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Where Oh Where Has The Food Lady Been

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Do you know that last night when I started writing this, I had to walk all the way over to the main house, in the dark, to reset the modem because my internet went down.  Something of the insect variety was buzzing in the hood of my coat.  I still don’t know what it was, and I don’t think I want to know.  I know I don’t.

I also know I have been the WORST BLOGGER IN THE WORLD.  I haven’t blogged in over two months :(  There are lots of reasons why.  It was a busy summer and fall for me, lots of events to photograph, which is great fun (and an immense amount of work) – agility, lure coursing, dock diving, disc dog … just endless activities!  But I’m cutting way back on event photography next year, because it’s a lot of investment  and wear and tear on my equipment for not a lot of monetary return.  I had a very busy Autumn with lots of fall colours sessions, which was also fantastic! And now I’m heading into Holiday Sessions – 2 of 3 full days sold out!  Also great, but the editing will be endless ;-)

But I miss photographing my own dogs, which I hardly ever seem to get the chance to do these days.  In part it’s because I’ve gotten a lot pickier about what photographs I’m happy with and I want to put out there representing my work.  I was pretty laid back about my work on the blog and did a lot less “set up” of shots, and just kind of hung around with my dogs and photographed them at our leisure.  And that organic feeling is missing now, which is largely because my home space is … ugly.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful we have all have somewhere warm and secure to live, but the yard is nothing to look at it and even less to photograph.  Also, it’s in a parking lot of a fairly busy building, so the dogs aren’t relaxed all that often (nor am I) as there’s a fairly steady stream of activity most days, which distracts us all.  I admit I miss the lush variety of my old acreages, where we could just hang out and be in each other’s company and I could take photos at random.  Now, because of the ugly, and the activity, I take my dogs off the property for exercise most days and it’s just not always practical to drag out the equipment with us.  I need a lot of eyes on my busy crew when I’m out somewhere, and can’t do that when at least one eyeball is stuck to the eyepiece of my camera.  So I feel like the story-telling aspect of my blog is missing, because I have fewer stories to tell because my dogs are *exercising* rather than *being*, if that makes sense.

So today I hauled my ass and the dogs and the camera up a mountain.  Even Dexter was perplexed!

But (I think) happy?

Because it’s Vancouver, and it’s November, it of course started raining shortly into our hike, so I didn’t get a lot of photos.  I also miss my studio quite a lot!

Anyway, how about a pupdate on all the beasts?

For a fun fall activity, I decided to stop feeding Addy, so she has resorted to scavenging for food wherever she can find it.

She got so skinny she was practically floating away!

According to that Facebook Memories thing, today is Arriva-A-Versary …. 5 years ago 9lbs of squirrel brain burrowed into my shirt and never left!  She’s a lot greyer now.  She also, we have discovered, has mild seizures randomly.  Like maybe once a year – she had one a few weeks back, which was scary but very short lived.  She is so ADHD she can’t even concentrate long enough to have a real seizure ;-)

Fae, always a keen observer, figured she was next on my hit list, so she’s taken to hiding from me so maybe I will forget to starve her.  Or perhaps I’m hiding HER because my mom keeps threatening to steal her … on FB she threatened to run me over with her car and keep Fae for herself.  Obviously, I hail from a very loving family …

Mr. Woo is not hiding, he just thinks he’s a super model and he knows what colours compliment him best.  I actually have a HELL of a time keeping him OUT of photos these days, because he wants to be in every shot … because posing means cookies, and (hello) I starve my dogs.  Also, he’d really like me to stop taking photos of his sad, pathetic excuse for a tail.  And he uses his old-age deafness to pretend he can’t understand me telling him to get out of the shot.

(I’m thinking about having that growth removed from his eyelid, 10% because I worry it bothers him, and 90% because it bothers me in photographs.  Also, his tail is actually growing in quite nicely, albeit slowly.  I am hoping it will have recovered by spring and we can have a party to celebrate!)

And speaking of Spring, she has taken up Parkour (look at her back feet!).

Whereas her brother has taken up (mostly) coming when called.  We got pretty lax in that department, and it has resulted in Winter obsessing about running after things he sees in the distance, like cyclists, or other dogs, or people minding their own business.  And when Winter goes, Spring goes, and when 2 go, at least 5 of the remaining 7 figure SOMETHING IS EXCITING AND THEY SHOULD GO TOO.  So we went right back to basics (as Winter is a simple man) and every time I say his name, I shove something delicious in his mouth.  This month that deliciousness is chicken wieners, because they were on sale.  His recall has improved about 90% and last weekend I managed to call him off of not one but TWO bicycles he was thinking about chasing.  I’m super pleased with this, and he’s currently ranking about 7 of my top 9 dogs in the house as a result.

Also, he and his sister make a wonderfully delightful duo when they pose together.

Like this:

And this:

And this!

They have supplanted their Senior Sibling Duo, because I DON’T PHOTOGRAPH SOFT CORE PORN, MR. WOO!

Hovering around the very bottom of my Top Dogs list is this asshole.

A few weeks ago she and Fae were sharing a recliner and she shifted around and stepped on Fae.  Fae is, pound for pound, the biggest cow in the universe, so Fae snarked at her and told her off.  This asshole retaliated by picking Fae up by the face and shaking her around until I punched her in the ribs and made her let her go.  Fae had a little cut on her head, and a big pee on my recliner, and Peetie was very contrite, so I decided to chalk that one up as an anomaly from the world’s stupidest dog.  But then about a week ago we were out playing ball in the yard and she bashed into TWooie (because she has zero sense of personal space) and he snapped at her, because it was rude.  So she proceeded to kick ten kinds of holy hell out of him until I whacked her repeatedly with the Chuck It and drove her off.  TWooie has a hole in his face, and one in his neck, and Peetie has all my intense loathing.

I don’t understand this dog at all.  She is the first to befriend all new foster puppies, and is unfailingly patient with them … I used to catch Silly dragging her around the house by her face, which must have hurt (a lot more than Fae air snapping at her!) and She Who Is Not Friendly About Her Food can chew on a very high value pork bone while Addy furiously humps her (I don’t know why Addy does that) without so much as a glance at her tiny little violator.  And 11 months of the year she is perfectly lovely with her siblings, but once a year or so she decides to visit some furious vengeance on them for no good reason.  I don’t know what to do with her.  I’ve toyed with strangulation, but maybe rehoming is the more humane option.  Would you like her?

I mean, TWooie is an old man.  He may be an old jerk of a man, but old he is, and I can’t have her trying to kill him.  He’s pretty fragile these days – his legs give out on him sometimes in surprising ways, and while he is game for a full 1.5 hours of hiking and chasing squirrels, he also takes advantage of every opportunity to grab a nap.

And he Old Man complains about stuff.  Like, “this cement dock is too cold and wet” and “I might fall in the water, so I don’t want to sit here” and “back in my day, dogs got THREE cookies for posing, not just one” and stuff.

And then there’s this thing.  STILL HERE.  Can’t seem to get rid of her.  I haven’t found a home for her that I really think will utilize her potential.  Which is ironic, because I also don’t and won’t use her to her full potential.  Also, the number of people who don’t email back after I send them a lengthy, thoughtful response to their adoption inquiry is kind of appalling.  Like at least half a dozen people who didn’t even have the courtesy to say “thank you for your time” is legit disgusting.  With every passing year, I enjoy rescue less and less.  I might be burned out, but I think it’s more that I just don’t like dealing with the people very much.  Also, I might be getting old and complainy, like TWooie.

And my beloved Deafter remains … deaf.  And nine years old.  NINE!  Where has the time even gone?  I feel like it was just a couple years ago I was doing to the 365puppy blog (that’s a trip down memory lane!).

He is so funny.  Since this tin can we live in is so small, and meal time can get a bit intense, I have taken to feeding him in the bedroom behind a babygate so he doesn’t have to ugly-face off hungrier dogs who eat faster than he does.  So now when I get the bowls out of the cupboard, he goes and sits in the little hallway between the main space and the bedroom with his back to all of us, then acts delightfully shocked when I appear behind him with a full bowl of deliciousness.  It’s like he’s playing a little game with himself, and it makes me laugh every meal time.  He doesn’t quite have Tweed’s finely-developed sense of humour, but he really is a character unto himself.

We’re still all adjusting to life in this little space – it’s not like we haven’t done the small space thing before!  But sometimes it’s a bit up close and personal.  I was trying to do some clicker training the other evening (trying to teach Fae the ring-stacking game …. right now she thinks it involves picking up the ring and then laying down on top of it and pretending she has no idea where it is, so we have a ways to go) and literally the only space we have to train is the 3-foot-in-each-direction space between the side of the couch and the front door, and the two stairs that lead up to the hallway.  I have to fend off the other dogs with my elbows as they try to squeeze in on the action from behind, and occasionally a particularly daring (hungry) dog will launch an aerial attack from the end of the sofa.

At least when the weather is good we have our new outdoor space, courtesy of my mom and stepdad – my new deck!

This was my birthday present and it’s fabulous!  It’s since been painted grey to match the tin can.  It definitely makes coming and going a lot less perilous than the skinny RV stairs with the even skinnier dog ramp rattling atop them.  After it was finished, it took Dexter three days or so to figure out how to get back inside … first he would try and walk “up” the dog ramp, which was laying on the ground and nowhere near the door, and would just stand on it staring at the wheel of the rv, tail gently fanning congenially in the breeze (the same breeze running through the space between his ears, apparently).  When I’d get his attention from the doorway, he would then run under the deck and out the other side in a big circle and end up back on the Ramp To Nowhere again until I put on shoes and took him up the stairs by the collar.  After a day or so of that, he finally grasped the concept of the *deck* but remained blissfully unaware of the whole “stairs” thing and he would leap on and off the deck from the side.  I don’t know why, he is perfectly familiar with stairs in his life!  He seems to have sorted it all out now though, finally.

Addy is very fond of the deck because when it’s raining, she can attempt to sneak in there and pee underneath it and risk only minimal exposure to the evil IG-targeting acid shooting down from the heavens.  Though I am quickly filling up her would-be-toilet with stuff stored under there.  I am still trying to sort out storage – I divested myself of a f*ck of a lot when I moved out of my last house, but I still have a lot of things that I can’t part with, but have nowhere else to go, so I’m paying over $200 a month for a storage facility so my stuff has somewhere to live.  I am thinking I need to finance one of those shipping containers so a) my stuff can live beside me, rather than across town and b) once I pay it off, it’s mine and potentially added bonus of c) I can use half of it as a studio space, if it’s large enough.

But my immediate need is to insulate under the rig so everything doesn’t freeze this winter.  Can’t have the band getting cold on their winter tour!

Which is why I made a calendar!  12 months of The Wootube Crew for you to enjoy on your wall in 2019.  I ordered a sample from my photo lab to show you

WATCH HERE

(without sound unless you enjoy listening to part of an episode of Sherlock Holmes).  They turned out very lovely, but they are not inexpensive because they’re from a pro lab, which means if I want to make any insulate-my-trailer money off of them, they aren’t inexpensive for you either :(  Plus shipping.  Unless you have a better idea of where to order them from more economically?  I will have to sell them for $25.00 CAD, not including shipping, and even then I’m not exactly raking in make-me-rich profits.  The post office tells me it’s about $5 shipping in Canada and about $7 to the US.  Which makes them about $24 USD for American Wootubers, but $30 for Canadians, eh?

If it’s not too rich for your blood, then you can order by sending me an email with your order, your full name and postal mailing address, and how you’d like to pay – you can send money via paypal, or if you’re local, you can do an e-transfer.  Once I have amassed all the orders, I will then order them in bulk and then ship ’em out!

Mr. Woo hopes you will order, and help him keep him as warm this winter as he looks in this photo!

A Beachin’ Good Time

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It’s a good thing “our” beach is almost always empty when we go visit, because upon arrival, this is what happens.  It’s total chaos.  And it’s like a 15 minute walk to the beach from where we park, so you’d think they have become at least somewhat blase by the time we get there!  It’s no wonder we’re social pariahs.

Usually the water looks like this – one long swimmable length of water.

But the other day there was, like, no water.  I don’t know what happened to it.  It’s not actually a beach on the ocean, it’s really just a sandy stretch along a slough.  It’s nowhere near an ocean.  So I don’t think it’s affected by tides … so where did the water go?

It’s possible that 125lbs of Alfie gallumping along its shores terrified the water into a hasty retreat.  He sounds like a herd of buffalo when he gets it into his head to cavort with his sister Betty.  It doesn’t happen often, but it’s pretty hilarious when it does!

Betty has taken to flirting wildly with Dexter lately, which is mystifying to me, as she was never much interested in interacting with him when she basically lived with me last year.  If it’s a mystery to me, it’s 12 times as mysterious to Dexter who, like an immature 12 year old boy, really doesn’t understand female flirtations.  Mostly what he does is stare at me whilst she wiggles under his chin, leaps up to smooch his eyeballs and then does somersaults under his legs trying to get his attention.  He is completely affable but unaware while she gyrates at him.

But all her clowny shenanigans does have the affect of getting Alfie excited, and he usually comes thundering over to play … and if Dexter remains oblivious to the 25lbs of butterball roiling around underfoot, he is NOT oblivious to the extra 100lbs running in his direction and he usually takes some offense.  This annoys and confuses Alfie and in the resulting melee, Betty slips away.  And I think she’s laughing.  She is one sly, wicked little shit-disturber!

Perhaps the pre-receded water had caught wind that these two devils were coming to terrorize its shores.

I miss the terrier-teeth-play of these two, it doesn’t happen often enough, maybe because they’re both getting older.   Or maybe because when they try to play like this, someone (*coughMAISIEcough*) gets involved and despite the multitude of sharp and pointies between them available to drive off intruders, they don’t really like other dogs to get in the middle of their fun and they’re kinda emo about it.

Although occasionally they do gang up on her to teach her the meaning of the word “fear.”

Very once in a while, they will temporarily allow TWooie to cavort with them.  It never lasts very long, but that’s 100% okay with him, because he’s old and he doesn’t really have the stamina for that sort of foolishness for long anyway.  It is, however, 100% adorable.  After all these years, it still tickles me pink to see TWooie happy to play with another dog(s).

His brother rarely plays at all, with anyone, these days.  Sometimes I can get him to play a bit of fetch, or a short game of “I’m Gonna Get The Wootie Stick!” but it never lasts long either.  He doesn’t seem overly tired, or depressed, he just is more interested in snuffling around for possible dropped foodstuffs, or things to pee on.  I guess simple pleasures get more pleasurable as one ages.  However, I did buy him a new “Fifa”(tm) on the way home from the beach to see if I can’t rekindle some of our old joys together :) … provided Maisie doesn’t get involved, as she’s a “PLAY WITH ALL THE THINGS” kinda dog.

(Clearly he’s thrilled at the prospect)

(his tail still looks a little (okay a lot) sad, but notice it does have some wispy growth on it.  It’s gonna be a marathon growing session to the finish, I think)

Crazy Miss Maisie remains resolutely entrenched in my home and won’t go away because everyone who wants her so far hasn’t really been ideal.  I don’t think getting one’s sport dog from rescue is the cool thing to do anymore, so she remains unwanted :(

I decided after some thought that she is probably a Springer Spaniel mix.  I got a lot of sideways looks for that when I started saying it … you know, the “Food Lady’s making up whacky theories again” look.  You’re probably even doing that right now as you read this!

Then I asked a friend of mine to come over and evaluate her for some kind of sniffer dog job, because I personally think she’d be pretty awesome at it.  I placed quite a few of those kinds of dogs from the shelter (the sniffing-for-a-living kind, not the Springer Spaniel mix kind) and got a pretty good sense of what the handlers/trainers were looking for, and Maisie ticks off all their boxes.  So I asked my friend Teresa to come over and tell me what she thought.  First thing she said whens he met her was “Is she a Springer mix?”

Now, I think Teresa would know, since she owns and trained Angus the famous “C. Difficile” Springer Spaniel who makes his living sniffing out that nastiness in hospitals!

Anyway, Maisie ticked off all her boxes too, and apparently she thinks she’d make an awesome sniffer dog.  I find nosework stuff with dogs super fascinating *in theory* – I think it’s amazing what they can do with odour and how much they enjoy it.  In practice, I find it mind numbingly boring to watch – it was somewhat more interesting when it was “my” dog figuring it out, but not interesting enough for me to to want to do it myself with any of my dogs.  I think I’ve just been generally spoiled by sports like agility which have a lot of more instant and high octane gratification for my squirrel-like attention span.  Anyway, there’s been some interest in her for the sniffing thing, so maybe she’ll be famous one day too!

And speaking of agility, I have really super good intentions of going back to the sport, usually while I am laying in bed thinking about playing.  In practice, I can’t seem to muster up the energy to actually go train, despite living right next door to a big ass facility dedicated to the sport.  I do have a handful of dogs I could be playing with – Spring’s getting up there, but hey, Tweed won Regionals when he was 12, so it’s not like she’s OLD.  Fae is delightful to play with.  In my head, Addy would be great (in reality, Addy is a trainwreck.  Ha.)  And I suppose there’s Peetie.  Pesty, stares-at-my-cookie-hands-all-the-time Peetie.

I still want to try dock diving with Peetie.  I think she could be pretty good at it.  Cuz of all the leaping.

And I really do wish I had that sort of tenacious-trainer spirit to train Addy.  She is actually awesome at all the equipment, as she fears nothing and she’ll do it all (except weaves, we haven’t gone there yet at all) but her attention span is even shorter than mine.  We might simultaneously implode trying!

But she remains the cutest little thing that ever cuted or thinged.

In my facebook “memories” thing not too long ago, a memory of Dexter’s first trial came up in my feed, when he did a 15 obstacle Jumpers course in 15 seconds.  Oh how I miss *that* Dexter; before he started going deaf, he was such an awesome dog to play agilities with.  But I love the Dexter I have now too.  Often he rides along in the front seat when my van is full (seat-belted in, of course, airbag turned off) and I have inadvertently trained him stare deeply into my eyes and place a somber paw gravely on my arm, for which he is rewarded with cookies.  Now I can’t drive anywhere without his paw resting on my arm while he tries to mind-meld me.  I can only imagine what people think at stop lights.

Anyhoo.

I know I don’t take as many photos of my own dogs / blog as much as I used to, but the more I photograph for other people and/or events, the less time I have for photographing and editing photos of my own four legged furries.  There just aren’t enough hours in the day.  I’m going to try harder!  I do run outside to try and get sunset photos whenever the conditions are favourable.

Also, for those of you not on Facebook, I’m going to be putting out a 2019 calendar soon for sale.  This is the cover:

As soon as my print lab has the 2019 template ready, I’ll make one and video it for everyone, and then take orders.  It was a fun project, looking through so many old photos of my fuzzy family, those still here and the ones that aren’t.  I miss my old dogs.  I am so glad I have all these photos to look back on :)

Won’t You Be My Neighbour

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I dunno about you, but my neighbours are SUPER nosy.  They’re always staring at me.

Sometimes they bring some friends to lay around staring at me too.

It’s rude.

Also, some of my neighbours have kids.  They’re super loud.  How can tiny kids have such big lungs?!

Tasty, tasty kids …

The stupid turkey insisted on sitting and hatching outside of the poultry pen, and still refuses to bring her kids inside the pen.  The property is pretty thoroughly fenced now (the perimeter, not my yard, which remains unfenced.  *grumble*) so I am not worried about predators except for the ones that live in my rv with me.  Because there are some certain skinny dogs and some terriorists that would eat those babies in a nanosecond.  Yesterday I found the baby turkeys INSIDE the x-penned area I have for the dogs.  The dogs were, fortunately, inside … except for Maisie, who was thinking up turkey recipes before she made her move.  I shooed them out while fending off a hoard of hungry canines, but I don’t anticipate this ending well, necessarily, until I can convince mama turkey to join the community and stop living off grid.

I’m also not unconcerned about the cats eating the poults … this giant tin tube gets REAL hot when the weather is warm, so I have taken to leaving the door open so the dogs can come in and go out at will, rather than us all crammed inside here breathing and sweating on one another.  That means I can’t keep my cats in, so for the first time in their lives, they are being indoor/outdoor cats.  I was particularly worried about Donut, because on other occasions when she has escaped whatever house I was living in, she wouldn’t ever come back inside and I’d have to live trap her.  But now she seems to have settled into the idea that it won’t be her only taste of freedom and she will happily come back inside in the evening when I tap the tin of wet cat food with the fork.  She even lets me pet her when she’s outside, which is amazing.  But if you recall from my time in the penthouse apartment in the West End, she was known as The Serial Killer Tinker Nuts, who caught and killed birds on the rooftop deck with sociopathic glee.  I would not put it past her to eat a turkey poult or two if she can sneak them away from Mama Turkey.

Cyrus is the one that’s killin’ me though.  He wanders much further afield than ‘Nutz does; she stays mostly close to home, but Cyrus goes to visit the neighbours (including the cattle and buffalo) on a regular basis.  He seems to stay away from the road, but coyotes live in them-there grasses, so I worry about him all the time.  But what I don’t worry about is feeding him, because every morning our routine goes like this:  I let everyone out into the xpen area to hang out while I go feed and water the poultry, and the cats wander off to do cat things … then I take the dogs out in small groups to potty, then I feed them breakfast and I sit down with my cup of coffee at the dining room table.  And every morning by that time, Cyrus has caught himself a fat, tasty field mouse and I watch him come ambling across the parking lot with the mouse in the mouth, so he can eat it under the rv.  If he catches something he does not like the taste of (such as shrews, or moles) he simply leaves them under the rv for safe keeping.  If he catches more than he can eat, he does the same thing, and then Addy eats it.  Blech.  So much deworming in everyone’s future.

The air quality here is really bad right now, because once again our province is on fire.  It’s been unreasonably hot this summer, again, which I’m starting to think is our new normal – pre-Apocalyptic :(  It’s all smokey and hazy outside, and I am reluctant to run the dogs in it, so I’m glad we went to our Super Secret Swimming Hole a few days ago when the sky was blue and you could see the sun.

Fae, otoh, was not impressed that I suggested she should swim to retrieve the ball if she wanted a cookie, no matter what the weather was like.

A few weeks ago, I photographed a dock diving event, which was awesome … it looked like a lot of fun for the dogs!  There’s some rumour that a dock diving pool might be unveiled ’round these parts soon, and I still think I’ve found a use for Peetie, finally, as while she sucks at pretty much everything, she is really enthusiastic about diving into the water.

…although ….

Crazy Miss Maisie would also make a hella dock diver I think.  I keep trying to shove into the faces of dog dock enthusiasts, but no luck yet.

I actually find her quite pleasant to live with – she’s developed a nice off switch, and she’s pretty easy going in the house, and will amuse herself if nobody else wants to play with her.  Although yesterday I made Winter drop a not-quite-hatched turkey egg he purloined from Off Grid Mama’s abandoned nest and she scarfed it up, maggots and all, and ran away LIKE HER ASS WAS ON FIRE, munching it down the whole time.  Can you bleach the inside of a puppy?  SO GROSS.  So clearly we need to work on “hey, how about you give me the ball of maggots in exchange for this hot dog?” or similar.

Anyway, she’s not difficult to have around, and she mostly listens pretty well, and she doesn’t run away all the time, a la Silly.  Who, by the way, is doing really well in Belize in his new home!  His human recently sent me this:

“My friend and I went to a dog show in the capital city just for fun. Decided to take Hero, Titan and Silly. They asked us if we wanted to enter into it when we were walking around with them. Figured why not? Silly ended up taking first place in obedience and the obstacle course!! I was so scared he was going to get ADD with the obedience cause there was so much activity but he did absolutely amazing ☺️ Not in the country even a week and he’s charming everyone ❤️❤️ so proud of him.“

So how much awesome is that??  I do miss his full body contact hugs though, he was greatly affectionate … but he’s landed himself a pretty cushy life. I’m a bit jealous … I would like to live in Belize, I’m pretty sure.

But back to the beach!  Spring got a cookie for hopping on and off these pilings, because it amused me, and then she wouldn’t stop doing it.  She knows an easy gig when she’s landed one!

She makes me laugh all the time, she is such a ridiculous little dog.

Addy did the piling-jumping once, but even for cookies, it paled in comparison to the satisfaction she apparently gets from digging up wet sand.  She’ll do it for two solid hours.  I love this little skinny thing beyond measure, but I really don’t think there is a lot going on upstairs in tiny-head land.

Then there’s Wootie, who is very very deaf now (whether that’s physiological or willful, only he knows) but can still hear me well enough to give me this look when I tell him I’m going to steal his Wootie Stick and chuck it in the water.

But you can’t really blame him, because his poor nekkid tail looks absolutely ridiculous when he swims.  Like a little, sad, hairless rudder.  I’m surprised he doesn’t sink; I always thought it was his Flamoyance(tm) that kept him buoyant.

And Deafter, who loves to swim…

… but also suffers some “someone might steal my ball” anxiety and spends a lot of beach time hunched over his hockey ball protectively in the sand.

He’s so handsome no matter what he does, even when his stupid tongue is hanging out.  And he’s my go-to posing dog for test shots, from sunset OCF to lavender.  He’s the best.  And he’s going to be – this will BLOW YOUR MIND – nine years old in four days.  NINE!!!!

Love my big guy so much :)

(feeling old yet??)

 

Meanie

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I am the meanest dog owner EVER.

FIRST OFF, Silly was getting on my nerves, so I drowned him.

THEN TWooie was getting on my nerves, so I drowned him too.

Drowned him DEAD!  And waited until his stiff bloated corpse washed back up onto the sand.  And then I LAUGHED!

Then I said MEAN things to Maisie about her parents, like ‘Your mama was a Golden Retriever,” and made her SAD.

Then I started a DOGFIGHTING operation!  With dogs that can FLY!

Or, you know, I took everyone swimming at the slough because it was 8 million degrees outside today and got hotter by 17 degrees each time I thought to myself “wow is it ever hot.”  It’s so hot that I wore SHORTS today.  You may not know this about me, but I **loathe** shorts.  I think they’re an insult to fashion (and I have no fashion sense!).  But I wanted to go into the water too, so I wore boy’s board shorts.  The top half of me is brown as a berry, but the bottom half is white, like TWooie’s corpse.

We like this new swimming place, because there’s usually nobody there except us, and it’s got a sandy beach, and Silly isn’t smart enough to find the path back up to the walkway and run halfway to Alberta before I notice he’s missing.  Win win all around!

Silly is actually getting a lot better about sticking around; we’ve worked really hard on recalls and lots of rewards and he’s finding it more fun to hang out with us than it is to run off to do whatever it is he does when he runs off.  He leaves for his new forever home this weekend, and I am actually going to miss the little (okay, ENORMOUS) booger quite a bit.  Also I am jealous of his new upcoming life in frickin’ BELIZE.

That will leave just Crazy Miss Maisie to find a home for.  Maisie, who has decided to become less and less border collie every day, for some reason.  She remains a super high octane doggie with an NO STOP ONLY GO attitude toward life, but physically she has decided to bulk out like The Hulk and become some kind of mystery mix.

She’s still super cute though.  And lots of fun, though still a challenge!  She is pretty independent minded and sometimes I’ll, say, call her to come and she’ll stand and eyeball me and weigh her choices before deciding whether to come get a cookie or saunter off and find her own reward.  You can actually SEE the wheels crankin’ along in her cranium while she conveyor-belts her options through the decision-making process.  She’s going to make someone laugh a lot in their life together!

And speaking of independent-minded … Mr. Woo has become rather cranky in his old age.  Tonight I asked him to come out of his hidey-hole under my chair to I could put his flea treatment on and he, while staring me bald-faced in the eyeball, refused to come out.  So when I reached under to grab his collar, he decided to snap off two or three of my fingers.  Asshole.  Maybe he’s still ashamed of his sad little penis-tail … which is growing hair and now covered in a very thin and sad little layer of peach fuzz.

He doesn’t have the same enthusiasm for swimming he did in his younger, oranger years, but he can still be convinced to go in for a paddle for his Wootie Toy(tm), provided there’s a cookie at the end of his swim.

I even convinced* his brother to go in for a dip today

(*lured him out to floating depth with a cookie and then gave him a light push, like a floaty toy, and he bobbed away further into the water before figuring out how to steer himself back to shore)

and this is how he repaid me.  He is still, 7 hours later, holding onto about 81 lbs of sand which he intends to shed onto my bed this evening, I’m sure.

Peetie + water = diving.  I should really try dock diving with Slender Dog.

Although I’m not really sure I understand what’s happening in this photo.

I feel confident she too will miss Silly, based on the expression on her face in this photo.

I plunked both Spring and Fae into the water for a swim as well, but since both of them splashed so frantically fast back to shore and I was using a long lens, I have no photographic proof of it.

My neighbour Wendy showed us this to place for swimming a couple of weeks ago.  She has a super cute Kelpie puppy, who doesn’t steal everyone else’s water toys and hoard them on the beach (I’m looking at you, Maisie)

I didn’t get any photos of Dexter today, but this one from a couple of weeks ago is a pretty accurate representation of all swimming outings with Dexter.

And then there is Miss Pants, who is allergic to raindrops, but magnetically attracted to large bodies of water.  She remains a 2D enigma.

In other news, I’ve been invited to photograph dock diving at our local fair next month (I said “local fair.”  I think I officially live in the country now.) which is exciting, because I’ve never photographed that sport before.  Also exciting is that the giant pile of dirt and logs that lives between my Big Tin Can On Wheels and the poultry pen has been almost entirely tractored away, which means I can put up a real fence and my dogs will have their own yard to play in!  Sometimes I remember that I used to live in an apartment on the 11th floor and rolled my eyes when someone said “How do you do it without a yard?”  and wonder if that actually ever was even real.

Now if you will excuse us, it’s back to sitting and sweating …

 

Oh You Haven’t Lived Until …

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I’m going to begin today’s blog post by telling you all that Addy was so excited about her dinner tonight that she inhaled it.

Literally.

So she choked.  Her ground duck and green beans went down the wrong pipe.  She couldn’t breathe.  The big old slimy mass of foodstuffs was stuck in her throat but apparently her own gag reflex wasn’t enough to bring it back up to earth (my sofa).  So you know what she did?  She howled.  It was the saddest, thinnest little sound you’ve ever heard.

So you know what I did – I opened her skinny face and jammed my finger down there and dislodged it.  She immediately upchucked it onto my sofa and then cheerfully reconsumed it, lest one of her siblings steal her double-dip bounty.  At least she chewed it this time.

Never a dull moment ’round here.

And as I apparently thrive on chaos, I now have TWO high-octane puppies in my “house.”

The big puppy is on a leash, because he is a naughty ADHD run-away puppy.  The little puppy is the Police and The Discipline of Everything so she routinely makes sure he can’t sneak away by holding onto his leash.  Also, he might run off with her frisbee, and that’s Not Okay.

Meet Crazy Miss Maisie, 15 weeks of DON’T STOP ALWAYS GO.

A very nice lady was filling up her gas tank in Washington on her way home to Canada and some sketchy looking fella shuffled up to her car and asked her if she wanted to buy his poop-covered puppy.  She said yes without hesitation, and brought Maisie home.  But she’s a senior dog person, not an INSANE BORDER COLLIE PUPPY person, so she knew she had to pass Maisie on to someone who likes INSANE BORDER COLLIE PUPPIES and so here we are :)

She is a very interesting little beastie.  Although she is affable with everyone she meets, it also took her about 2.5 days to decide I was worth paying attention to because she is a Strong Independent Woman Who Don’t Need No … human.  She is like the anti-Silly in that she has fairly laser focus (already!) and her brain is constantly engaged in making decisions (Silly’s is engaged in flying unicorns in the clouds over Candystuffiecookieland).  She is intelligent but willful, and I need to show her why she should do what I’m asking, otherwise she just levels me with a stare of mild haughtiness.  She will fetch ANYTHING and forever. She will tug EVERYTHING and a little past forever.  She fears nothing – “dock dives” into the water off the riverbank and beats Dexter to the hockey ball.  Took on a turkey.   Accepts no discipline from the adult dogs when they get annoyed with her, even though she’s the pain in the ass.  Actually, that’s not *entirely* true … she fears Addy’s wrath.  Of all dogs.  Though she be but tiny … I guess this dictate also applies to Adrenaline.

She’s also a demand barker and is constantly telling me off (“come back here!” “give me the Chuck-It” “throw the ball, moron!” etc).  She doesn’t like being on a leash so she tries to tug it right out of my grasp.  Growls when you go near her food, so we’re going to work on that one.

Oh but I like her.  She’s FEISTY.  She is a LOT of dog.  She is going to make someone a killer sport dog!

She’s about the same size as Winter / Spring right now, and the same coloration, so now I can’t figure out who anyone is, especially at a distance.  Auntie Michelle and I took the entire pack for a hike in the woods on the weekend and we just kept saying to one another “Ok I see Dext-no wait, I think that’s Peet-no, that’s definitely Silly.  But there’s Winter-wait, I think it’s Mai-shit, is that Spring?”  Told you – chaos.

The hiking trail was next to a gun range … I was worried about the dogs being startled by the near constant sound of gun shots, but nobody batted an eyelash except Auntie Michelle, who hiked in a state of near-constant certainty that a stray bullet was going to kill one of us.  haha.  The good news is that Dexter is so deaf they didn’t bother him at all.  The other good news is that he is starting to understand that the vibrating collar I got for him means it’s time to check in when he feels it against his neck.  I press the remote, he comes to see what the f*ck I want now, and he gets a cookie, which he likes very much.  I hope this means I won’t lose him on hikes anymore!

Wootie is probably going to need one at some point too, though right now his biggest problem is his sad tail.  He got limber tail a few days ago, no idea why … it’s definitely getting better now.  It was a very sad thing to see The Flamboyance(tm) at way less than half mast.  It’s like it was mourning itself.  But today it’s operating at about 3/4 of full power and he almost wagged it for me.  Of course, he doesn’t need a full Flamboyance(tm) to pose pretty for photos.

Actually he kind of does … it was a bit painful if he sat the wrong way.  It took some convincing to get him to sit for the obligatory group photo.  Notice I got Silly in this one (though he is gazing off into the distance, where he wished to be running), but Maisie is still a work in staying progress.  Maybe next time.

(TWooie also doesn’t hear so well, but he is happiest when plodding along at my heels, so I don’t ever worry about losing him)

These three are very good at entertaining one another at least, which gives me a bit of a break, if not peace and quiet.  Their three-ways are extremely.loud.

This evening I finally put this face, as well as the rest of her, outside with a beef marrow bone so the other dogs could have a break.

Did they take advantage of this downtime to have a relaxing nap?  No they did not … they stood at the screen door and watched her chew on her beef bone, and complained about not having one as well.  Can’t win for losing!

I’ve been working on using my strobe outside, in my quest to capture the elusive perfect sunset shot.  I gave it a whirl with Fae last week – I think I have mentioned before that the sun sets not in the direction of the lovely pastoral vista that I epsy out my window, but rather it sets on the other side of the parking lot, with a background of oh-so-charming portapotties.  But sometimes the setting sun throws very nice pink and orange at the clouds in the other direction, which reflect the colours and it looks quite nice.  I was hoping for one of these evenings, and instead, as I set up my lights and such, the weather snuck in the start of a thunderstorm and I looked up to see a most ominous sky of ragey looking clouds instead of pink ones.

I still think it worked though, and I was pretty pleased with the end result!  Especially as the wind had picked up and was trying to blow my light over, so I did some very impressive yoga to keep everything upright and get this image.

However … I still wanted a dramatic sunset photo.  So it rained for the last week because OF COURSE IT DID.  But then last night Mother Earth smiled on my creative efforts and gave me this.

And I like it.  Some feedback from fellow photographers was that the sky needed to be exposed a bit more, and I get what they’re saying, but I actually wanted it to turn out more in this vein, so I’m okay with it :)  Also I found an errant patch of grass in the parking lot to help me complete my mission,

It’s a toss up between that image and this one for which I liked the best.  I’ve been trying to get this starburst sun image for a while and when I finally saw my opportunity, I made poor Dexter stand still for an obscenely long time until it was in the right position.  He is SOOOO patient.  I am a lucky woman.

Also really glad I got my lazy butt out of my recliner to try these last night, because the sky tonight is cloudless and the sunset far less dramatic.

I’d love to do these for other people, but I am limited in locations by the need for a power source.  “Come to the parking lot!” is not a good sales tactic ;-)

Now it’s time to take this face out for bed time potties.  I will leave you with this parting image so that you can dream about adopting her!

 

 

 

Why Is It Raining?

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Its June.  Last week we broke all kinds of records all over BC for heat.  Today I had plans to hang out with Auntie Michelle … outdoors of course.  So naturally, it’s been raining since before I woke up.  Harumph.

Good thing I took photos yesterday I guess :)

This is for all y’all that think little FaeFae is so sweet.  *This* is the Fae I know and shake my fist at regularly.

Fae, sit next to your sister and pose for a cute photo.

“I don’t wanna.  She makes me look fat and I hate her.”

That’s cuz you are fat, Fae.

Fae looks like someone dropped a cocktail weenie on the carpet – sausage-like and hairy.  You know, if a bespoiled cocktail weenie could be emo.  And to be fair, Addy makes pencils look fat.

Fae was much happier once I busted out the ball and focused ALL OF MY ATTENTION ON HER.  That’s the way the chubby little princess prefers to live her life.

And I have to admit, she is *really superduper adorable* when she gets the zoomies.

My narrow little Addypants is also pretty darned adorable, especially now that she appears to be housetrained! (Lousy / cold /wet weather will remain the ultimate test of her new super hero abilities, of course).  The other day she actually *asked* to go outside and pee.  I near about fainted from the shock.  It would appear that the anti-pee-pee-pants I humiliated her with have served their purpose, and shamed her into holding her bladder in the “house.”

Saying “house” is a habit I can’t break.  Like “frisbee” for disc and “Kleenex” for facial tissue and “Flamboyance(c)” for giant fluffy dog tail.  And to be honest, most of the time it doesn’t feel much different from living in the small house I spent 8 years at.  Except for a few things, like …

It moves.  Not, like, it goes on vacations, but rather it lacks a foundation so it bounces and jiggles.  My desk is located in the big slide out and every time I move in my chair or a dog walks past, we sway and wiggle around.  I’m pretty used to it now, but I’m curious to know how flexible this place is going to be when the Big Winds come (cuz I’m smack in a wind corridor that whistles down through the pass, so all winter long it’s going to blow straight at my house.  I mean rv.)

Living in this thing involves an unhealthy amount of attention paid to liquids.  It of course has holding tanks, for the galley (kitchen – why is it called a galley?  I’m not on a fucking boat!) waste water and the grey water from the shower and such.  The tanks fill up reasonably quickly and require emptying, because if you don’t empty them, they will back up into your rv, which is all around bad news.  There are sensors in the tanks and you can check their levels on a little panel in the kitchen and I feel like I’m checking it every 20 seconds, I swear.  And, distastefully, the “other” tank, cuz …. ewww.  And as it costs me $125 every time that needs to be emptied, I encourage my guests to go use the portapotties by the agility building instead ;-)  haha, just kidding.  Maybe.  And of course the propane tanks levels, which I have to go outside to check.

There’s nowhere to put SHOES.  These rv building people think of pretty much everything, I have to admit … but I guess they think people going on vacation are going to be barefoot, because there is simply nowhere to put your shoes when you take them off.  So my shoes end up getting kicked all around the place by wrestling dogs.

All in all, other than the bedroom, which remains irritatingly small, with 100% NOWHERE to put my laundry basket, it’s not so different from living in one of the many bachelor apartments I’ve rented over the years.  Dexter and TWooie would disagree though, because they don’t like each other and feel that more rooms would be better.  Ironically, they both want to hang out on the bed in their down time, and I spend a lot of time yelling “Shut UP” at them as they growl and make snappy ugly face at each other from opposite sides of the bed.

Not that either of them hear me.  We all know that Dexter is as deaf as two doornails, and I suspected the WooTWoo were becoming hard of hearing in their old age (hard to tell though, because neither of them have ever been what you’d call “super obedient”) and yesterday it became quite clear just how much hearing they’ve lost.  I set them up for this photo, told them “stay” and then got into position to shoot.  Once I’d gotten the sitting portrait I told them “break” so I could get a photo of them running toward me.  Then I told them “okay.”  Then I told them “guys, come on!” and they both just sat there staring at me because they couldn’t hear me.  And I was only about 20 feet away :(  Why my special little guys gotta get old?  I had to actually walk up to them and tell them “break” from about 5 feet away before they’d move.

These two … are ridiculous.  As usual. And I swear Winter’s head isn’t as big as it looks.  I mean how could it be, he’s got almost nothing in there with respect to brains!

But it never fails; his melon always looks genetically modified in photos.

Here’s an obligatory photo of Peetie because she lives here so I have to photograph her.

Just kidding, she’s actually a lot less irritating than she used to be and is somewhat lovable now.  Mostly.  She still has some irritating habits, like biting her siblings at dinner preparation time, and I still hate practicing agility with her because she still spends all her time staring at my hands and crashing through obstacles rather than looking where she’s going, but otherwise she’s chilled out considerably.

These photos are all posed because we are still not fenced.  There’s still a pile of crap (dirt, logs etc) smack in the middle of where the yard will go that needs to be moved with tractor before I can put the fencing up.  I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to letting the dogs run around all together rather than two at a time.  On Regionals weekend, since I wasn’t entered, I knew the agility building would be dead empty all weekend, so I left the door open and let the dogs come and go in their xpenned area … and espied my cat Cyrus strolling around up by the front of the parking lot!!  He always comes home, but that’s not a habit I can let him get into because not everydog who uses the agility building is cat friendly.  So no more leaving the door open!

I will say though that having to set up my shots makes me take them more carefully; I can be quite lazy when photographing my own dogs, but I’ve been “working” our backdrop and I’m pretty pleased with the results.  Especially when the subject is my extra handsome special guy :)

On a whim, I even busted out one of my strobes the other evening and took this awesome sunset image.  It was totally a last minute decision, so I just used a bare strobe with a reflector rather and didn’t dig out the softbox or anything.  The sun sets in the *opposite* direction of the beautiful pastoral vista I look at (of course) but sometimes it throws back a gorgeous pink reflection on the clouds in the “good” direction … not that night (also of course).  So I made do with shooting in the actual direction of the sunset, and despite the gravel parking lot, I am super happy with how it turned out!  Look at that sky!!

I’m saving up for portable strobes, because mine are for studio and have to be plugged in, but portable ones could go ANYWHERE and then I shoot ANYWHERE and I am so damned excited about the possibilities!!

I just love photographing dogs so much, I wish it’s all I ever had to do to make a living.  I have had some pretty awesome sessions this month and all it does is make me wish I had more (I do have more, but I mean MORE MORE.  All the time more).

I mean … come on.  Puppies.  First day home puppies.  Floopsy faced squishy boxer puppies … in lavender.  Come ON.

And how about a Frenchie in a FREAKIN’ BOWTIE??  How many people’s jobs involve formally-attired flat faced doggos??

And I made this flower crown for this frenchie, because she couldn’t be outdone by her handsome date.  Folks, I bought a glue gun.  THERE IS NO STOPPING ME NOW!!

I also took advantage of living next to an agility building to take some uncluttered agility shots with the beautiful green and blue backdrop available right outside the door.  I’m hoping to offer individual sessions for people looking for specific shots on specific equipment without all the trial crap in the background, because I’m so pleased with how it worked out.

I also got a remote trigger so I could try some nifty angles.

So I’ve been keeping busy, indulging my creative side.  I am already planning my Christmas sessions because I have some really good ideas for what I want to offer this year, and I want to be well prepared :)

And the sun has come out, so we’re going to head out and take advantage of the un-rain!  Happy weekend everyone :)