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dogs in hats

Dashing Through The Snow …

December 26, 2017 By The Food Lady 7 Comments

This is the kind of snow I like!  Sure it’s cold and stuff, but it snowed one big-enough dump to make the world fluffy and pretty, but the roads remain clear and driveable.  My landlord plowed my driveway so I can get up and down it, and the dogs have fun in it*, but it has not trapped me on my property.  All good things!

(*Addy doesn’t have quite as much fun in it.  Yesterday I took everyone out and she complained mightily that despite a sweater AND a winter coat, it was intolerably cold and she was miserable.  So I put her back in the house with a chewy which made her happy for a while, but then she decided that everyone was having fun without her and she was intolerably lonely, so she yapped and howled her little head off until I went inside, redressed her and brought her back outside.  Lather, rinse and repeat.  I love my little fair-weather diva, even if she does turn her nose up at warm clothing, and then turns into a ridgeback when she goes without it.  I have no idea how she manages this with no hair!)


I bought her an adorable little turtleneck sweater at the feed store, because it was only $10 and because it was long enough to cover her bum and the neck flips up to cover her throat. I thought she would appreciate the warmth.  Instead I just walked past the bedroom and found her naked under my covers (heated blanket is still on!) and her turtleneck in a tiny heap on the floor.  I don’t know why she is so allergic to clothes.

But she is not allergic to COOKIES, which is convenient for me, because I did a fun little session with my doggies where I put one in a sit stay and then threw a cookie at them so I could capture the moment before and during the leap for the cookie.


There were a lot of photobombs until everyone figured out they’d each get a turn.  But some of them turned out awesome!

I like this one of Wootie; I even caught his curly orange locks in motion just as he was preparing to “leap.” His actual leap was more of a faceplant, but the pre-leap was pretty adorable!

I didn’t get any of his brother, because he would sit and watch the cookie land, then haul his fat arse out of the snow and saunter over to consume it as his leisure.  TWooie does not believe in wasting perfectly good energy.

Winter was adorably frantic.  The one uppy ear is his anxiety tell.   WHATIFTHECOOKIEDISAPPEARSOHMYGODOHMYGODWHEREDIDITGO?WHYWOULDYOUTHROWACOOKIEAWAY???

And then the mad scramble to get the cookie before the snowmonsters gobbled it up.

Springaling looks like a fox pouncing on a hare in a nature documentary.
(Yes her nails are recently trimmed.  No, after all these years, I can’t get them any shorter than this!  She has the world’s longest quicks)

Fae won the whole day though.  As if her obsessive tracking of the cookie’s arc through the air wasn’t adorable enough …

… the “Meercat” pose that preceded it was KILLER cute!

She may be a rotten, spoiled, hateful little beast, but man is she ever cute.  I went to my parents’ for Christmas dinner and when I came back home, Fae practically turned herself inside out with glee.  She kept trying to scale my body to get at my face so she could lick it, but when I picked her up she was so excited she would thrash around and hurl herself to the floor.  I was afraid we were going to end up in the Animal ER if she kept that up, so I eventually just sat on the floor so she could reach my face.  Unfortunately, I sat in Piper pee, because old dogs and continence aren’t always super good pals.  Merry Christmas to me!

Speaking of cute … a friend of mine is fostering 7 border collie X whippet puppies and asked if I could get some photos of them.  So brought the entire pile of the little suckers over on the weekend and I got to indulge in some serious puppy lovin’s!

Look at these impish little faces!  Also, look how lovely my landlord’s chicken barn door is for photos!

Also, look how they mob poor Addypants!

Addy’s not stupid though … she indulged in her favourite activity for a while (puppy humping – she channels Puppy Uncle Tweed sometimes) and then her second favourite activity, which is running away from puppies who cannot catch her speedy little self, and then she’d had enough of being mauled by puppies and she led them straight into a pack of Terrifying Turkeys which stopped them in their tracks so she could make her escape.

Our goal was to get individual shots of them and composite them altogether for a group photo.  I wish I had photographed them inside, because it was a bright sunny late afternoon and the sun and shadows change so quickly while wrangling recalcitrant 8 week old puppies that it didn’t turn out awesome, technically.  There is just no consistent shade on the property for this kind of shot at that time of day.  Not my best work, but still really flippin’ cute.

ALSO super cute … Mini Momz!  Why on earth has she not been adopted yet?  She is such a wonderful little dog.  When I woke up this morning she was spooning me, with her head sharing my pillow and her body under the covers with me.  She is SO MUCH LOVEBUG.  She can also convince ANYONE to play – even TWooie!  Even FAE, who has finally caved to her charms and has a good wrassle with her every afternoon.  I just don’t understand how everybody could not want her.  If I could, I would just keep her all for myself.


This guy is pretty cute too, although I am a little tired of virtually every photo I take of him being this Crazy Face.  He used to be such a charming poser when he was a pup … now in his middle age he is like that crazy uncle that makes rabbit ears with his fingers in every family photo.

Although he mostly behaved himself for our group Christmas photo.

And here’s Peetie.  I still have nothing good to say about Peetie.  The passing months don’t make her any less annoying, and there were no Christmas miracles that turned her into a pleasant-to-live-with dog.  At least she is consistent.

Now Christmas is over.  Living alone sometimes sucks because I didn’t get anything for Christmas as my dogs are lazy freeloaders without any spending money.  Got a little tired of seeing all the fabulous cameras and lenses and gear that people in my photo groups got from their families for Christmas, so now I’m staying away from facebook for a bit until I get over my snit about it.  Because inside me there is a 9 year old girl who really, really likes unwrapping presents.  What did you all get for Christmas this year?  I hope it was awesome!

Terrence got another pardon, so he thinks Christmas is fabulous :)

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Addy, big air photography, Dexter, dogs in hats, Fae, farm, foster puppies, Mr. Woo, Peetie, Piper, rescue dogs, snow, Spring, turkeys, TWooie, Winter

Welcome Back

October 30, 2017 By The Food Lady 7 Comments

No, not ‘welcome back’ to you … or even to me!  Although I *have* been MIA for a long time.  For a month now, pretty much all I’ve managed to do is wake up, edit, go to work, come home and edit until way too late at night, get a few hours sleep and start all over again the next day.  I had a Fun Match in the middle of September and then right after that an entire day of mini sessions, and then on the heels of that I had another day of mini sessions in early October and then I photographed the UKI Fall Cup the following weekend.  Just non stop shooting and editing – which I LOVE, don’t get me wrong!  If I could make my living doing nothing but photography, I would make it my full time career in a heartbeat.  But I remain perplexed about how people make a living out of doing pet photography without a financially comfortable partner picking up the bills-n-groceries slack in the background somewhere.  And doG knows my 4 legged partners aren’t pulling in the big bucks to support me!  This relationship feels a bit one-sided.

Anyway, as much as I love photographing other people’s dogs, it does have the extreme side effect of having no time at all to photograph my own, much less blog.  Plus, we haven’t done anything interesting to blog about, because according to my dogs I am “the most boring person in the world” and “my ass is glued to the computer chair.”  They aren’t too wrong either, except they omit the fact that they get to go hiking every day and until one of them learns to drive a car, they can thank me for that perk!  And also, blogging about how I’m in my office yelling “stop picking on the damn cat!” and “no we aren’t going outside yet, leave me alone!” isn’t all that scintillating.

However, I am almost entirely caught up on my deliverables and so despite the fact that I have a wicked cold that snuck up on me this morning, I thought I would take this evening to prove that I’m not dead, and have good intentions to blog more regularly again.  And also to welcome this adorable little face back to Casa de Food Lady!

Do you recognize that gleeful little snoot?  Miss Mini Mama has not been adopted yet :(  All her puppies found homes, of course, but Minnie remained at the rescue.  And when the rescue posted asking for foster homes for a litany of needy doggos, and I saw her name on the list, I offered to take her back to foster.  And here she is!  I think she’s pretty happy to be back (although she puked in my van today, so we are going to have to relearn not-getting-carsick) and I am happy to have her back!  She’s such a character; I can’t believe nobody has adopted this sweet little thing.

Not sure if my dogs are quite as happy to have her back.  They were just getting used to Alfie and Betty finally having gone back to their own home.  *I* miss those two, even if my hounds do not.  I do not, however, miss Alfie’s drool.

He is such a nice dog, but his copious amounts of drool is not nice at all.  You could always tell where he had slept in my house, because he left a Great-Pyrenees-head shaped outline on the floor in a mixture of drool and mud that is harder than cement and could be used to cheaply build affordable housing and maybe even roadways.  Even the steam mop can’t get that stuff up without scrubbing!  Also, the drool has found its way onto surfaces you would not expect, such as the microwave door and the top of my front door, thanks to the magic of head shaking, which causes the drool to soar higher than a commercial airliner and with a velocity previously only experienced by jet propelled spacecraft.  And we won’t even talk about what it’s done to the one window ledge where he would peer out if I left him indoors to go out somewhere (one afternoon he figured out how to push part of my fence down  – the shitty one that was already here when I moved in, not the awesome ones I put up myself! – and he went visiting the neighbours across the street, so he lost outside privileges if I wasn’t home to keep an eye on him) – I am pretty sure it’s eating through the wood itself.

However, while Alfie was here I lost exactly zero poultry to aerial predators, while my landlord’s poultry was picked off one by one (I swear he is down to just 5 hens).  And since he has been gone, I have lost two roosters (RIP Paquito), a hen and a duck.  If I could afford to feed an enormous dog, I would get my own LGD, he was very useful that way!  And I know exactly what’s been picking off my birds too.

Can you spot the bugger in my neighbour’s pine tree?

I’m not entirely sure what it is, some kind of eagle I guess.  I kinda wish I could catch it in the act and KICK IT, because that worked for the bald eagle that was stealing my chickens, maybe it would work again!

I still get to see Alfie and Betty three times a week because I hike them – last time I went to pick them up Betty was so excited to see me she pulled me inside the door by the string on my hoodie!  haha – but I miss having Great White around to protect my birds.  But as I say, my dogs were pretty chuffed to have me all to themselves again, when Mini Mama showed up.  TWooie just rolled his eyes in exasperation and hasn’t even bothered to snark at her.

(Happy place, counting to five, whatever)

The border collies were and are oblivious to her presence, because she is not a tennis ball.  Winter tried to play with her and then remembered that he was above playing with her, and now he and Spring are Mean Girls and leave the room when she enters it.  Addy of course made friendly overtures (ie she humped her) right away and remains delightfully pleased to see her all the time.  But Fae … oh Fae.

FIRST, Fae made ugly face at her and stalked around after her with Scorpion Tail, then got pouty and emo when I gave her shit for being a bitch, and lay down in her crate with her face to the wall.  If she were a human teenager she would have The Smiths or something blasting on her iPod whilst laying in her bed with her back to the door.  You know, I don’t need to experience being a human parent, I already own shithead toddlers (Addy), moody teenagers (Fae), and possibly some special needs kids (Dexter, Peetie).

Once she got over her snit, she decided she would make Mini Mama as unnecessary as possible by being The Only Dog I Need.  This afternoon she decided to play with Addy – she NEVER plays with Addy and is a downright bitch when Addy tries to play with her.  But today she was all flirty and trying to entice (a terrified) Addy into playing chase and wrestle – “look at me!  I’m the perfect small dog!  You don’t need anymore small dogs!” – and when that didn’t work, she was all “I’ll chase the ball, as many times as you want!  Don’t throw it for Minnie, throw it for me!”

But.
Whereas Mini Mama did this with the ball when I threw it:

Fae did THIS when she got the ball:

This is not a posed shot.  This is what I turned around to see when I wondered where she and the ball had gotten to.  Look at that stinky side-eye!  Look at that perfect blend of pouty/emo and possessiveness!  She is a master of The Beeyotch!  This is why I both love her and want to put her in the blender at the same time.

But I also love her because she makes photos like this:

And also because when I pretend to toss her a cookie, she makes faces like this:

Peetie also makes pretty pictures, but without the lovable bits.  She has nothing but super irritating bits.

Whereas Dexter has nothing but weird bits.  He is, truly, an odd dog.

 

Squirrel hunting season is over, and now apparently it’s rabbit hunting season again, so I never see the terriers as they spend all their time thrashing around in the pokies looking for bunnies.  I resent this, because they carry pokies home embedded in their skin and then shed them in my bed, where they become embedded in MY skin.  However, I can distract the terriers temporarily with cookies, at least long enough to get a decent photo of them :)

The Dirt Duo, on the other hand …

Miss Piper, who will be 15 years old in approximately 19 days (and will be exactly 30 years younger than me, which makes me feel old, especially since as of late I realized I cannot read my kindle with both eyes unless I hold it waaaaay far away from my face) has her good days and her bad days.  She has recovered very well from her FCE, except one of her hind legs drags just a little and she falls over very easily so I am forever yelling at the other dogs to stop banging into her.  She can’t come hiking anymore though … a couple of weeks ago Michelle and I took all the dogs for a walk out at Pitt Lake and while Piper managed really well, only getting super tired at the last little stretch, she can’t handle being in the car at all.  What started out as some mild anxiety and panting/drooling in the car has morphed into a full blown panic attack complete with thrashing around and screaming.  So her fun-outing days are over, but on the plus side, when we go hiking she gets to stay home with a Kong full of wet Kangaroo food (gross). Although if Peetie KEEPS EATING THE ACTUAL KONGS, that fun pastime will also have been ruined for poor Piper.  Stupid Peetie.

Piper still plays ball though, by which I mean she totters around with her own ball in her mouth while the rest of us play fetch, and she is made happy by the illusion that she is playing ball.

And there you have it, you’re all up to date on what’s going on with us!  Now that the weather has mostly turned shitty (we had a couple of lovely days sandwiched between the daily torrential downpours which is now just called The Weather for the next 8 months) there will be less photo-ing of other people’s dogs, and more time for my own.  They are calling for snow this weekend, so I bit the bullet and went and bought snow tires, which I could not afford … but I can afford to not-be-able-to-leave-my-house-because-my-shitty-bald-8-year-old-tires-suck-on-regular-pavement-never-mind-snow-covered-pavement even less :(  I do have two photo projects for this winter lined up, one being my annual Holiday Photos with a *twist* this year that I am really excited about, and one being a project I am working on with rescue that I am also really excited about.  To be successful in the latter venture, I need to master my studio work (which will in part involve selling my current lighting and replacing it with something more suited to my needs – anyone interested in some monolight/strobes?) and to that end, I have begun practicing.  In honour of Halloween, I leave you with this image burned into your brain forever.

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: big air photography, Dexter, dogs in hats, Fae, farm, Mr. Woo, Peetie, Piper, rescue dogs, Spring, TWooie, wildlife, Winter

A Holiday Carolling Mash Up

December 24, 2016 By The Food Lady 15 Comments

On the first day of Christmas, The Food Lady gave to me ….

an apple.

And it’s great.  No really.

Dashing thru the snow, on three legs Winter goes …

Until he saw Woo’s apple and said “whoa, whoa, whoa.”

(If I could explain the superstition / ritual behind “Winter can only eat an apple whilst standing on three legs” I would.  But I can’t.)

Fae bells ring, are you listening …

Battle-collies are positioning …

It’s a beautiful night

For a borderjack fight ….

Eating apples in a Winter Wonderland

Do you Ear what I Ear?

Hark the penguins ball food umbrella snot cookie

(C’mon, Piper’s getting a bit old to remember lyrics)

T’was the night before Christmas

And the doggies were hopin’

That cuz I made them wear hats and posted it on the internet,

Tonight I’m sleeping with one eye open.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :)

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Addy, big air photography, Christmas, Dexter, dogs in hats, Fae, farm, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Peetie, Piper, Spring, TWooie, Winter

Guess who had a birthday today??

May 6, 2014 By The Food Lady 19 Comments

You get one guess, so make it a good one!

I’ll give you a little hint:

That’s right!  My boy Tweed celebrated the big One Four today.

He wanted a pawty, and because he is 14 and gets whatever he wants, that’s what he got!

A whole bunch of his friends came to help celebrate.

But only Tweed got to eat the cake.

Just kidding.  He was very generous and shared his cake not only with his doggie friends, but also with the shelter dogs.

And what a freakin’ AMAZING cake it was!  I mean how many dogs can boast a truly personalized cake?  I almost called this entry “Tweed on his 14th birthday” because he really IS on his 14th birthday (cake)!

Tweed’s friend Mia made this cake because my cake decorating skills are on par with my rocket building and alligator wrestling skills (ie, skillz – i don’t has them).  Mia has all kinds of talents (except baseball) and because she loves Tweed, she wanted to make him a special gift.  She could also make YOUR dog a special gift on his birthday or special day – if you want to know more, contact us so we can tell you more!

It was crazy amazing.  It looked just like him!

Tweed and I are amazingly blessed … we have had 14 wonderful years together and doG willing, many more left.  I work with a fabulous group of people and a boss who let us have a party for Tweed at work.  We have fun and wonderful friends who helped us celebrate.

And we have a beautiful family to share our lives with.

Happy Birthday Tweed, handsome boy!  You’re the icing on my cake, Tweedles!

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Addy, big air photography, birthday, Dexter, dogs in hats, Ender, Gemma, Mr. Woo, Piper, rescue dogs, Spring, Tweed, TWooie, Winter

Sheer Heart Attack

April 5, 2010 By The Food Lady 28 Comments

Why?  WHY does Wootie hate me so?  Why is he trying to make me drop dead in terror?
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This, my friends, is Wootie chasing a coyote this afternoon at the dykes in Maple Ridge.

You will all please keep in mind that this was shot with a telephoto lens and is heavily cropped.  What I really saw was more like this – but STILL shot through a telephoto lens, so imagine it even freakin’ further away.
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Lord have mercy on my now sold-to-the-devil soul.

Why was Food Lady taking photos of it instead of trying to catch him, you ask?  Well – YOU try to catch a Wootie on the move, who is a whole football field away.  All the screaming in the world did not stop him from sprinting after it as soon as he saw it, and by this point, I don’t think he could even hear me anyway.  The only thing I could do was stand there and pray to doG that the coyote didn’t glance back and realize Wootie was half his size, and decide to make him a snackable.

We tried to send the biggest dog in the bunch out to save Woo, but Tucker’s no fool.

Nuh-uh, I ain’t runnin’ after no stinkin’ ky-ote!
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And the one dog who can generally be counted on to run after strange canines with all his teeth showing?  Was he any help? Yeahno.
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Hate!  HATE HATE HATE!!  BAD WOO!
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What’s your problem?  I came back, didn’t I?
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There’s only ONE way to punish a dog this rotten.
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hahahahahahaha! And, you know, since we already had the bunny ears out ….

Happyplacehappyplacehappyplace
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Why am I being punished?  Why?  I didn’t chase any coyotes!
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Why’d you spring me from the shelter just to send me straight to Hell?
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Predictably, TWooie was a buttface on our walk, so he spent much of it on leash.  He made several credible attempts to bite both Tucker and Nyxie, but wisely steered clear of the Blind Landshark.

I can’t see him, but I can still fit him in my mouth.
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I may be a jerk, but I’m not STUPID.  You’re stupid.
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However, back at Jenn’s house, TWooie was remarkably content to let Nyxie and Dexter wrestle (which they did, for about 4 straight hours) without being inclined to interfere or boss anyone around.  As a reward, he was allowed to be in the Bunny Ears Family photo.

Yeah. Super. Thanks.
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(As an aside, if you have a friend who doesn’t bat an eyelash when Dexter and Wootie get up on their kitchen table, consider yourself blessed.)

Maybe next time you’ll go save a little brutha in need, Tucker!!

I’m so ashamed.
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Happy Easter :)
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Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Dexter, dogs in hats, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed, TWooie, wildlife

It’s My Party

May 6, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

and I’ll look goofy if I want to!

Today a miraculous thing happened.

Tweed turned NINE YEARS OLD. 9!!! ZOMG!

And I he did it without me throttling his evil little red neck too. At least, not fatally.

Australian Shepherd people tell me that it takes 3 years for an Aussie to grow a brain, and 3 more for them to figure out how to use it. “And add a couple more years if they’re boy Aussies!” they squeak cheerfully. Oh brother. I thought the border collie half of his brain would have kicked in sooner, but I was wrong.

Just a little less than 9 years ago, a rescuer in Washington State sent me this photo:

Gadzooks! I was smitten. I had The Puppy Fever (and look what happened! Now you know why I don’t indulge in the puppy lust anymore).

But he sure was cute. He wuved his big brother Briggs.
And I had the handsomest pair o’ red collies this side of the Rockies.

Of course, Tweed is evil. For many years he has defied me, tormented me, sassed me, embarrassed me and generally made me pull out my hair on too many occasions to count. My friend Elisha commented on a photo of him recently, where he was cocking his head in typical Tweed style and said “he’s waiting for you to tell him what to do, so he can do the opposite!”

My friends know him so well.

But I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He is hilarious, ridiculous, willful, defiant, keen, scary-smart and a character like no other.

So to celebrate, I threw him a party. Complete with a cake made of ostriches. AND I PUT THE GODDAMN MR. PICKLES NEVERENDING PEEPS TO GOOD USE TOO!!!

This cake was made by the FeelGood Treat Company and cost me twenty motherflippin’ dollars at Tisol. Usually I get a personalized cake from ThreeDogBakery. I think next time I’ll go back to them, because their cakes are better. For starters – no chisel required to slice the thing, and I never have a pile of ostrich confetti in a ziploc bag after it thaws.

But the dogs did not complain.

NOM NOM NOM

Even though we made them wear a goofy hat before we gave them the cake.

This is not happening. This is not happening. HAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACE!

Even Sofa* got into the spirit of the party, with a little help from his dad.
*Sofa? YES! Because this big gangly puppy is everywhere, usually crashing into the back of my knees as he gambols around the office, and I end up sitting on him about 7 times an afternoon. And accidentally riding him around the office. So we have renamed him Sofa – a big, squishy, drooling fast moving Sofa.

But what kind of dog owner would I be if I didn’t torment my dogs with the cake first, for your enjoyment?

But pshaw. I do this every year. Time to shake it up a little.

Cue two more dogs to torment.
Tweed got a little anxious about the competition for the cake. Piper refused to believe I had the balls to do this. Sofa didn’t even understand why he was supposed to be there.

Yeah, it was good times.

BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

It’s not a real party until you bust out the whipped cream in a can!

hee hee!

I cannot believe my good fortune!

Turbo was having none of the hissy can of edible oil goodness, but he politely slurped some off Auntie Food Lady’s sticky fingers.

As for Sofa … oh the life of a puppy. This was Sofa’s first experience with whipped cream.

You want me to what?

Oh I get it! I get it!!

Epitome of a good party:

Yay! I like to rock the party!

Happy 9th birthday to my Special Little Guy!!

Here’s to 9 more great years! If I last that long.

For his birthday this year I am taking Tweed to the AAC Regionals in Campbell River on the May long weekend. Wish us luck!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: agility, birthday, dogs in hats, Koa, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

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