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hamster

The “hole” family

September 10, 2010 By The Food Lady 14 Comments

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These cement pipes are stacked at the back of my neighbours’ property and I have always wanted to photograph my dogs in them, so today I did!

You can see Mr. Woo believes himself to be at the very top of the family totem pole.
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Whereas TWooie is busy resenting his place at the very bottom (there is no nepotism in our family; Wootie did not promote the TWoo).
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Piper and Tweed are a bonded pair (and/or Piper wouldn’t get in a pipe by herself and/or leave her soccer ball).
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And the cheese stands alone.
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The alternate title for this post was “bUrrrrr”  Because Woo is full of them.
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Another week at work is done.  The days are long, because the commute is something awful!  It feels like everyone in the sticks is going the same place I am, every day.  But its worth it, because the job is really fun!  Yesterday I got to go on some ride-alongs with one of our Animal Welfare Officers to see what it is they do all day (besides criticize my painfully slow grasp of our complicated computer program).  One of the calls was to investigate a possible injured bird at a nearby off leash park.  We walked down the path and then suddenly this little fledgling pigeon came running around the corner “peep peep peeping” and ran, literally, straight into my hands, and then cuddled up to my chest.  Baby pigeons are supposed to be shy, but this one wasn’t!!  This is not him, but he looked exactly like this:

I dropped him off at the Burnaby Lake Wildlife Rescue Center on my way home from work, where he will be raised by volunteers and then released among other pigeons.

You didn’t bring him home for me to eat?
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Poor TWooie.  The past two weeks I have been bringing the dogs with me to work, where they hang out in their crates in the van.  I thought this was preferable to Race being crated for 11 or 12 hours a day at home without a pee break while I worked/commuted.  But TWooie does not like being at the shelter at all – perhaps the memory of living in one is a little too recent, because he won’t even get out of the van to pee when I take them out on my lunch break.  Poor little guy.  Also, one of the Welfare Officers thinks that TWoo gave him the stink eye once, and is evil.  I can’t imagine how anyone could think TWooie is evil!

(heh heh heh)
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I mean, it’s not as though he is The Great Horned Race:
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Mr. Woo, otoh, *is* evil.  Here he is cruelly imitating Piper:
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One ear up, one ear down.  Poor Piper – I wonder if her ear will ever stand up again?
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After a week of wearing pantyhose on her head (to keep her ear flat to her head: there are blood vessels very close to the surface of the ear, and if she shook her head with those stitches in, she could have developed a hematoma on her ear, so it had to be immobilized) she’s starting to heal up nicely.  It still looks pretty ugly though:
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One more week and the stitches come out, so she can go back to agility class.  Last night Tweed took her spot, and Dexter took Tweed’s spot.  For a total spaz, he is doing REALLY REALLY well.
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Our biggest challenge at the moment is his love of doing ALL THE EQUIPMENT ALL THE TIME.  He’ll take the teeter over and over and over again if I don’t watch him, or he’ll just go run his own course.  He absolutely loves the contact obstacles, and he loves praise, so every time we learn something new he wants to go do it a bunch of times in a row, or else he wants to get through it as fast as he can so he can go take a contact obstacle.  He’s so funny to run with!  The Sadist just loves him to pieces, and thinks he is so sweet.  Obviously, The Sadist does not read my blog.
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A while back I mentioned that I was kind of concerned about this Tweed-Dexter thing they’ve been doing on walks, but after some observation, I have come the conclusion that they both just really enjoy this game.  I holler “THIS WAY” and Tweed takes off after Dex, who runs like the wind but not *quite* fast enough to outpace Tweed.  Tweed goes in for the strike, and Dex throws himself on the ground and snaps his jaws at Tweed.  I was worried they were working themselves into an actual brawl, but on the few occasions where Tweed has made contact with Dex, Dex yelps and Tweed covers him in smooches.  Nobody ever seems to get angry, just Mad Teethy™ so I’m going to let them continue to play.
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It keeps Tweed young, and they both seem to enjoy themselves.
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I think.
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Tomorrow Race goes to his new home, just in time for my next foster dog to arrive.  I have to say, I really wanted a break after Race as I feel like I’ve had back to back fosters forever, and I wanted to concentrate on TWoo.  But nobody else seems to be able to take in a dog right now, so I have a 10 month old male coming to stay for a while.

Mmmmm …. fresh meat!  Even better than baby pigeon.
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Filed Under: Nowhere Particular Tagged With: Dexter, farm, hamster, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Piper, rescue dogs, Tweed, TWooie

Portrait of a fat dog

January 19, 2010 By The Food Lady 1 Comment

separated from the objects of his desire by both a fence, and Uncle Ruedi’s stock stick :)

Yes, Ruedi taught Wootie (weird, that rhymes) not to chase sheep!
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My camera is in the shop, hence the lack of updates. But I did want to let MC Hamster’s fans know that last night, he expired in his sleep :( He was old – like a million in hamster years – and it was his time to go.

RIP MC Hamster.
a0002

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hamster, Mr. Woo

Let This Be A Lesson To You

March 21, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

KARMA

If you are rude to your mop

You may fall on the floor

GRACE

Sometimes you haz it

Sometimes, not so much.

FACEPLANT!

Beware of imitations

Showing off can be hazardous to, err, gravity?

It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, dear readers! The problem is, my neighborhood is dullsville. So we went to Kits Beach to enjoy the sun.

And was it ever MY lucky day.

ZOMG! The Cute!

Every day can be made better by a cute puppy sighting.

Please to love me now? kthx

We even got to see some old friends.

Do your ears hang low

Do they wobble to and fro

Can you tie ’em in a knot?

Stop singing. Your voice makes me angry.

Piper needs to take better care of her Mad Teeth ™! That big gap is not very flattering. It’s where the one we had removed when it got broken by the caribiner used to live. The rest of her teeth are sharpened from years of chewing on everything that fits in her mouth, so giving her a cookie is like grabbing Edward Scissorhands.

Stop making fun of my sister. Got it?

It’s been busy busy here at the House of Three Woofs. We’re gearing up for the AAC Regionals in May, so we’ve upped our training to 2 nights a week. Of course, all practice areas are a kazillion miles away, so they make for looong days.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch …

Donut is still trying to eat MC Hamster

So she needed some “Corporal Cuddling“.

As soon as you let me up, you’re dead meat, lady.

Oh brother.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Wootie is full of fun! May your weekend also be full of laughs!

XO

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: big air, boston terrier, dog beach, Donut, hamster, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

Wanna Know How To Photograph A Hamster?

March 11, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Me too!
It’s frickin’ HARD.
LOL! I iz a blurry black bob and I’m eatin’ your baby cornz.


Seriously difficult.

Now I iz a blurry black blob and I iz eatin‘ your licorice.

(I am not above bribing the hamster with candy to stay still. So shoot me.)

So how do I photograph the little sucker anyway?

I have a deliciously wicked idea. It begins with you putting him in my mouth. What do you say, old chum?

Are you putting hamsters in our mouths?

I iz a blurry black blob sittin’ on my fat ass eatin’ your broccoliz. And I haz a baby corn tumour in my cheek.


W: Hamster?
P: I suspect she’s f*cking with us.

Tee hee! Photograph me if you can!

I am unimpressed with your executive decision to enact a moratorium on hamster mouthing.

Listen, are we getting hamsters or what?

Hai! I’m a BAD DOG!

For the first time in the history of my pack, we had a bone fight. I think. Something set it off anyway and Tweed unleashed on Mr. Woo and kicked the living shit out of him until he noticed me … and then he ran like his ass was on FIRE. Because he knows who does the shit kicking in this household, dammit! When he starts paying rent, then he can start some shit kicking, but as long as he lives under my roof etc.

I hauled him out from his super secret no-one-will-ever-find-him-in-this-one-level-condo spot under the bed by his stupid stringy tail and we had a wee chat about picking on people smaller than you, and now he is a big bag of submissive suck. But that was scary. We don’t HAVE dog fights in my household.

No worries for Wootie. In addition to being a big jerk, Tweed is also a crappy fighter. For all Woo’s screaming, there was not a scratch on him. Also, he has no attention span, so he immediately forgot what happened.

Wow that was really scary, I feel so – hey! Is that a squirrel?

Anyway … working with dogs for the last 15 years, I have broken up my share of dog fights. I once had a bitch that got into it with my housemate’s bitch and they put like 22 holes in one another in under 15 seconds. But my pack o’mines don’t fight. They make a lot of Mad Teeth ™, and Tweed grabs Mr. Woo by the nose like 8 times a day for no reason, but they never actually fight. They also don’t cuddle or sleep together or generally make physical contact in either positive or negative ways. How about your dogs?

And whoever is responsible for this snow … I’m sending Tweed over to kick the shit out of you too!


Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hamster, Mr. Woo, Piper, snow, Tweed

What are you, some kind of genius?

March 6, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment


Have you ever tried these contraptions for your dogs? The “Leos” by Canine Genius are tricky magical cookie dispensers designed to evilly toy with the K9 mind, or at least that ballcookieeatscritch space between their ears.

My dogs come to work with me nearly every day, and they sometimes get a bit bored, since I won’t let them answer the phone. So I dug the Leos out of the toy basket and brought them to the office for some doggie distraction.

Mmmm. Genius tastes good.

Woo may not be a genius, but he has a lot of sproing. He at least aspires to genius level.

Tweed is, simply, not a genius.

What?

Of my 3 dogs, only Piper has reached genius level. She can empty her Leo in about .071 seconds. Give her three minutes, and some Mad Teeth ™ …

… and she can empty Mr. Woo’s and Tweed’s Leos as well.

She says there are cookies in here.

Mrfghhh! Come out come out cookie!

Half a second before The Barkscream of Frustration that scared all my coworkers:

Piper really is a genius. She gets her entire lower jaw jammed into the “X” and then waggles the Leo around until all the cookies basically fall onto her conveyor belt of a tongue.

Tweed chases his Leo all over the office with his nose, hoping it will get scared enough to shit cookies.

Mr. Woo comes to me and whines – “remove cookies for Wootie consumption please Food Lady“- and Piper empties his Leo behind his back.

It’s a ton of entertainment. You know, for me.

But Wootie is a genius when it comes to being cute at lunch time.

Are you going to eat that?

I think he’s going to eat that. Bummer.

You’re a genius Piper. High five!

On another topic …

While I think it’s great that all of you nice people love critters great and small, I think it’s kind of less great that some of you assume the worst and feel the need to waggle your morality finger at The Food Lady. Listen folks, MC Hamster is in no danger from my dogs and I’m kinda miffed that anyone would suggest otherwise.

I suppose some of you have not figured this out yet, but a surprising percentage of my photos are – *gasp* – set ups for the purpose of the photo session. Contrary to what some of you might believe, my dogs do not wear hats all the time and/or of their own volition. They do not really see dead people. Mr. Woo’s tail did not actually come with its own name. To whit – “Hamster TV” is a convenient prop for some fun entries, but Hammy is never in any danger. Period. Full stop. End of story.

Hammy’s cage sits on a shelf that is not accessible by dogs; the doors are held extra-securely shut by clips I purchased for that purpose and the cage itself is bungie-corded to the shelf so that it cannot be knocked down by any beast.

When I take photos of the dogs standing on the coffee table staring at Hammy, I put a squeaky ball behind the cage to generate doggie interest for the photo ops. When Hammy is out in his ball, the dogs are in a downstay on the sofa and not allowed to touch the ball, or there is a babygate up. Piper put her paw on the ball ONCE for the purposes of the photo because I asked her “Where’s the ball?”. And my “small animal killing” dog Mr. Woo is the least interested in Hammy of the 3 dogs, because Mr. Woo is kind enough to know that animals that live in our house, like cats and hamsters, are not for consumption. My – ahem – ‘terrified’ hamster has, on his own steam, walked all over my dogs on the sofa and lived to tell the tale.

So please folks, rein it in okay? It kind of takes the magic out of the entries if I have to qualify that I am not an animal-killing sadist every time I make one. I adopted little hammyman because I wanted a pet that would fill up his funny little cheeks with enormous piles of food. I did not get him specifically to torment him, or the dogs.

Except, you know, for the one time I stuck him in the Canine Genius Leo and let the dogs go to town.
Kidding, kidding! Yeesh.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dogs in hats, hamster, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

I spy, with my little eye

March 2, 2009 By The Food Lady 1 Comment


OI!
A game of footie! (that’s soccer, to you American readers)

*Though the straits be broad and narrow, we’ll follow we will,
Follow we will, Follow we will.

Though the straits be broad and narrow, we’ll follow we will,

We will follow in the footsteps of our team.*
(Apologies to Celtic fans)

(Actually no. I take that back. I make no apologies)

Wuh oh.

Oh shit. RUN HAMMY, RUN!!

Nae worries. MC Hamster was in no real danger. After Piper tried to score a game winning goal with the hammy-ball, the dogs were ordered into a quivering collective of doggie down-stay for the remainder of Hammy’s evening on the town.

One-at-a-time hairy eyeball following was permitted under strict supervision

It was haaaarrrrrrrrrrd.
STRESS YAWN!

Oh doG. PLEASE LET ME EAT THE HAMSTER!

Because they were so good, and tried so hard, I rewarded them with a trip to the park.

Meh. Flying Squirrel is okay. But I shall stand here and reflect majestically upon the wonderment of Mister Hamster. I think I can smell him from here, actually.

Hai! Step 1) insert hamster on massive tongue scoop mechanism. Kthx

Even more challenging than the “Leave Hammy Alone” exercise for Piper is the “Relax With Your Hockey Ball” Game. Piper is genetically programmed for a high degree of tension.

What? I’m totally relaxed.

What the – is he looking at my ball??!

(supposedly ‘looking at her ball’)

OMG he wants my ball. I better grab it.

(la la la nom nom nom)

Okay okay, everyone calm down. The ball is safe. Wait … do I want that stick too?

HAI! Hamster Tongue Scoop getting tired over here!

*SIGH* Can we go back home to Hammy now?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: hamster, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

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