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Fifa

A Beachin’ Good Time

September 19, 2018 By The Food Lady 3 Comments

It’s a good thing “our” beach is almost always empty when we go visit, because upon arrival, this is what happens.  It’s total chaos.  And it’s like a 15 minute walk to the beach from where we park, so you’d think they have become at least somewhat blase by the time we get there!  It’s no wonder we’re social pariahs.

Usually the water looks like this – one long swimmable length of water.

But the other day there was, like, no water.  I don’t know what happened to it.  It’s not actually a beach on the ocean, it’s really just a sandy stretch along a slough.  It’s nowhere near an ocean.  So I don’t think it’s affected by tides … so where did the water go?

It’s possible that 125lbs of Alfie gallumping along its shores terrified the water into a hasty retreat.  He sounds like a herd of buffalo when he gets it into his head to cavort with his sister Betty.  It doesn’t happen often, but it’s pretty hilarious when it does!

Betty has taken to flirting wildly with Dexter lately, which is mystifying to me, as she was never much interested in interacting with him when she basically lived with me last year.  If it’s a mystery to me, it’s 12 times as mysterious to Dexter who, like an immature 12 year old boy, really doesn’t understand female flirtations.  Mostly what he does is stare at me whilst she wiggles under his chin, leaps up to smooch his eyeballs and then does somersaults under his legs trying to get his attention.  He is completely affable but unaware while she gyrates at him.

But all her clowny shenanigans does have the affect of getting Alfie excited, and he usually comes thundering over to play … and if Dexter remains oblivious to the 25lbs of butterball roiling around underfoot, he is NOT oblivious to the extra 100lbs running in his direction and he usually takes some offense.  This annoys and confuses Alfie and in the resulting melee, Betty slips away.  And I think she’s laughing.  She is one sly, wicked little shit-disturber!

Perhaps the pre-receded water had caught wind that these two devils were coming to terrorize its shores.

I miss the terrier-teeth-play of these two, it doesn’t happen often enough, maybe because they’re both getting older.   Or maybe because when they try to play like this, someone (*coughMAISIEcough*) gets involved and despite the multitude of sharp and pointies between them available to drive off intruders, they don’t really like other dogs to get in the middle of their fun and they’re kinda emo about it.

Although occasionally they do gang up on her to teach her the meaning of the word “fear.”

Very once in a while, they will temporarily allow TWooie to cavort with them.  It never lasts very long, but that’s 100% okay with him, because he’s old and he doesn’t really have the stamina for that sort of foolishness for long anyway.  It is, however, 100% adorable.  After all these years, it still tickles me pink to see TWooie happy to play with another dog(s).

His brother rarely plays at all, with anyone, these days.  Sometimes I can get him to play a bit of fetch, or a short game of “I’m Gonna Get The Wootie Stick!” but it never lasts long either.  He doesn’t seem overly tired, or depressed, he just is more interested in snuffling around for possible dropped foodstuffs, or things to pee on.  I guess simple pleasures get more pleasurable as one ages.  However, I did buy him a new “Fifa”(tm) on the way home from the beach to see if I can’t rekindle some of our old joys together :) … provided Maisie doesn’t get involved, as she’s a “PLAY WITH ALL THE THINGS” kinda dog.

(Clearly he’s thrilled at the prospect)

(his tail still looks a little (okay a lot) sad, but notice it does have some wispy growth on it.  It’s gonna be a marathon growing session to the finish, I think)

Crazy Miss Maisie remains resolutely entrenched in my home and won’t go away because everyone who wants her so far hasn’t really been ideal.  I don’t think getting one’s sport dog from rescue is the cool thing to do anymore, so she remains unwanted :(

I decided after some thought that she is probably a Springer Spaniel mix.  I got a lot of sideways looks for that when I started saying it … you know, the “Food Lady’s making up whacky theories again” look.  You’re probably even doing that right now as you read this!

Then I asked a friend of mine to come over and evaluate her for some kind of sniffer dog job, because I personally think she’d be pretty awesome at it.  I placed quite a few of those kinds of dogs from the shelter (the sniffing-for-a-living kind, not the Springer Spaniel mix kind) and got a pretty good sense of what the handlers/trainers were looking for, and Maisie ticks off all their boxes.  So I asked my friend Teresa to come over and tell me what she thought.  First thing she said whens he met her was “Is she a Springer mix?”

Now, I think Teresa would know, since she owns and trained Angus the famous “C. Difficile” Springer Spaniel who makes his living sniffing out that nastiness in hospitals!

Anyway, Maisie ticked off all her boxes too, and apparently she thinks she’d make an awesome sniffer dog.  I find nosework stuff with dogs super fascinating *in theory* – I think it’s amazing what they can do with odour and how much they enjoy it.  In practice, I find it mind numbingly boring to watch – it was somewhat more interesting when it was “my” dog figuring it out, but not interesting enough for me to to want to do it myself with any of my dogs.  I think I’ve just been generally spoiled by sports like agility which have a lot of more instant and high octane gratification for my squirrel-like attention span.  Anyway, there’s been some interest in her for the sniffing thing, so maybe she’ll be famous one day too!

And speaking of agility, I have really super good intentions of going back to the sport, usually while I am laying in bed thinking about playing.  In practice, I can’t seem to muster up the energy to actually go train, despite living right next door to a big ass facility dedicated to the sport.  I do have a handful of dogs I could be playing with – Spring’s getting up there, but hey, Tweed won Regionals when he was 12, so it’s not like she’s OLD.  Fae is delightful to play with.  In my head, Addy would be great (in reality, Addy is a trainwreck.  Ha.)  And I suppose there’s Peetie.  Pesty, stares-at-my-cookie-hands-all-the-time Peetie.

I still want to try dock diving with Peetie.  I think she could be pretty good at it.  Cuz of all the leaping.

And I really do wish I had that sort of tenacious-trainer spirit to train Addy.  She is actually awesome at all the equipment, as she fears nothing and she’ll do it all (except weaves, we haven’t gone there yet at all) but her attention span is even shorter than mine.  We might simultaneously implode trying!

But she remains the cutest little thing that ever cuted or thinged.

In my facebook “memories” thing not too long ago, a memory of Dexter’s first trial came up in my feed, when he did a 15 obstacle Jumpers course in 15 seconds.  Oh how I miss *that* Dexter; before he started going deaf, he was such an awesome dog to play agilities with.  But I love the Dexter I have now too.  Often he rides along in the front seat when my van is full (seat-belted in, of course, airbag turned off) and I have inadvertently trained him stare deeply into my eyes and place a somber paw gravely on my arm, for which he is rewarded with cookies.  Now I can’t drive anywhere without his paw resting on my arm while he tries to mind-meld me.  I can only imagine what people think at stop lights.

Anyhoo.

I know I don’t take as many photos of my own dogs / blog as much as I used to, but the more I photograph for other people and/or events, the less time I have for photographing and editing photos of my own four legged furries.  There just aren’t enough hours in the day.  I’m going to try harder!  I do run outside to try and get sunset photos whenever the conditions are favourable.

Also, for those of you not on Facebook, I’m going to be putting out a 2019 calendar soon for sale.  This is the cover:

As soon as my print lab has the 2019 template ready, I’ll make one and video it for everyone, and then take orders.  It was a fun project, looking through so many old photos of my fuzzy family, those still here and the ones that aren’t.  I miss my old dogs.  I am so glad I have all these photos to look back on :)

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Addy, big air photography, Dexter, dog beach, Fae, Fifa, foster puppies, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Peetie, rescue dogs, Spring, TWooie, Winter

Bad News …

January 27, 2012 By The Food Lady 38 Comments

Dexter has rabies.

ha ha!  Just kidding.  Did I make your heart stop for a moment there?

Yippee!  I’m not rabid!

Today the dogs got a good work out in the Altheticism Competition on Food Lady Farm.

Dexter gets a B+ … but don’t forget, he’s coming back from an injury.  Okay surgery.  Whatever.

Spring gets an A.  Very impressive for a newbie to competition!

Wootie, of course, gets an A+.

It’s even more impressive when you think about the fact that he’s a lazy orange sausage of a dog.  He got extra points for throwing in fancy moves, like handstands, and sticking his landings.

TWooie, otoh, failed.

But he made up many points in the synchronized competition.

And speaking of the WooTwoo, some time back a friend sent me a link to a website about Max and Moritz, a German storybook about two very mischievous brothers written in the 1800s, and asked if they didn’t remind me – disturbingly so – of two dogs I knew.

Ah, how oft we read or hear of
Boys we almost stand in fear of!
For example, take these stories
Of two youths, named Max and Moritz,
Who, instead of early turning
Their young minds to useful learning,
Often leered with horrid features
At their lessons and their teachers.

*shudder*  Damn the Germans and their bad ass brothers!!

They’re scary.  I’m hiding behind Spring until they go away.

How long after neutering do you think it will take Dexter to put on a little weight and become a normal sized body, rather than just a giant head with some skinny legs attached?  It’s positively ridiculous that he can hide his whole body behind 19lbs of Springaling.

And speaking of Dexter … this dog makes me wish I could photograph sound.  I have never had a dog do this before, but when he is really excited he chatters his teeth together so loudly that he sounds exactly like a woodpecker.  I’m not kidding … I spent, like, a year telling people I had a woodpecker that visited my house until I clued in to the fact that the “woodpecker” only showed up when I was putting on my boots and Dex was stuck on the other side of the babygate waiting to be released out the front door, and I started listening a little more closely.  Does anyone else’s dog do this?

One thing I CAN photograph is pain.

Ow.

Food Lady, why you cry?

Ha ha ha!  That was so funny!  Ha ha!

Hee hee hee!  I laughed so hard I fell over!

Dude!  You gotta come and see this … Dexter knocked the Food Lady OUT with the Fifa!  it’s hilarious!!!

*shakes fist at sadistic dogs*  Clearly, they spend too much time with Gerhard.

I’m going to go think fluffy, happy thoughts now.

Hey cool!  You’re not dead after all.  Can I have a cookie?

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: big air, Dexter, Fifa, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, snow, Spring, Tweed, TWooie

They call me

January 5, 2012 By The Food Lady 11 Comments

Spring.

Except for Piper.

She calls me an obnoxious little usurping bitch.

And TWooie sometimes calls me “Get the eff away from me!”

But why do they call me Spring?  Oh hey, a ball!

Oh hey!  Another ball!

Wootie’s got some competition in the Big Air department!

And he’s pretending he doesn’t care.  Today he chose to stay earthbound, and demand – at top volume – that I kick his Fifa for him.

Wootie has some amazing personal qualities.  One of the lesser known ones is his ability to move his nose independent of the rest of his face, to an astonishing degree:

I’m thinking this is not normal.  I’ve never seen another dog who can move its nose around like Woo can, while his face remains stationary.  Can any of your dogs do this??

Sorry for the poor quality.  My telephoto lens is, ever so slowly, givin’ up the ghost.  The motor appears to be dying by degrees, so it’s becoming harder and harder to focus on action, especially if the light is poor (ie a grey day).  This is the perfect excuse to justify the purchase of a new, better telephoto (mine is something like 8 years old and has seen a LOT of action).  However, Dexter has eaten up all my new-lens savings.

I LOVE eating things!  Especially underpants!

Less than two weeks until the Big Snip … I scheduled his surgery for two days after the Cliffies trial, so we’d have one last chance to play before what I assume will be a long recovery from his very invasive neuter.

My very invasive WHAT THE EFF?!?!

Not a moment too soon either, I’d say.  My dogs have been very spoiled over the holidays, often coming to work with me en masse, or much shorter days alone than they are accustomed to, as traffic was so light that my commute was a lot quicker.  So on the first day back to work on a long day, with a heavier commute, I gather tensions were building at home in my absence, and Dexter and TWoooie engaged in what can only be described as The Great Pissing Match of 2012.

*Somebody* or somebodies (Dexter does not always act alone) lifted his/their leg on damn near everything in the house and claimed it for his/their own.  When he/they ran out of vertical surfaces, special attention was paid to dog beds, and I was gifted with some urine soaked cushions and one extra special deposit of a large dump in Spring’s crate bed.  Ah yes.  I have dogs WHY again, exactly?

When I walked in the door, I was greet by one face that was very defiant:

And one that was very nervous.

And then, once I’d scrubbed all the urine off the house, and did umpteen loads of dog bed laundry, and collapsed into bed, I was awoken at 3AM by the sound of shattering glass.  My floating shelf above the sliding door, which holds – held – my collection of border collie and sheep stuff, came loose from the wall and sent much of it hurtling to the floor.  Fortunately, quite a lot of it landed on the dog beds below, but some of it shattered into a kajillion pieces.  There is no joy in my soul that comes of vacuuming up glass and porcelain at 3AM.

I could tell you about chasing naughty TWooie through the swamp the other morning at 5:30AM as he chased a naughty beaver, but I think you get the idea.  2012 is not off to an auspicious start!

I’m going to my happy place now.

Or I could just go admire Tweed, blowin’ in the wind.

But actually I am going to agility class, to face the wrath of The Sadist.  Not that I’ve done anything specific to incite his ire, he’s just mean :)

Spring has taken Piper’s spot in class, as Piper’s knees can no longer take jumping.  Don’t tell her though, she’ll be heartbroken.  I bring her to class early and let her play on the equipment for 10 minutes or so, so she thinks she did something.

I don’t think she’s falling for it, Food Lady.

Shut up Woo.  Or TWooie’ll bite you in the pants!

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Dexter, Fifa, Mr. Woo, Piper, Spring, Tweed, TWooie

Itsy Bitsy, Teeny Weenie …

June 7, 2011 By The Food Lady 26 Comments

… chickens, who lay itsy bitsy, teeny weenie eggs!  I *heart* them!

My bantam hen, whom I assumed was a pity rescue from Animal Control and probably dumped after being past her egg laying prime, seems to be coming into her own.  Perhaps her and Kenny Rogers Roaster Rooster were actually just young ‘uns, because for the past two days I have an ever-so-small white egg in amongst the big brown ones.

One of my few girlie concessions is a fondness for miniaturized things, so teeny little eggs makes me clap my hands rapidly up under my chin and do a little happy dance :)

I was so pleased that I decided we needed to celebrate with some new-to-us Fifa.

My coworker Angela brought Mr. Woo a new Fifa after she heard about how much he loves to play with them.  Except this one is called a Mon Dial.

Is that french for GET IN MY MOUTH STUPID OVERLY LARGE BALL!!?

It’s true, “Get The Mon Dial” is a mouthful alright, so we still call it “Fifa.”

I don’t care what name you give it, it still means “I’m not getting off the porch until you stop kicking it.”

You’ll notice an absence of Tweed in these shots too, since he also refuses to play with Fifa.  You’d think after 11 years, he’d have realized that a kicked soccer ball is not in anyway harmful.

Then again … maybe he’s on to something.

But I don’t want to leave you Tweed-less, so instead I’ll use a reasonable facsimile.  This is Kiva, who is an older, redder Tweed, and he dem0nstrates how Tweed *would* look were Tweed present, and hiding from the soccer ball.

Kiva was getting some glamour shots done, for no reason other than he’s dreamy!

Phhhlllbbbtt on Kiva.  I believe we were playing Fifa?

Right, sorry about that Woo.  As you were.

The sun finally – FINALLY – came out to play this week.  At last!  I even got my painful, annual Regionals sunburn, albeit two weeks behind schedule.  I was so happy to see the sun yesterday that I don’t think I spent more than 5 minutes in the house all day long.  But that was probably because I was tackling the creeping buttercups, where are once again taking over.  It’s only been a week, for pete’s sake!  But they-‘re ba-ack!

It’s hard work to manoeuvre Fifa through the buttercups.  Please fix this problem!

This summer I took the radical precaution of shaving dog bellies.  I started with Tweed, since he has the undercoat of a sheep this year – that was a cold winter, and he grew the proper clothes to accommodate it.  Unfortunately for us both, he doesn’t enjoy having his matted belly brushed, so I just enlisted the help of a coworker and we shaved off all his belly hair.  The first time he laid down on a cool tile floor, he was mighty surprised, that’s for sure.  But now he seems to quite like it.

So then we shaved Piper, who kicked my coworker in the face a bunch of times … apparently vibrating machinery near her underbelly is not her idea of a good time.  But since Piper collapses sometimes in the heat, and my dogs are so not acclimated to hot weather this year, I am hoping that having a cooler belly will help with her endurance.

Judging from her long game of Fifa in the heat without collapsing, it might just be helping!

You didn’t shave my belly because I have no hair on it anyway!

Poor TWooie … his seasonal contact allergies paid him a visit at the same time the sun did.  His stomach is once again red and inflamed.  It must really suck to be allergic to the stuff you walk on and hunt in :(  I wish I could find something that helped him be less itchy.  Not only because I feel bad for him, but because I hate the sound of him munching and licking away at his stomach when he climbs onto my bed at night. Yuck.  Any suggestions?

Happy summer ya’ll!  We’re heading back outside to enjoy some more of this fine weather before I head back to work for the rest of the week.  But next week, fence building begins.  Oh yes it does – the evil plans to create a WooTWoo containment system are finally coming together!

I fear no fences.  You can’t fence me in!  I dismiss your efforts.

Way to stomp all over a gal’s ego, Woo.  Thanks a lot.  Harumph.

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: big air photography, chickens, Dexter, farm, Fifa, Mr. Woo, Piper, TWooie

Teamwork

July 13, 2010 By The Food Lady 29 Comments

I swear to doG, I did not set this up.  I was booting the soccer ball around in the yard for the dogs when it landed in the hammock/swing chair.  Totally an accident.  A happy accident that had me in fits of giggles.  The photos don’t do it justice, a video camera would have been much more useful.

What the- get out of there!
ddp-1-103

Need some help Mags?  I’ll hold it still from this side, you get the ball out.
ddp-1-104

Oh for crying out loud – do I have to do everything around here?
ddp-1-105

Here … you hold the chair still, and *I* will get the ball out.  Stupid lack of opposable thumbs anyway.
ddp-1-106

There, see?!  Teamwork!  We did it!
ddp-1-107

And then Maggie ran away with the soccer ball, leaving Wootie to feel unappreciated, and kinda ripped off.

I HATE THAT LITTLE PEST!!!
ddp-1-93

Well I don’t hate her!  I *heart* her!  She is such a neat little doggie.  I have finally, and reluctantly, listed her on the website for adoption but I tried to make her as unappealing as possible ;-)

And then, after thinking about it some, I decided that if I can’t have her NOBODY CAN!  So I decided the only thing to do was drown her.

AGH!  What are you doing?  Help help!
ddp-1-89

Stop it!  STOP IT!  You’re killin’ me!!!
ddp-1-90

ZOMG!  Would you STOP IT already?!?!
ddp-1-80

Don’t be fooled … Maggins LOVES the hose game!  She thinks it’s just da bomb and she is always begging me to play hose when I am watering my gardens.

She leaps.
ddp-1-84

She spins.
ddp-1-85

It’s always good for a chuckle on a sunny afternoon.  It also would have been better in video, but alas the only working video camera I have is on my crummy little point and shoot camera, and the stupid rechargeable batteries no longer hold a charge so it died as soon as I turned it on.  They are fresh out of the charger!  What’s up with that anyway?

Dex is trying to learn to like the hose game, because he is super jealous of the fun Maggie is having, but he’s just not quite there yet.

Hey hey hey – what the hell are you doin’?
ddp-1-78

Oh hold on, maybe this IS kind of fun after all!
ddp-1-82

Nope … no I changed my mind.  It’s not fun.  Take your hose and go the hell away.
ddp-1-102

I wish Piper would play hose … it would help get the dead fish stench out of her.  I washed her in vinegar, and then I washed her in lemon juice.  Now she smells like an abandoned fishing boat that someone ate a pungent lunch upon.  I even took her back to the beach yesterday but it made no difference.  She still stinks.  I guess it will just take some time for the smell to go away on its own.  She and Misty the Aussie, who got sprayed by a skunk, can have the Battle of Stink in class this week.

But you were all so quick on the draw with anti-stink suggestions.  Maybe you have some for the TWoo.  As you can see by this charming pornographic photo, we have a little belly rash going on:
ddp-1-91

Doesn’t seem to bug him – he’s not licking or scratching at it, but it sure looks uncomfortable.  I am going to assume he is allergic to something environmental, as nothing else has changed – he eats raw, no grains, and his proteins have not changed.  Maybe he needs to pop a Benadryl or something?

Stop pointing that thing at me!
ddp-1-83

Point it at me!  Point it at me!
ddp-1-81

Le sigh.  She’s such a little heartbreaker!

Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Dexter, farm, Fifa, Mr. Woo, rescue dogs, TWooie

Rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ …

June 5, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Another day as an unemployed bum, another dog beach to be conquered.
This time, it was Mud Bay in Tsawwassen. Miles and miles to go before I …. see anybody other than us and our dogs! It was totally deserted. Those Delta people don’t know realize good they have it! I think they should be forced to move that beach to Vancouver, where we promise to enjoy it every day.

We all met at the little park up the street. I arrived first, because I drive really fast, so had to wait a bit for everyone else. Tweed thought this sucked donkeys.

I would like my ball. Now.

Piper put on a one-dog play. She called it

Soccer ….

…Interrupted

To play her role properly, she had to puff up to twice her normal size, and also wear a fake Flamboyance ™.

Tweed was pretty happy when everyone showed up, and we finally could get down to some beachin’ business.

Joining us on today’s adventures were Auntie “Happy Dogs” Dove and her crew.

When you are a movie dog trainer, your dogs become insufferable hams. Whilst the other dogs are off doing dog-things, Mick and Riot work some camera lens.

She also has Flash AKA “Now You See Her, Now You Don’t”

Zoooooooommmmmmm

And the irrepressibly happy Muppet.

At least, he was happy, until he became the Person Of Interest for The Sofa

Where goest The Sofa, there too goest some Mad Teeth ™

They say dobermans are quite bright. I say they are wrong. The Sofa never learns. And he gets his face stuck in stuff.

He really just wants to be one of the gang

But everyone just tries to avoid him. Poor, pesty Sofa.

They wouldn’t even invite him to the threesome.

You can view this picture one of two ways.

Option 1: King Mick loses control of the frisbee
Option 1: King Mick storms in to gain control of the frisbee.

Mick prefers you choose Option 2, and pretends not to notice what order this photo came out of the camera in.

Humans in sandals + soccer balls = no fun for Wootie.

So he wished really hard that someone would play with him ….

And Tweed stole his soccer ball.

And now everybody is sleeping, and leaving dog-shaped piles of sand around the apartment. Shhhh.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Fifa, Koa, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

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