonder what your dogs are thinking? I do. And because I own them, and I own the camera, and I own this blog, I can assign them any thoughts I like. It makes me feel powerful.

For example … Red Dog is thinking:

“Yay! I’m dry!”

Now he’s thinking:

“Boo. I’m undry.”
———————————————-

Tweed’s train of thought goes something like this:

“Ball! Hi! The ball? Hi hi hi! Ball? Can I have the ball? Hello-hi – ball?”

And then:

“Go. Go. Gogogo. Move. Go ball. Go.”

And then:

“Mum. Ball no go. Make ball go?”

———————————————

Mad Teeth ™ always sound pretty well exactly the same:

“Get off me.”

“Seriously. Get off!”

“I’m not f*cking around Woo, GET OFF!”

“GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!”

“Oh crap, now there’s two of them?”
——————————————————————-

No thought at all:
——————————————————————-

Of course, I also own kittenz, and I think they have just one thought:

“__(insert item here) __ must die.”

Examples:

Angry Donut: “Human holding me in the air for photo op must die.”

Round Eye: “Ditto. Totally has to die.”

Angry Donut: “Fuzz ball on string … must die.”

“Must die! Must die!”

Round Eye: “I’m with you, kid. It’s gotta die.”

“And human. Human totally must die.”
Angry Donut: “Die human. Die!”

Two kittens agree: “Whatever it is, it must die.”

I’m afraid to go to sleep at night.

So is Woo:

Woo? Woohoo!
Oops. I forgot one:

Round Eye says “Take a photo of me doing this, and you must die.”