But how? How can he coax his dinner down from its natural habitat (the Gazebo framework of a West End Penthouse)?
First, he will try something unique to the Woo species; he will attempt to startle the squirrel into falling from its perch by “barkscreaming” ™ at it … frightening it, the camerawoman and many neighbors for blocks in every direction.
When this fails to to the trick, he then resorts to physical activity – a very rare capture in this species, ladies and gentlemen – and will leap vertically into the air repeatedly. In some species, this is known as “boinging.”
Once successfully shaken (never stirred) the squirrel’s head or face is then blissfully chewed into fabric bits. This is known as “going to his happy place” and is only seen when new squirrels have been freshly purchased from Target (alas, it does not seem that we will be making any trips to Target in the near future!). And it must take place in a deck chair.
The Wootie is a prideful animal – one might, without seeming ridiculous, go so far as to call him “boastful.” This can lead to unfortunate interpack rivalries, where The Wootie’s insolence can turn to loss at any moment. For while The Woo is showing off his prize, he is not being mindful of the envy he is instilling in Piper.
Piper has been waiting for this moment.
Tonight Mr. Sport ate about a cup of kibble off the floor, provided I did not look at him. I had to stand with my back to him and look at the ceiling and pretend I did not see him eating. Another quirk in the Sporty Arsenal of Old Dog Quirks!