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Sheer Heart Attack

April 5, 2010 By The Food Lady 28 Comments

Why?  WHY does Wootie hate me so?  Why is he trying to make me drop dead in terror?
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This, my friends, is Wootie chasing a coyote this afternoon at the dykes in Maple Ridge.

You will all please keep in mind that this was shot with a telephoto lens and is heavily cropped.  What I really saw was more like this – but STILL shot through a telephoto lens, so imagine it even freakin’ further away.
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Lord have mercy on my now sold-to-the-devil soul.

Why was Food Lady taking photos of it instead of trying to catch him, you ask?  Well – YOU try to catch a Wootie on the move, who is a whole football field away.  All the screaming in the world did not stop him from sprinting after it as soon as he saw it, and by this point, I don’t think he could even hear me anyway.  The only thing I could do was stand there and pray to doG that the coyote didn’t glance back and realize Wootie was half his size, and decide to make him a snackable.

We tried to send the biggest dog in the bunch out to save Woo, but Tucker’s no fool.

Nuh-uh, I ain’t runnin’ after no stinkin’ ky-ote!
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And the one dog who can generally be counted on to run after strange canines with all his teeth showing?  Was he any help? Yeahno.
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Hate!  HATE HATE HATE!!  BAD WOO!
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What’s your problem?  I came back, didn’t I?
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There’s only ONE way to punish a dog this rotten.
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hahahahahahaha! And, you know, since we already had the bunny ears out ….

Happyplacehappyplacehappyplace
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Why am I being punished?  Why?  I didn’t chase any coyotes!
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Why’d you spring me from the shelter just to send me straight to Hell?
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Predictably, TWooie was a buttface on our walk, so he spent much of it on leash.  He made several credible attempts to bite both Tucker and Nyxie, but wisely steered clear of the Blind Landshark.

I can’t see him, but I can still fit him in my mouth.
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I may be a jerk, but I’m not STUPID.  You’re stupid.
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However, back at Jenn’s house, TWooie was remarkably content to let Nyxie and Dexter wrestle (which they did, for about 4 straight hours) without being inclined to interfere or boss anyone around.  As a reward, he was allowed to be in the Bunny Ears Family photo.

Yeah. Super. Thanks.
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(As an aside, if you have a friend who doesn’t bat an eyelash when Dexter and Wootie get up on their kitchen table, consider yourself blessed.)

Maybe next time you’ll go save a little brutha in need, Tucker!!

I’m so ashamed.
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Happy Easter :)
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Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Dexter, dogs in hats, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed, TWooie, wildlife

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Michelle says

    April 5, 2010 at 10:25 pm

    Oh my, it looks like Woo was GAINING on the coyote!

  2. Jolene says

    April 5, 2010 at 10:32 pm

    lucky dog!
    I have heard of coyote’s luring dogs toward the rest of a pack so they all gang up on him!
    close call for sure!, love the bunny ears LOL!

  3. Claudia says

    April 5, 2010 at 11:15 pm

    OH.My.doG. The bunny ears are HILARIOUS! And I love Piper’s soulful little eyes. Not often we get to see that side of the Lil’ princess. As for Mr Coyote-Woo, don’t worry. He will live to 43, coyote or not.

  4. mcappy says

    April 5, 2010 at 11:27 pm

    AWESOME finally someone else who grabs a camera first when their dog is on the dining room table!!

  5. Fi says

    April 6, 2010 at 1:51 am

    Oh, the pathos of those bunny-ear expressions!

    Having watched Barney face down a badger more than once, I feel your coyote-pain…

  6. julie says

    April 6, 2010 at 3:30 am

    Hey, Woo was only trying to get rid of some fat. ;)
    No seriously, my heart would probably have stopped beating on the spot! Pour FL, and bad bad bad (fat) Woo!
    Awesome pics again!

  7. Taryn says

    April 6, 2010 at 4:28 am

    There sure was a whole lot of bunny ear embarrassment going on!

    As to the coyote, that must have been scary! We don’t have coyotes (yet!) in my immediate area, but a good many foxes. And while they don’t pose the same threat, my dogs are GONE at just the whiff of a fox. I can call them off deer usually, but a fox, no way, it just drives them insane! It must be some sort of canine territorial thing. It can ruin an otherwise pleasant off leash walk.

  8. Karen Crook says

    April 6, 2010 at 6:17 am

    Oh, my heart stopped just looking at the photos. I can’t imagine that scare. I’m glad Woo is OK and will live to 43. What does that mean Claudia?
    Loved the Bunny photos. I have been known to have dogs on my kitchen table or anywhere else they would like to be too. Is there something wrong with that? ;-)
    I would love a photo tip entry on how to photograph dog bunnies with backlight. Great photos as usual.

  9. Life in Vet School says

    April 6, 2010 at 6:26 am

    LOVE the bunny ears! I like how one of them is serving as in impromptu eye patch for Wootie in the family portrait. :) And I swear Dexter gets bigger every single time I see him — the other day he was towering over Piper, and now I see he’s bigger than Woo! I know you always say Woo isn’t that big, but I guess the grand, sweeping majesty of his personality makes him seem larger than life. :) So I’m always surprised by how little he is when I see him right next to the other dogs!

  10. Cathy, Che and Jeepers says

    April 6, 2010 at 7:17 am

    *Oh my.* I am glad Mr. coyote didn’t have his little friends waiting in the wings. My BC pretends that the coyotes aren’t there, nana nana nana, even when the coyote is barking and charging.
    Call-offs are, at best, tricky when a dog gets in chase mode and is so far away.
    Maybe Wootie is a good candidate for some skilled ELECTRIC SHOCK therapy.

  11. Abbie says

    April 6, 2010 at 7:56 am

    The Blind Landshark? Please tell me you buried your face in that neck! He (or she) is so goshdarned beautiful it has seriously made my morning to just gaze upon the fluffy goodness of that dog.

    If you had put that dog in bunny ears, I might have just melted into a puddle of AWWWW.

  12. Laura L says

    April 6, 2010 at 8:25 am

    If it makes you feel any better-Twinkie (my black & white version of Woo) also has chased coyotes. Three times. Nothing has happened yet. It’s always been a single coyote and I think it was probably freaked out to have a smallish black & white dog run after it barking.

    Love all the bunny ears.

  13. Anda says

    April 6, 2010 at 9:41 am

    OMG Woo, are you nuts?! Woonuts, that should be your name! He’s got plenty of cojones to chase a coyote, especially for a dog who doesn’t have his nuts anymore! Glad he’s ok, I’ve seen too many cat skuls perfectly cleaned up by coyotes in one night on the field where I’m playing with my dog, and plenty of coyotes running in front of our home and singing all night long. I’d be mortified if Ouzo would chase after one.

    Woo – bad boy – no coyotes for you! But so glad you managed to scare that scruffy wild canine enough so he won’t look back at the orange fur ball chasing him!

    LOL at Twooie and his insatiable appetite for dogs rumps ;) At least he knew not to mess with the beautiful Landshark!

  14. Carol says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:33 am

    Bad Wootie!!!!!! FL brings your brother home, and this is the thanks she gets? And Poor Piper! Such pathos!

    That Nyxie is just totally photogenic. What a beauty! Dex has good taste in girlfriends…

  15. Deb says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:37 am

    Oh my!! I would freak out too if either of my dogs started chasing a coyote. And if it turned around they would probably freak out too and run back to Mama as fast as they could! Glad no one was injured. Too bad Twooie didn’t use those steel trap jaws for good (chasing the Coyote) instead of evil (chasing his “friends”). I’m hoping he realizes what a good thing he has with The Food Lady and friends so you can keep him. I love seeing Twooie and Woo together. :-)

  16. kristy says

    April 6, 2010 at 11:38 am

    We have the coyotes here as well….we try to stay away from them but they are sneaky little devils that pop up when you least expect them!
    Since it is the start of the month, made my wootube donation this morning! Not a whole lot but hope it helps!
    kristy

  17. Mindy says

    April 6, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    I had myself a bad wootie, only mine’s name was Gus. When he would take off on his escapades, the only thing that would make him come when I called was if I called him a different name… preferably, Hercules or The Hulk, or Batman… something manly. He would instantly leave off chasing the red fox across the interstate and come back to sit calmly at my feet.

  18. suzanne says

    April 6, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    My blood pressure would have gone up to about a million on that one.
    perhaps it is time to entertain the idea of becoming as proficient with a 22 as you are with a telephoto?

  19. The Food Lady says

    April 6, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    “perhaps it is time to entertain the idea of becoming as proficient with a 22 as you are with a telephoto?”

    To shoot Wootie with when he’s being a turd you mean? ;-) I’ve thought about it, believe me!!

    I don’t want to shoot a poor coyote – the little dude was just trying to get by, and turned and left when he saw us. Not his fault Wootie ran down a hill, leapt over a huge ditch and was off in hot pursuit! He was just minding his own business.

    What was interesting was how the coyote never actually really RAN – I am sure a coyote could outrun Woo (although he is VERY fast when he’s chasing something) if it wanted to, but it kind of kept sauntering along just quickly enough to avoid Woo, as if it were pretending it was totally not scared. And more interesting, once Woo caught up with it enough to touch its tail with his nose, he then immediately turned around and came back. The coyote never once looked back at him.

  20. Christine Hibbard says

    April 6, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    Uh, I hate to bring up previous posts but didn’t Woo read the “kick you till you’re dead” post?! Geez, taking years off of our lives seems to have become a habit for Mr. Woo.

    The only thing I didn’t love about those bunny ear shots was that I didn’t think of it for my boys… hmm, me thinks I’m going to gather up outfits and set up a shoot with you and my fur kids. Yes!

  21. Paula says

    April 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Woo is BAD, BAD, BAD. But bunny ears on the dining room table? That’s all GOOD.

  22. suzanne says

    April 6, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    There is some kind of “ammunition” you can get now which is non-lethal… it’s compressed cork, or some such thing. cops in some areas are using it… it will knock you off your feet but it doesn’t actually enter your body or draw blood etc… the coyote might have moved with a bit more speed if you had popped him on the butt with one of those. then again, Woo might have turned himself around if you delivered one of those in the direction of his speedy little ass!

  23. jen says

    April 6, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    Fabulous pics!!! I love the table one! Poor TWooie looks overwhelmed/outraged by it all. He totally cracks me up.
    Silly, silly Woo!!! That was so freakin scary. I couldn’t believe how fast his little legs could go. And really, there was no getting over that ditch and the fence to run him down either.
    It is funny how the coyote stays right in front of them – did just the same with Nyx too, though admittedly she simply loped after it and didn’t sprint like the wind like Woo. Rather reassuring actually that it shows such little interest in them.
    ANY TIME your dogs wanna climb on my table, they are welcome to it! They are so well behaved – they didn’t even leave gouges (unlike some blind malamutes I could name). And it’s the most tired Nyx has ever been. She so loves her Dexter! But I mean really, who doesn’t???
    Everyone was exhausted – Tucker mainly from shame. He was very sad about not understanding that “out” and “go” meant he was to go further than four feet away from me. And the Blind Landshark (aka Zara) was so tired and stuffed full of ‘be good and don’t eat Twooie’ treats that I managed to keep all my fingers at class later AND she listened.
    So seriously. Kitchen table. Anytime.

  24. cinnamondog says

    April 7, 2010 at 4:33 am

    Woo has an evil streak in him. That’s what causes him to turn off his conscience and his ears when he takes off on his jaunts and rambles. I picture Woo with the classic devil on one shoulder, angel on the other, but the devil is muscular and large and well-fed and the angel is kind of scrawny and puny and doesn’t get a word in edgewise sometimes. Woo and the devil laugh and joke around a lot, and the angel is not part of the crowd.

    If Twooie shares this, you might as well lay on a stock of ulcer meds — for you, not them — right now. :)

  25. mary says

    April 7, 2010 at 8:09 am

    I think Woo and Skittles were cut from the same mold – voted Most Likely To Do Something Stupid and Get Oneself Killed. But, it’ll be just my luck that Skittles will somehow survive and give me gray hairs for many years to come. Damn orange dogs.

  26. Sheri says

    April 7, 2010 at 4:01 pm

    Perhaps using a Wootie Catcher would work?? :) Love the bunny ear pictures, particularly Tweed — his expression is priceless!

  27. angie says

    April 7, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    omg WOO! i bet riley would chase down a coyote, but he’s a wiener dog = snack.

  28. AK Dog Doc says

    April 8, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    Ah, yes, the well-known Epinephrine-Induced Instant Deafness Syndrome (in which the victim – or in this case, Woo – goes immediately deaf the instant adrenaline hits the bloodstream.) My dogs have this all the time, but up here it’s usually caused by moose.

    So, are the bunny ears an attempt to restore his hearing? And did it work? I just need to know if I should recommend this to my clients!

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