Up Next On Snowcase

More snow!

Half a Wootie’s worth of snow, to be precise.

This ridiculous.  On Thursday I went and picked up the keys to my new place and the world looked like this:

Now everything looks like this:

And guess what else?

WE’RE GETTING MORE SNOW!

FOR THREE MORE DAYS!!

And you can just wipe that border collie smile right off your happy face Dexter.  We are running out of essentials.  Soon you dogs will be forced to eat one another.  I recommend starting with the fat ones (I’m looking at you, TWooie!)

So. Much. Snow.  It’s really rare for us to get snow at all here – usually we get a smallish dump of an inch or three, just enough to make it look pretty and fun for the dogs, then it melts away within 48 hours or so and we’re back to the wet stuff.  But this winter has been drunk, and should go home.  We had snow on the ground for SEVEN WEEKS in December and January – it didn’t snow like A LOT a lot, but it snowed and stayed, which is rare in and of itself.  It finally melted, we all remembered what the world looked like without being frozen … my chickens thought it was spring and started laying again, I could open the windows and type without wearing gloves.  I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO MOVING INTO MY NEW HOUSE.  Then this happened.  And this was a LOT of snow, well over a foot in 24 hours.  A few more centimetres last night.  And now they are calling for more snow right through Wednesday.  I hear this morning it’s already snowing again to the East of us. *ETA – as I typed that, I glanced outside … it’s snowing again here too.  UGH!

Inexplicably, the dogs *love* the stuff.

So many happy faces!

(Fae looks freaked out, but believe me, it’s one of her happy faces)

Not sure what they’re so happy about.  The snow is deep enough, and heavy enough, that is causes the hairy dogs to turn into snow transportation delivery devices:

And you know what dogs hate?  Blow dryers.  You know what gets rid of snowball collections?  Blow dryers.

You know what I hate?  Snow shovels.  You know what I had to use for the first time in memory?  You know where this is going. I had to shovel a path to the poultry, and then paths FOR the poultry so they could walk to their feeders.  I shoveled the driveway like 4 times on Friday, gave up, and basically screamed via text message at my landlord until he took care of the driveway.  Not that it matters, seeing as how our road is not plowed and I can’t  go anywhere once I leave the driveway anyway.

MINI-ME INTERLUDE.

These photos make me laugh, because Dexter and Peetie are basically one-dog-same-dog.

Ears up, happy faces on

Ears back, crazy faces engaged.

The snow is good for photos, I’ll give it that.  It turns out that winter makes Winter look nice even!

When I mentioned earlier that my landlord “took care of the driveway” what I should have said was “#childlabourforthewin.”  He put his teenager, his brother’s teenager and some other random teenager to work with snow shovels and the poor buggers are the ones that cleared the driveway.  Which might explain the half-assed job of it, but hey, at least its not under a foot of snow anymore.  Rumour has it he paid them in Doritos.  The dogs heard this rumour as well.

Often I hear from people “I don’t know how you handle so many dogs!”  Well, it’s easy!

First of all, don’t bother training them, let them be shamelessly ill mannered and jump all over people and try and steal their food.

It’s especially effective if you let them mob people en mass.  Much less work than instilling manners.

Pay children Doritos to make them play with your dogs, so you don’t have to.

And then let them free-feed on the blood of those children.

Pre-order my book, “Owning Ten Really Bad Dogs And How To Live With Them Without Guilt” coming soon!

Just kidding.  BUT – as those of you who follow us on Facebook already know, I did in fact publish a new book!

I did it a little differently this time; I made it an EBook, so you can read it on your tablet, like an iPad or Kindle, or even on your desk top.  I did it this way because the traditional coffee-table style book is SO EXPENSIVE to produce, especially as my books are so photo-heavy, that it’s cost prohibitive to publish.  Like this one would have been around $70.00.  Ridiculous.  So as much as I love the coffee-table style photo book, I figured – y’all already look at my photos on some kind of digital device, why not make the book in the same format?  That way it’s affordable and convenient and full of instant gratification (order, download, enjoy!)

My personal goal is to sell 100 copies of the Ebook, and I am nowhere near that goal.  So please help me accomplish something this year, and boost my kicked-in-the-arse self esteem, and buy my book!  It’s only $10 CAD, so practically free for you Americans, and it’s pretty funny if I do say so myself :)

Mr. Woo will judge you if you don’t buy a copy.  Don’t nobody need that kind of grief in their lives.

And now I am off to make the long long trek on foot to the store to buy milk,  because without milk there is no coffee, and without coffee, there is no life.