I finally punched Wootie and rearranged his face.
Just kidding.
I finally quit agility with Dexter. After an amazing class last week, last night he regressed to his more usual self and we spent most of his entire turn trying to get past three obstacles. AGAIN. I got more frustrated, he got more frantic/spastic and finally I just took him out of the barn and put him back in the truck.
And instantly felt a thousand times more relaxed.
It’s not just the frustration of not making much progress. It’s not just the expectations I had for him when I picked him out of that amazing litter. It’s not that we don’t win ribbons. It’s that I don’t like the dog that Dexter is when we play. I have spent what feels like half a life time trying to convince people that border collies are not half crazed, spastic, neurotic maniacs who can’t sit still for more than 7 consecutive seconds. But this dog …. this dog was, like, born to prove me wrong! He is everything none of my other border collies have ever been, and everything I have never wanted my dogs to be. He is challenging enough to live with on a daily basis, but when we play agility he becomes the stuff of nightmares.
I am downright tired of playing agility with this:
I finally decided last night that I want to like Dexter, so I have to stop playing agility with him altogether. For whatever reason, he just can’t play the game and retain any of his sanity at the same time – and sadly for him, he can’t even be handled by anyone else, as he won’t play for anyone else. If someone else tries to get him to run, he just stands in one place and stares at me. If I leave the barn, he sits by the door and ignores everyone else in the building. Auntie Fiona says I “overbonded him.” I don’t know how I did that and wish I hadn’t!
Where are you going? Why aren’t you looking at me? LOOK AT ME!! MOMMMMYYYY!!!!
I’m thinking of trading him in for something a little more stable. And I have just the candidate!
This guy ended up in my shelter and his owner couldn’t come claim him. And I LUFF him, and want him REAL BAD!
He’s 13 months old and he is full of energy and drive, but he has a brain and he uses it. He’s super responsive and offers all kinds of behaviours. And he hugs! He’s like Dexter without the crack habit. I like him so much I am sending him to a foster home on the Island so I can’t be tempted ;-)
He came in with this little sweetheart, an 8 month old female that is adorable, but reminds me a little too much of a certain big eared buffoon that I already live with.
Lucky for me, I am more than at my dog limit, so there will be no more dogs for me for a long time. Which is kind of disappointing, because of 6 dogs, only one can play agility with me. Which is a lot of pressure on a wee whipjack!
Fortunately, I love playing with her. She is by no means perfect, and she has some funny agility quirks too, but she tries real hard to play WITH me, which makes her fun.
In other news, Miss Pfeifer has discovered toys, kind of. Today she amused herself for a while with this demolished soccer ball, which was pretty funny, as it was mostly frozen and completely deflated. I think she might have found an intact soccer ball a little more fun, but as she has thus far shown no interest in toys, I’ll take what we can get!
The Evil Monkey is coming along really well. He’s a bit of a bad ass, but nowhere near the monster his adopters suggested he was. He continues to resource guard 100% of nothing from me, and though he can be a willful little shithead, he’s a pretty normal little dog. I think anyone with some dog sense would be able to handle him pretty easily. And he plays fetch!
You should adopt him!
This weekend I get to see TDBCR Pip, who (unlike SOME dogs that live in my house and are right now staring at me from the sofa) is a stellar agility dog under the guidance of her adoptive mum, Julie. They have come up from the US to compete at a trial here in the Lower Mainland, so I finally get to see Pip run in person! I am excited! And I am going to video it, and then hold Dexter’s eyeballs open a la A Clockwork Orange, and force him to watch over and over again!!
Happy Weekend!
Photobomb
Adrienne says
Good for you! It’s your call to make and I think it’s a good thing to not hate your dog, despite other’s expectations.
Wootie looks like he tangled with a porcupine.
When will we get to see video of Springaling doing agility? I luff her too!
Leandra says
Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you and your dog, even though you had your heart set on a particular activity. Doing agility with Dexter certainly isn’t fun for you and it may not really be fun for him either. I’ll bet you’re learning a lot from him though and he will probably be very good at some other sport. Scentwork may be useful for calming him down and giving him plenty to think about.
Toni Cramer says
I have threatened to do that twice with my baby border collie – not so baby anymore. And flyball instead of agility. But same sentiment and principles apply. In the end, I sucked it up and decided that my leadership in the relationship was lacking (no, not force). Which is NOT to say that yours is. Just to say that I had to change some things pretty dramatically and confront/reject what others (top notch best-in-field people) told me to do. We found our way. And she is racing and doing a fine job. But I totally understand the decision to throw in the towel after so many attempts and trials and errors. One advantage I had – I was really focused on this pup. I have two others – one a house elf and the other already a tried and true trained competitor. So I was not distracted by so many dogs and pulled in so many directions. All that being said, border collies are at best a handful (that’s why we love them, right?) but at worst a nightmare because they are some damn smart and can be so eccentric. The ying and the yang. You do have to decide when enough is enough and draw the line and move on sometimes. Wishing the best for you and Dex and hope you find lots of other ways to play together that is satisfying for both of you.
Jett says
Really happy Woo’s face has not been rearranged, but sorry for your Dexter problems. I know the feeling because, after 18 months of trying, I had to finally accept that Rowan is never going to play flyball and move on to other things. She *should* be fabulous at it but is afraid of being “attacked” by the evil ball coming out of the evil box at, what, 3 mph?!?! :::sigh::: After trying out herding, it appears that her calling is agility, with a side of Nosework. I love her no matter what she chooses, but she is *supposed* to be my flyball dog!!
Patty says
I started and stopped flyball training with my nutball Keeshond so many times that I lost count. I just needed a break, and we needed to focus on other things in his training or nothing at all. Each time I re-started, we made some progress, but invariably another issue would pop up and I’d eventually have to bail. Or kill him. So I chose the bailing option. After 3 1/2 years of on-again-off-again, the little pooper was finally tournament ready. We had two fun-filled years of competition and training success, and then you know what the s.o.b. did? Ran headlong into a tree and blew up disk in his neck! Flyball career over, but at least he’s alive. Their lives are just too short to waste time doing things that aren’t fun with them. So quitting means you can enjoy each other again, then I say quit as often as you can!
Tori says
I had to make the decision to stop agility with my Border Collie. I enjoyed it, but she no longer did. The frustration and upset was not fair to her, so I threw in the towel. She is a very sensitive dog that is also reactive and shuts down easily… Competitive environments are not for her. It was really hard to accept, especially since I so badly wanted a sport dog. She used to love agility practice, but after trying to trial her she no longer enjoyed the sport at all. Thankfully I now have my new young dog to train in sports, and he adores it. I still play with my girl for fun sometimes, but she will never step foot in a trial ring again. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for both you and your dog. It is a hard decision to make, but enjoying your dog is so much more important than any sport out there.
Maggi says
I do not compete with my dog, We never got around to doing agility classes (time, money, access…all excuses fit) before she injured her knee chasing a damn whippet at the dog park. We are now working on scentwork type classes and hopefully competition. Someday, with another dog, I hope to compete in a more active sport but it is what it is and it is about me being happy and my dog being even MORE happy…
You did the right thing for the dog you have in front of you. We dont’ always get the dog we want..I wanted a relatively independent dog and got an reactive separation anxious dog who is sweet as can be and I love her dearly. Sometimes they just can’t handle what we want to throw at them. They are more like us than we can ever imagine in that way.
Jenn says
“I like him so much I am sending him to a foster home on the Island so I can’t be tempted ;-)”
Good idea. I’d be tempted too!
cinnamondog says
I know some Border Collies who are like Dexter in that way: when they are on an agility course, they are out of their freakin’ minds. At first, I confess, I assumed it had to do with their owners and the way they’d been trained. Then I realized that no, there is nothing so clear-cut as the cause. I don’t understand it, and I know it must be frustrating as hell to have such a dog. It’s like the Sheltie spin: I hate it, I view it as a manifestation of neurosis, I deny that a reasonably raised Sheltie will ever do it, and I have a Sheltie who’s been doing it for 15 years. Go know.
Spring will keep you in practice, and one day you’ll have another agility dog.
Riosmom says
My sympathies and you never know – maybe a really long break will settle Dexter. I have a friend with a Dexter twin – on a Gamble run, Duffy had taken half the obstacles on the field before my friend left the start line. When she finally caught up with him and tried to send him to the gamble, he refused to leave her side. He turned out to be a good herding dog and even had a couple of decent years in agility after a break of several years. Dogs are who they are and they are amazing – and frustrating. I worked at an agility trial yesterday and was, once again, amazed at the variety of performances. Enjoy Springaling – she may turn out to be the agility dog of your dreams.
BTW, another vote for NoseWork for Dexter – it really does focus a dog and is more fun for dog and human than you might think.
clairesmum says
Regular reader, went to paypal to try to make a donation to the fund for Piper’s knee – and tried to send an email to mrssnappyone@yahoo.com as was listed in your 12/21 post – but it returned as undeliverable – the paypal site indicated this yahoo address is not registered with them yet to receive funds – don’t want to send the money to the WRONG person – is this the correct email address to use at paypal? thanks. mary
(no need to post on the web)
SweetPea says
I’d adopt that sweet dog in a heartbeat… only I’m in Central Oregon *sigh* That face just speaks to me…
Tammy says
Clairesmum, you have an extra “s” in there. It is Mr. Snappy not Mrs. Snappy. :-)
Lexi says
My sister and I started agility classes at the same time, me with my cattle dog mix (Trophy), her with her english setter (Pan who is 18 months younger than my dog). Pan reminds me of Dexter, her two catch phrases are “Run First, Think Later” and “I do what the Butterflies and Unicorns in my head tell me to do”. She’s a bit spastic to say the least. Flyball is her thing, very repetitive and predictable. She can go balls to the wall doing it. It’s much harder to reign her brain in for the communication side of Agility, the “hey, remember me? I’m the one telling you where to go!” Well, due to some health problems my sister had to drop out of classes for about 4 months, so Pan got a long break. So far she’s only had one class back, but she was almost a different dog. I handled her in her first class back so my sister could handle my dog and get herself back in the game with a very human-connected dog. We were doing perfect rear crosses, and some nice distance work, and for the first time EVER she stuck her contacts (she didn’t hold them, but she didn’t fly off the A-frame like she had previously). Anyway, my long-winded story is just to say, get the bond you are looking for with Dexter, let him grow up and mature, and then at least a year down the road take him back to one class just for the hell of it and see how he does. If it’s a crap shoot all over again, then fine, but maybe he just needs a realllllly long break to work on everything else in his life first. :)
Trophy was my pick of the litter, my hope to have a dog capable of sports (my first two dogs have hip displasia, they were 2 and 3 when I adopted them). But I didn’t start training for flyball until he was almost 3, and we started agility 8 months after that. He needed the time to mature, and now he is the most amazing dog of my dreams. :)
Good luck to you and Springaling!!
Gill Iredale says
Greetings from the UK!
I live just outside the Lake District in a coastal town called Maryport. I have a 15 month old Schnoodle called Sophie.
I regularly read your blog – it’s fantastic!
I hope your ‘gang’ are ok because you haven’t posted for a few days??!!……….
Gill Iredale