You promised me this wouldn’t hurt anymore.
I know Tweed. I know. I guess I lied :(
You also promised me we’d have fun at the beach today. But all it did was rain, and all I did was limp.
This really sucks. Our cancellation date for Regionals is fast approaching, and I’ve pretty much lost all hope that Tweed will be competing this year, or in fact, ever again.
The prolotherapy was supposed to be the miracle cure for his persistent limp and pain. Instead, all it did was clean out my bank account, and make things worse. He’s in more pain now than he ever was before, and I’m not convinced that a secondary infection is the culprit here – the antibiotics have done nothing but take away some of the swelling and leave big red inflamed knots in the spots he was injected at. His limp appears to be chronic, and it comes and goes with varying degrees of intensity. Last week he actually played at agility class with no obvious signs of distress during or after. Then he might go for a half hour walk with us on the property and come back tripodding. I am ready to tear out my hair.
And the next person who tells me that I should ‘just be grateful he’s healing’ might get their hair torn out. The implication here is that a) Regionals don’t matter and b) that I care more about the sport than about my dog. I find both of these implications really offensive!! First of all, Tweed and I have worked damn hard for Regionals. I’ve been ridiculed, humiliated, insulted, threatened with poles and pushed very hard by the Sadist – all of which I am grateful for. It has made me a much better handler, and Tweed has always deserved a much better handler. For the first time since we started playing the sport, I had the confidence that we were going to play to win this year, not just play to squeak by on barely qualifying. That’s a lot of work down the drain, and an immense let down.
Secondly, Tweed is NOT healing, akshully. If he was healing, we wouldn’t even be seeing these blog posts about how sad I am that he might not get to play. If he were healing, he’d be healed by now! Of course I don’t care more about the sport than about my dog – how on earth could I do that? The sport *IS* my dog – the whole point of having this procedure done was so that he wouldn’t hurt when he tried to play agility. Realistically, I could have put him on a low dose of pain killer and a modified exercise program for the rest of his life and written it off as an old pet dog with feet problems, life goes on, whatever – but Tweed loves to play, and I love to play with him. I am mentally prepared to retire him when he’s too old to play, but he’s not old yet. He’s not ready to retire. When he played at class last week there was nothing but joy on his face. It was more blissful than The Rabbit Face that the WooTWoo gets even, and that’s saying something.
Lastly, I love any one of my dogs more than I love any sport. If I liked the sport more than I liked my dogs, I wouldn’t even have this:
Unless there is such a sport as Bunny Speed Eating, the WooTWoo is not going to win any titles any time soon, that’s for sure!
Are you saying I can’t eat bunnies anymore?
Not all, TWooie. In fact, since planting my vegetable garden, I have learned about myself that I am happiest when you are eating the bunnies that are trying to eat my garden. Saves me money on dog food too!
Phew. Cuz, umm, I was going to eat them anyway.
(That’s my boy! Subversive, disobedient and perpetually hungry)
Even the weather has been mopey and pouty this last while, much like me. It’s done nothing but rain, rain and rain some more, sometimes with some stormy winds thrown in for good measure. It’s partly why I’ve been MIA for a while – it’s not been nice enough outside to take photos. We braved the rain at the beach today, but I took only a few pictures because it was just too miserable to liberate my camera from inside my jacket.
And it turns out Mr. Woo is a bit of a diva when it comes to lousy weather. If it’s raining in the morning, he no longer wants to go outside to pee. He says he’d rather just hold it until the sun comes back.
He might be crossing his legs for a long time yet.
Sucks.
Of course, the weather is bound to improve pretty soon – I *always* get a sunburn at Regionals, without fail. A painful, make-me-cry sunburn. There have been years where it rained up to the day before, was brilliantly sunny and boiling hot for the entire event, and then started raining again literally as I was packing up my tent and such. So if history is anything to go by, the weather should clear up next week.
Just in time for me to cancel Tweed’s entry. *pout* I am not going to deny how bummed I am. Running Piper will be a poor consolation prize. I am very proud of how far she has come, but for all intents and purposes she is just a baby dog, and even if she manages to qualify, I’m not going to be taking her to Nationals as my sole dog. She’s just not good enough yet to make it worthwhile. And that’s the other let down – this is the first time in years that Nationals will be held within driving distance. It was like the universe was pulling it all together to be Tweed’s year to shine, and now at the last minute, it’s all unraveled in a spectacularly disappointing crash.
Yes, I do realize that this entry is one giant POOR ME. But indulge me, would you please? Don’t tell me that I should be grateful that my dog still has 4 legs, or doesn’t have cancer, or isn’t possessed by demons with plans to destroy all of the earth’s strawberries and chocolate as soon it chants itself into enough evil force. I am grateful for all of those things every day of my life. Right now, it’s just not enough to cheer me up.
Although now I do want chocolate.
That’s nice. I want you to throw this Wootie Toy™ for me, but I’m not seeing that happening either.
Phooey.
jackie says
Awww. I’m really sorry. What does the vet who suggested the procedure have to say?
Olga says
I’m really sorry for Tweed and I hope there is still some hope and there’s a come back at the last minute. Or at least that there is a come back.
Best of luck and lots of hugs and kissed for Tweed (you can spare some of it for the rest of the gang, but they’re not needing them so much right now) :)
Michelle says
Seeing as how my horse has refused to stay sound enough for two years now for us to do what we love to do, I can relate, sympathize, and eat chocolate in frustration with you. It sucks, it really does!
Adrienne says
Phooey! Phooey! Phooey! I’m really bummed for you. :-(
I really, really, really hope Tweed gets to play again, period. It would be the most awesome thing ever if he could play at Regionals.
I know what you mean. Playing agility makes Emma happier than anything else. We have worked through a lot of stuff to be able to play together. I’ve had people question why I ran trials with my dog when they stress her out. Well, she realy likes to play and is willing to work through it with me to do so.
I can’t imagine her being sidelined.
Sending lots of chocolately thoughts your way!
claire's mum says
sometimes life does just suck, and when the wind and rain are hovering over you (both literally and metaphorically) no amount of attempts at cheering you up or distracting you are gonna work…do what you gotta do to keep trudging along, knowing that you have companions (both two legged and four legged, beside you in puddles and in thought) who care very much about you, and Tweed, and Piper, and Dexter, and Woo, and Twoo, and Donut, too.
If I were there I would share the chocolate (and the biskits) in my raincoat pocket
Gillian says
That first picture/caption just about broke my heart.
For me, forget that agility makes the little princess happy. What matters is that it makes her TIRED! :)
CarolG. says
Sympathy to both of you. From everything you have written and shown photographically Tweed LOVES to play agility. Of course you are upset and life sucks! Best of luck in getting the problem under control for Tweed. Life still sucks and the best help would be massive amounts of chocolate for you and liver brownies for Tweed.
Liza Lundell says
I’m truly sorry your life sucks and Tweed’s life sucks. But I’m glad Twoo is getting the garden bunnies. I’ll eat a piece of chocolate in solidarity with you.
katie says
I read once that people only say, “things could be worse” when things are already REALLY bad. I’d say the ‘just be grateful he’s healing’ comments fall into that category-meaning the completely clueless one. My old Rottie girl may have degenerative myelopathy and someone the other day had the temerity to tell me, “at least she’s not paralyzed yet.” As if I had something good to look forward to. (insert snorting and rolling eyes here) People just say silly things.
My friend has this shelty who (sorry but its true) is very ornery-except when she’s running agility and then she looks positively blissful. She lives for running agility with her human-mom Anyone would grieve the loss of that for the pup and the human. You certainly deserve to. Although we hope you don’t lose that chance!:)
Sorry for you and sorry for Tweed and I hope the sun comes out more than just literally for you soon! But if you really can’t run him in regionals than IMO you deserve a little pity party and as much chocolate as you want!
and sorry this got so long!LOL
onlyonewoof says
Have lurked for ages (best blog ever, of course). Figured that I would offer my sympathies, as have gone thru this with my first and only dog…and I remember that it felt strangely comforting to go online and read about/talk to others who had experienced similar obstacles. My little devil had to be retired after only five trials, when she was not quite two, because of a non-responsive psoas injury that was exacerbated by mild dysplasia. We’ve tried herding, obedience, etc., but agility was her true love and mine. I miss it every single day, and I miss seeing her light up and run like the wind when we played agility. You were brave to try the procedure, and it does suck that his injury wasn’t resolved. Good luck finding a balance between keeping Tweed comfortable and keeping him happy (and yes, with Border Collies, although the former must be given greater consideration, these are not ALWAYS precisely the same thing).
ty says
No judging here!!! Just so sad Mr Tweed isn’t 100%.
By the way Twoo is look svelte in the Woo and Twoo run at the beach photo, maybe garden bunnies are lo cal as well as low priced?
Robin says
No judgments from me! When you have problems it doesn’t help for people to tell you that you should be grateful because you could be living in a third world country peeing in a bush with bushment looking at your hoohaa.
Rossie says
well, poop. How frustrating. Poor doggie and food lady just want to run and weave and jump. HOw hard is that? C’mon universe, fix Tweed’s foot!
Jamie says
TFL I can’t say much but I am so sorry. It sucks and you deserve a post like this! You do so much for your dogs and no one can deny that. I am sending all my positive healing energies to Mr. Tweed and hoping that WooTwo doesn’t end up looking like an XL meatball with extra bunny snacks.
Ktbug Ladydid says
FL: you are perfectly warranted to throw an all-out pity party for yourself right now. The vets are stealing your moneys without fixing your dog (not on purpose, of course). I know the feeling. And I also understand how your dog IS the sport. When a great dog like Tweed is denied an activity that is part of him, something he enjoys whole-heartedly, it’s anguishing to watch. Please, eat some ice cream and chocolate, give him some nice scritches, and I will keep my fingers crossed that Tweed’s career isn’t over. I hope that you both improve soon.
love and kisses, Mitzi n’ Me.
Carol says
Phooey.
Hugs for Tweed and TFL.
Chocolate and liver cookies, too.
Phooey.
Blue skies, warmth, and sun your way.
And healing to Tweed, so he can play.
(And while I’m at it, a lucrative part-time gig for TFL.)
Patricia says
I am soooooo sorry to hear about poor Tweed, how aweful for you. Have been there too, my dog ended up getting a herniated disc while playing with another dog, ended our Agility forever. But Tweed is strong and all the vibes going to Tweed will heal.
From Edmonton, Banny & Liam & Mom
amy says
Well that just SUCKS.
JoAnne says
Seeing Tweed look so sad just made me cry, so I know how you must feel.
I’m so sorry that you are both feeling pain, a kind that our words and wishes can’t take away.
Please know that I am thinking of you both and the other fur babies as well and can only hope that life can get back to normal very soon. ((((Hugs))))
Deb says
That’s a real bummer for you and Tweed. No one should be judging your disappointment. You feel what you feel! And we all know that your first concern is for you dogs’ well being. I’m just hoping the Dr. can fix Tweed up soon so he can both feel better and compete in something he (and you) love. Best of luck!
TheRedQueen says
Having a dog that’s sidelined permanantly from the sport that he loves…I completely understand your pain and sadness with this. :(
Flo says
Dangit. I was looking forward to seeing him get through a speedy recovery and kick ass at Regionals.
Nothing’s worse than having a dog who loves a sport being sidelined by injury. Some of ours have had hip dysplacia. Can’t explain to them why they can’t do what they love, can’t make it stop hurting so they can do what they love, always end up being the meanie for making them sit on the sidelines.
Still, I’m wishing you tons of GOOD luck on him getting back to being fully sound over time (hoping for a miracle so you all get to play at Regionals, too).
nickelsmum says
An undiagnosable knee injury took Cedi out of flyball early. It was what she lived for. It, not me. She’s a very active, somewhat anxious 10 year old red Aussie now who can’t really do the stuff she loves. It’s been sucking for 3 years now, and while getting her recently diagnosed Addison’s treated has helped… she still has a sore knee and still can’t do what she loves. I sometimes wonder if SHE thinks her life is worth living.
I’m the last one to criticize you for being miserable over this.
amanda says
that’s super sucky. I feel your pain.
the thought of never doing agility with my dog again brings me to tears. she loves it so much (almost as much as gophers)…thankfully she appears to be on the mend and doing well, but not too long ago I was facing a similar situation.
keeping my fingers and paws crossed for Tweed, and you!
Jolene says
sorry to here that Tweed is still hurting.
Just wondering if you have ever checked him for lymes? The disease can cause chronic limping….just a suggestion.
Hope he feels better soon.
Evie Douglas says
Wll, sh*t! I’m so sorry for Tweed, you, nationals, & the sucky weather. Which, seeing as how I am just a bit south of you, I have too. Mostly though I’m just plain sad for Tweed. :( Hugs.
Mar says
Damn. Those first two shots of Tweed ripped me up. Having multiple dogs with multiple health issues I know how hard it is to see them hurting. There are days that I wish I could do a ” Just tell me what’s wrong, where it hurts ” and have them answer me. We will keep sending good vibes your way, don’t think it works but it’s the best we can do.
Wish you could see my vet …
Maxa says
I am sending warm Australian hugs of sympathy, empathy AND liver cookies :<
Jen says
First time poster, and mom to an abnormally large (100lb, but skinny as a rail, and 29 1/4″tall at the withers) purebred golden, and a lovely, completely devoted to me, and only me, tri border she-biatch ;)
Anyways, none of that was relevant, was it? Sorry to hear about Tweed’s foot… I wonder though, how long it has been since you had the prolotherapy done for him? I have had prolotherapy for myself, and it hurts like a mofo. Afterwards you feel like you’ve been worked over by a baseball bat or a 2×4 for a good week or 2… Maybe he just needs another day or 2…
I hope the prolo will work, but unless he had a ligament injury, it’s unlikely to, as it’s, at it’s most basic, an injection of sugar to irritate the ligament, causing it to shrink/reheal…
Poor Tweed, and poor FL :(
riosmom says
One more voice saying I’m sorry and, yes, it sucks. Gracie likes agility and does it to please me (I LOVE it) so I haven’t been lucky enough to have a dog who LOVES it but I can imagine your disappointment and hurt – for Tweed and for the Regionals. Sending healing vibes for him and chocolate vibes for you. And sun screen for the Regionals. BTW, Piper might surprise you – I know it won’t make up for Tweed but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Whatever the hell that means. Wishing for you all.
The Food Lady says
“I wonder though, how long it has been since you had the prolotherapy done for him? I have had prolotherapy for myself, and it hurts like a mofo. Afterwards you feel like you’ve been worked over by a baseball bat or a 2×4 for a good week or 2… Maybe he just needs another day or 2… ”
Tweed had the sclerosing 4 weeks ago this Wednesday.
One week in a cast, 24/7 crate rest
One week no cast, 24/7 crate rest
One week on leash walking only
He’s now been free to run for almost a week. He is still badly limping on and off. It was not a sugar injection, it was a chemical one, as it’s supposed to dull/kill certain nerves as well as cause the immune response / fibrous tissue build-up/breakdown. Whatever it did or did not do, his limp is much worse than it was before we started.
“BTW, Piper might surprise you – I know it won’t make up for Tweed but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.”
She might surprise me, but I highly doubt it. And even if she does, she’s not got Tweed’s experience to pull it off totally. She might qualify for Nationals, but just qualifying for Nationals is not enough to make it worth taking her to them. If we’re not on the podium, we’re not going to Nationals – the competition is too fierce, and a middle-of-the-pack finish doesn’t make a Nationals trip make sense. I really think Tweed could have made top 5, maybe top 3, this year.
:(
It’s just not going to be a fun Regionals running only Piper. She’s supposed to be my “fun” no-placement-stress dog at the event. Now if everything’s pinned on her, it won’t be fun. It’ll just be stressful. Phooey.
Crystal says
So sorry for Tweed not feeling good. Hopefully he’ll start feeling better soon. Are the vets sure he isn’t allergic to the stuff the shot into his foot? You said it has red bumps where the injections were. I know my girl gets red bumps where she gets her shots because of a metal allergy, so it might be food for thought if the vet hasn’t eliminated that possibility.
Wishing Tweed the best.
Katharine Swan says
I want to know what Jackie wants to know: What the vet has to say about all this. I have to admit I was a bit suspicious when you announced that he had this amazing new miracle cure. :( I say if it turns out your vet led you astray, you sic the Sadist on him.
The Food Lady says
“I have to admit I was a bit suspicious when you announced that he had this amazing new miracle cure.”
It’s not a new cure at all. Google Prolotherapy – it’s been around forever. It’s just not commonly practiced on animals in Canada. However, I spoke to other people who’ve had him do it for their dogs and they have been nothing but pleased with the results. It’s worked really well for their dogs. Sadly, not for Tweed :(
RachelB says
A big cup of hot cocoa for you, Food Lady, and a big pile of doggie cookies for Tweed. I’m so sorry he’s still hurting.
Jon says
So sorry to hear that Tweed is not on the mend…we will send healing thoughts and prayers your way. It’s natural to feel down but don’t give up hope, he may still make a comeback or you might be able to garner some information for alternative procedures that may help him get back on his feet and in running form.
In lieu of chocolate I’ll eat a gallon of ice cream as a show of solidarity and I invite everyone else to do the same. Go Tweed…!
Arwen Lune says
Well shit. So sad for you and Tweed. My heart broke for him when you wrote that he was weaving on 3 legs because he was that desperate to play.
cinnamondog says
Poor you! And poor Tweed, I hope the grand old fella’s footies stop hurting. Have no suggestions, constructive or otherwise, so will just hold out blind, dumb hope that improvement is near.
It about broke my heart when I had to retire my Sheltie, Shiri, from agility due to arthritis in her right elbow. All the people who said ‘oh, it bothers you more than it bothers her, she will be okay!’ were dead fecking wrong. Shiri without agility was desolate, a compass without magnetic north. Only the arrival of Rowley the BC to be her bossed boy has gone some way to compensate her for the loss of agility, which is/was the activity love of her life. We send hugs and sympathy to Tweed.
The Dog Swimmerer says
Just suggestion, don’t know if you have any close….but I highly recommend you find a theapy pool and get some Aquatic Therapy for him. I have seen it do wonders…dogs that lost all hope can now walk again! I have seen things that are nothing short of miraculous. It does need to be a proper pool…swimming in the lake or other body of water is not the same! We swim all manner of agility dogs that for whatever reason cannot run anymore…it helps their mind as well as their body…
I am sure it will help Tweed.
Lori says
I hope whoever is saying that you just buck up and be Miss Sunshine when you feel so disappointed steps in a big steaming pile of dog poo!
Taryn says
I am so sorry Tweed isn’t better yet! And I TOTALLY understand your disappointment, on all levels. One of my Cardis has an on again/off again lameness (not due to Lyme), that never seems to heal completely. He is pretty much done with agility as a result. I can tell he misses it.
I raise my chocolate bar to you in sympathy!
alegria says
Well, shit – definitely the appropriate sentiment. I am incredibly sorry for you, FL, that things are working out this way especially with how the “planets were aligned” to do so well this year. :(
Whoever’s telling you to cheer up and it could be worse should be smacked with a large fish. Yeah, everyone’s life could be worse – doesn’t mean that what’s happening now is a barrel of roses.
The photos of the damp dogs are really gorgeous though, they look almost painted due to the light and the damp. I just wish the look on Tweed’s face wasn’t quite so heartbroken. :(
Vicky says
Tears came to my eyes while reading this and looking at Tweed’s soulful face. I have a border collie/aussie who lives for frisbee and when she injured herself this year, we had to lay off and cancel a competition. I couldn’t bring myself to take another dog as I wanted to compete with her and see the joy in her face. Best healing thoughts and prayers to you and Tweed.
Yvonne Mulcaster says
When an antibiotic does not improve an infection, it is the wrong antibiotic. Get your vet to try a different one ASAP. Permanent damage is being done while the infection continues. White healing light to Tweed from us. Fingers and paws crossed for a better antibiotic to work quickly.
Leanne says
Lurker de-lurking here, because I feel your pain.
My lovely lurcher has had various things wrong over the past couple of years. She is now semi-retired, getting occasional runs at shows that I know have perfect footing. If the course is too twisting or the weather too hot/cold, she doesn’t run.
Dozens of people offered the old “well, your dog doesn’t care if she can’t run agility”. Really? REALLY? This drives me crazy. She might not be aware of the loss in her lifestyle like I am, but it still breaks my heart to know she won’t ever finish up a course again with her serious, concentrating face breaking into a smile because she knows she’s won it. She won’t ever get to feel that again. Just because she doesn’t know it, doesn’t mean I don’t want her to.
But also … agility was fun for me because I got to see her do that. For a long time, knowing I wasn’t going to get to see her noisy annoying smug look was a nearly a deal breaker. I thought about walking away, but my baby dog was just coming to love it and I couldn’t do that to him. On the other hand, I piled way too much pressure on him to take Kim’s place and get the placings she used to, and he’s not that dog. 18 months later, and now he’s technically a better dog than she is, and now I get to see his serious collie face demanding a ball after he’s run good, and it’s all fun again (even if it’s not the same).
Feel free to milk the self-pity cow for as long as needs be.
(Oh gosh, that was a long comment, sorry!)
skeeter says
So sorry to hear Tweed is still hurting. Breaks my heart to see his little face and it would probably break my heart to see your face too. Weather sucks and probably will this summer…thanks El Nino! I have no words of advice but will sympathize with you by eating some chocolate and moping around the house (was kinda planning to anyways but misery does love company).
Kim says
I feel your pain. My acd blew her CCL (ACL in humans) when she was 7 yrs old. We did the TPLO and she was able to run again 6 months later. About a year or so later her other knee was showing wear and over the next couple months the limp was getting worse and worse. The vets kept saying it was not the CCL. We finally retired her from flyball at almost 9 yrs of age. Problem was she also could not play ball or frisbee. This made for a very hateful acd who started biting my toy poodle. She is a nice acd who is not aggressive but the lack of play actually changed her temperament.
After many talks with the different vets we brought her back to flyball knowing she would probably blow out the other knee which she did. We let her run part time – she went in the building on 3 legs, ran on 4 legs and left on 3 legs. She still ran nice times. She was so damn happy it made us happy. About 4 days later she had her 2nd TPLO and 6 months after that started playing flyball again. She runs in the vets division now and is no longer biting the poodle just because he looked like he needed to be bit.
I am sorry about Tweed. I hope that he somehow makes a miraculous recovery and you get to compete at Regionals.
And yeah folks saying you should feel lucky, or could be worse, or at least it isn’t this… really suck. That does not help.
SweetCeana says
This is a shot in the dark, but what elevation are you at? When my sesamoid bone was removed (as well as a ligament) the higher up I was the worse it hurt for about the first 2-3 years. It killed me when I was up high. I lived in the Denver, Colorado area at the time (1 mile up) and it had a constant painful ache at a mile high that eventually tapered off after 6 months or so. Then going even a little bit higher would make it throb like crazy for the next 2ish years. Is there a chance that regionals is at a lower elevation that will feel better on Tweeds poor tootsies?
SweetCeana says
Sorry to post again, but could it be all the rain you are having? Those pressure changes really hurt my foot at first too. Maybe when the weather is less volitale his feet will hurt less? Poor Tweed, and poor FL.
Ruth says
That’s terrible for you! You’ve been looing forward to the Regionals for so long! poor Tweed – I hope he gets better… whenever he will.