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Mr. Pickles

Pickle Pr0n

July 25, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

So ya’ll will stop whining about “Where are the Pickle pictures, the ones where he has his shirt off?” and stuff, and because I like to make you all happy, please enjoy some Pickle Pr0n.

(but if Mrs. Pickles starts taking names and kicking ass, don’t blame me! I’m still jobless and rapidly becoming broke, so if she tosses me a few dollars, I will give all ya’ll perverts up!)

Mr. Pickles decided The Sofa needed to learn to swim, so he donned some ocean going pants and did the deed.

All things considered, I do believe Sofa enjoyed being HURLED TO HIS DEATH FROM THE DOCK more than this experience. Oh the things a dog will do for a tennis ball.

Le sigh. Life was so much simpler then…

Fortunately, there was a lifeguard on duty.

I know this photo is out of focus, but for a moment when I was downloading I thought Red Dog had come back to pay me a visit. I took these photos about a week ago and had largely forgotten what was on the card or why I took them. It was too eerie not to share this, blurry or no!

Hey look at me! Look at me! I’m in the air!

Poor Wootie is feeling undervalued. We are at an agility trial all weekend and he is not getting the attention he feels he needs and/or deserves, since Tweed and Piper are running the show.

Harumph. My Food Lady went to an agility trial and all I got was this lousy dead stuffie.

Today’s star is Miss P, who got her first Advanced Jumpers Q!!

Yay, me! Wait, what?

This is no small achievement for Her Highness. Just a few short months ago, Piper did not understand the game of agility despite a year or so of lessons, and could not even navigate a series of more than 2 jumps. Today, she did 3 runs and the ONLY thing she garbled was her nemesis, the Evil Weave Poles. If it were not for weaves, she would have run clean every time. HUGE improvement.

Oddly, the weaves haunted Mister Masters today as well. Tweed ran a gorgeous Standard, but he bobbled the weaves – and he did it so smoothly that I, running right beside him, didn’t even notice! It was not until I reviewed the tape that I noticed his little shimmy-skip. Unfortunately, the judge noticed it in real time. We also played a new game called Challenge, which is exactly what it sounds like – challenging! And I am apparently challenged when it come to remembering the name of the Frame, because I called it “TunnelNONOImeanPlankNOIDON’TWhyCan’tIRememberWhatThisIsCalled?!!” while doing a little dance of frustration that messed us all up :) But he ran like stink. I am so very proud of my dogs!

We do so well now because MY INSTRUCTOR IS A SADIST!! I know I say that a lot. It’s mostly cuz he reads this, and it drives him batshit when I call him that.

Payback’s a bitch ;-)

He has a two lovely Aussies. There is the very handsome and masculine Cisco:

Who would like me to give him the cookie, and get my facebox all out of his bizness.

Get lost. But leave the cookie.

And Biscuit, who is darling. I love Biscuit, because when she gets mad at Gerhard, she bites him in the pants! Actually, I was a little worried she was going to bite me in the pants too. She doesn’t appreciate picture time.
I brought my camera today, but mostly just to get the odd shot, because I was too busy running to take photos. However, I did get this one of Calen the Beagle, and I am very very glad I did.
ha ha ha!!!

She is going to kick some serious ass in the handstand competition.

We’re at the trial all day tomorrow too. Come by and visit us! You can play with Noodles and the Wootie Toy, as he is ever so lonely…

And on your way, please come get these other cats. I hate them.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: agility, big air, dog beach, Donut, Koa, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Piper

Oh, the DRAMA

July 8, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Sofa is such a drama queen.

“Oh! You gods, why do you make us love your goodly gifts, and snatch them straight away?“

Yeah yeah. Tell it to the judge.

I am Cashew. I am the judge.

See how serious looking I am?

As you can see, Sofa has recovered perfectly from his near drowning of last week (:eyeroll:).

However, he has lately come to display a brand new behaviour that neither Mr. Pickles, nor anyone else at the park, appreciates. It’s kind of complicated, so I’ll see if I can explain it in simple terms …

Oh yes, here we go.
The Sofa is an asshole.

He has taken up a new hobby of being a randomly aggressive nincompoop and getting quick tempered with other dogs. As near as I can figure it appears to be a form of ‘possession aggression.’ The things he found valuable enough to aggress over today include: dad’s truck, a stick, my pocket (where cookies sometimes live) and occasionally whatever dog he was currently playing with. Normally the Sofa is a very goofy guy who enjoys playing games my dogs find abhorrant, like ear tugging and wrestling, grappling over toys and “chase me” games.

This is the “normal” Sofa, playing gently with an 8 week old Lab puppy (so cute, right?)

But as of just lately, he has been fighting with other dogs (never people) over resources and perceived insults. Is this common in dobermans? Is it a function of his oncoming maturity? Any suggestions for nipping it in the bud, so to speak?

You all were so helpful with the recall issue, maybe you have some insights for Mr. Pickles.

Who needs to GET OUT OF THE SHOT, PICKLES!! Yeesh. He’s as bad as Tweed!

Speaking of the recall, I was interested to hear all your suggestions and insights. Someone asked how The Food Lady would work on this problem, and I was sort of surprised that nobody offered anything similar to the approach I would take.

Liam’s recall issue is not a “fear” of coming when called, nor is it a communication problem – eg., it’s not that Liam does not understand his recall command, but rather that he chooses to disregard it in favour of his freedom. To me, this makes Liam a very smart dog – one who can make decisions on his own. But it also makes him a frustrating dog, especially if you’re in a hurry, or he escapes the leash in a dangerous situation. That’s why in my world, “come” is not negotiable*.

*unless you’re Mr. Woo. Because if you are Mr. Woo, you look like this and therefore, are immune to all directives:


Over the last decade, I have fostered a couple hundred border collies, and I have without fail taught every one of them a fairly reliable recall within about two days. And I have done this using the age old art of putting pressure on the dog.

Pressure is the language that a working dog understands. There’s a reason Open handlers don’t clicker train their sheepdogs – for centuries, shepherds have used pressure to make their dogs understand what they want and need them to do. When a dog is working sheep, he is putting pressure on the sheep, and the shepherd is putting pressure on the dog, and the dog is constantly adjusting his stance, pace and position in relation to the pressure of the environment he’s working in – gates, fences, escape routes, panels etc. Border collies are very sensitive to pressure of all kinds, and it’s pretty easy to make it work for you.

When I teach a dog a recall, I loose him somewhere and let him do his thing for a bit, and then I call him, ONCE. If he does not immediately respond, I then proceed to “walk the dog down.” Purposefully, and silently, I walk straight toward the dog – I do not run, I walk. I do not change my pace, and I do not get angry and I do not yell – I simply walk. If the dog goes left, so do I. If he skips off to the right, so do I. If he takes off in the other direction, so do I. I am relentless in my pursuit of the dog. But usually I only need to be relentless for a couple of minutes, because pretty soon, the dog always – ALWAYS – stops. Usually he lies down and waits for me to reach him. This is pressure – the dog feels the pressure of me coming for him, and succumbs to that pressure. Border collies were bred to be very sensitive to this.

When I reach the dog, I take his collar and say nothing. I lead him back to where I originally called him from, sit him down and look him in the eye, and quitely repeat “come.” Then I loose him again. Almost without fail, the next time I issue the recall, the dog comes flying back to me as fast as he can, to avoid the pressure of being “walked down” again. Then I throw a party for the dog’s success and rewards aplenty are issued – praise, food, a toy or whatever it is the dog likes.

I’ve found over the years that this only takes 2 or 3 repeats over 1 or 2 days before I can reliably have the dog coming to me on the first command every time. They are smart dogs, and they learn quickly how to avoid the consequence of not coming when called. I suppose that in the vogue of positive reinforcement, this would be something negative, but I have to stress that it is not punishment. My dogs LOVE to come when called, and they LOVE the praise they receive for it. But they instincitvely understand pressure, and yield to is appropriately, as they were bred to do.

Interestingly, toward the end of our photo shoot, Liam’s mum got annoyed with her dancing-out-of-reach wayward canine and without knowing she was even doing it, she walked him down. She walked him down straight into the Fraser River, where he sat down, and then he lied down, and then he walked up to her and did a *perfect* front-finish sit and let her put his leash on.

Oh Liam knows what a recall is, there have just been too many rewards for ignoring it, and not enough consequences for disobeying it ;-)

Did you call me?

You know, faces like this:

…do NOTHING to abate my puppy lust. NOTHING.

This one didn’t help either.

Oh and look what else I saw! An Irish Setter. I didn’t even know they made those anymore.

Thanks to you all who offered to help be Cataxis for a day to get Donut’s American cousins over the border. It looks like we have all the legs in place and as of Saturday night, the kitteny goodness will be upon us!

Donut has her own song (as do all my pets). It goes:

You’ve got kitteny goodness
So much kitteny goodness
You’ve got kitteny goodness
In those kitteny eyes!

I realize it makes no sense, but she likes it when I sing it to her. I think. It’s hard to tell with these damn cats.

I hope you’re all ready for some kitteh pictures!!

Also, on Saturday I hope to be in Laidlaw, BC (there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say!) at the ASC of BC Stockdog Trials. I’m hoping to take photos of Aussies doing their thang. There’d better not be any puppies there! Come on by if you’re in the area and say hello! The Trio Of Terrible will be with me. Mr. Woo wants to get in touch with his Aussie roots.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Donut, Koa, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Tweed

Bad, Mr. Pickles, BAD!

June 30, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Do you know what Mr. Pickles is doing in this photo?

Here’s a hint:

RUN SOFA, RUN AWAY OR HE’LL DROWN YOU!!

Poor Sofa. He did not run fast enough, so Mr. Pickles threw him in the lake!

I guess he was jealous of The Fantabulous Dock Diving Woo. When you see images like this:

You get The Envies. And then your poor Doberman pays the price for your wounded pride.

At least he hauled him back in again.

Which is something that Dougie the Jack probably wishes he hadn’t done, after he was subjected to The Sofa Experience.

Frickin’ doberman! I’m outta here!

Agh! Holy cow! Get OFFA me!!

(*borrows Piper’s Mad Teeth(tm)*)

‘Scuse me, but those are MY Mad Teeth(tm). How will I keep this ball in my mouth without them?

Piper has had no more episodes of drunk-walking / overheating since the last one, but I have been very careful to not run her in the middle of the day without access to swimmable water. Thanks for all the insight and suggestions about what could be ailing her! She’ll be going to the vet later this week for some bloodwork and an overall check up.

She also had a pretty good agility trial, and earned herself a Starter’s Snooker Q. It doesn’t seem like much – after all, she had 3 runs and only Q’d in one of them, but for Piper this is a BIG accomplishment. Not too long ago, she was so all over the place on the course that she couldn’t do more than a few obstacles before her brain fell out of her head and she became The Saucers-For-Eyeballs Tornado of Doom on the course. Thanks to the hard work of Gerhard (“Again, FASTER”) we saw some notable successes in our runs – she took almost every obstacle on the first try, instead of running past them in a frenzy, she held her start line stays reliably and she nailed her 2o/2o contacts every time. Good girl!!

Tweed had a beautiful Masters Standard run with a first place and a Q, but he did a faceplant in his Gamble opening and then sulked his way through the rest of the course, and didn’t want to do the Gamble. Poor old man :(

Speaking of things Tweed did not want to do … this included jumping off the dock.

WTF? Off THIS thing? You been smokin’ that crack, Food Lady.

Since Tweed would not jump, and Piper NEVER jumps, that left just the Woo to impress all the park goers with his sexy moves.

I am too sexy for this dock, too sexy for this dock …

SPROING!

Holy shit, the orange dog can FLY!

This presents a whole new crop of recall training challenges. Figures.

Even he seemed a little amazed by his new talent of flight.

Dude. Whoa.

This is awesome.

I’ll just fly home. See you there, Food Lady!

Yesterday I did a photo shoot for some friends out in Maple Ridge, and took photos of oh-so-many adorable doggies, but the one that stole my heart was this pittie, Sienna:

She was a rescue off a reserve here in the Vancouver area and she has the sweetest personality of all time.

And she gets pretty big air too!

Tomorrow I get to photograph some border collies, including Bear (now called Rhys) who will be up for adoption soon.

And I try to upload photos from every session on my Big Air Photography website within a couple weeks of shooting, so don’t forget to check there often for new pictures!

Oh and my little sister got married last week to her long time love. The wedding was a small ceremony of just family, and happened on Bowen Island (the site of the Very Bad Woo Runs Away adventure). Congratulations to my little sister!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: agility, big air, big air photography, Bowen, dog beach, Food Lady, Koa, mad teeth, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

A Flock of Seagulls

June 9, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Another episode of Life’s Lessons with The Sofa:
You can’t always get what you want.

In this case, you cannot “get” seagulls if you yourself do not have wings. That did not stop The Sofa from trying though.

Mr. Pickles had to go retrieve him, and was none too happy about it as he had to first wade through, and then RUN through, a bunch of water to catch his little miscreant. *I* was amused, and also impressed with how fast Pickles can run!

YES YES, female readers of TWAAW, Mr. Pickles is indeed wearing a shirt in this photo. I can hear your collective laments from here. But never fear, he soon removed the shirt. Going to the beach with Pickles is liking going to the beach with a toddler – he just can’t keep his clothes on.

Speaking of not always getting what you want, here’s another life lesson for you – if you do not meet the requirements in an adoptable dog’s profile, and you choose to apply anyway and get denied, who’s fault is that? Really now. People. You can’t always get what you want. That includes rescue dogs, so please, read the profiles BEFORE you apply. If you are denied for not meeting the requirements, have some grace. And FTR, lunacy and vulgarities are not the same as grace!

And speaking of rescue dogs, on today’s adventure we were joined by the ever blossoming Sky Dog.

Sky was one of the Yakima 7 we saved a few months back. Sky was the one who was pregnant, and having some troubles adjusting to her new life as a family pet. Her foster home turned out to be too chaotic for her maybe, and her stress levels went through the roof! So we moved her to a quieter foster home, and got her started on an anti-anxiety medication (Clomipramine).

Do you think it’s working?

Sky’s foster mum is out of town, so Sky is boarding at the kennel since we had nowhere else to put her because Sky has some special needs due to her anxiety. It’s only for 3 days, but I felt so guilty that I couldn’t take her (because my neighbors include Satan, Satan’s Wife and several of their minions) that I have been trekking out to the kennels every day to take her on beach and hiking adventures.

Today it was Spanish Banks, and the tide was out. Way out.

Sky learned to swim today! It was not entirely on purpose, as she didn’t seem totally aware that “water” and “sand” are not the same substrate.

But she’s a smart cookie.

She figured it out really fast!

Sky is coming along so nicely! She is still scared of strangers, but she also really wants to meet them very badly as she LOVES affection. It’s sad to see her frightened of the thing she wants most, but it’s so rewarding to see her coming around, thanks to the anti-anxiety meds, a strict routine of asking her to explore her own independence sometimes. She has met lots of strangers in the past couple of days and has even started to approach them when asked. She is going to make someone a GREAT dog one day soon! She is so willing to try.

For example, she was willing to try Mad Teeth ™ on a pesty doberman puppy.

it worked!

Sofa’s obsession with Sky left Tweed free to play ball without having to get up all in his face, yo.

Piper was not so lucky. She was ever-shadowed by Guess W(h)oo?

Dunh dunh duuuunh

WTF? This isn’t a ball!? I’m not bringing that back.

Maybe you’d like to throw the ball for me instead??
*bats eyelashes*

Thank you, rescue lady!

Sky will be going up for adoption soon on our website, so don’t forget to check back for updates!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Koa, mad teeth, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

My, what big PEEPS you have

June 2, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Err, I mean, what big FEET you have.

I mean … oh forget it. This is sick. Who does stuff like this?

And even worse, who RUINS stuff like this?

Oh yeah of course. Wootie. Don’t deny it Wootie. You don’t have a leg to stand on. har har.

What.


That’s right folks. The GODDAMN NEVERENDING MR. PICKLES PEEPS are still lurking around my house. STILL. Mr. Pickles told me that if you keep them in a dark cupboard, they multiply. I now believe this is true.

But the dogs are eager to do damage control.

OM NOM NOM NOM!

All that’s left for poor Donut is the feetsies.

Your Food Lady must have done something terrible in a past life, because she is, once again, unemployed. Le sigh. I haz bad luck with non profits.

On the upside, I haz loads of free time to wander around aimlessly from dog beach to dog beach. And I have decided to take Mr. Pickles and The Sofa with me everywhere I go. Today it was Spanish Banks.

Where The Sofa …

…tried to overthrow The Flamboyance. Literally.

It all started with a Kong War.

They were evenly matched.

But poor Sofa stood no chance against the Power Of The Flamboyance!!

Look at it go! It’s like a superhero, and it expands in mass and volume when required to perform! I swear the sky darkened for a few moments there.

The Sofa lost interest in the Kong Wars, and moved onto some Bitey Face Smackdown with a Golden Retriever.

And then, because he has the attention span of a toddler on acid, he just, you know, wandered away. When the plaintive calls of Master Pickles failed to make him return, Pickles took action.

And Mr. Woo followed along, because he likes to watch.
^^ Mr. Tricky “I like to watch” Woo.

And now Mr. Pickles has a new nickname.

I dub thee: Sir Scowlypants!

Once dragged back to the beach, the Sofa was properly cowed by his scolding.

Or, maybe not.

YAY! DUH!!

Hey! Have we met? Let’s WRASSLE!!

*sigh* Stupid puppy.

Oh but wait, puppies are THE BEST!! I WANT ONE! Maybe this one:

(*Food Lady goes all melty*).

Someone said “not enough Piper plz” recently. Piper had dental surgery today so she ain’t feeling her best, but here she is.

She also lost the Wootie Toy Battle :(

Now remember, Wootie likes to watch …

… but he also likes to DO. Specifically, he likes to “do” pug-chis.

NAUGHTY WOOTIE!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Donut, Koa, mad teeth, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Peeps, Piper, Tweed

It’s My Party

May 6, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

and I’ll look goofy if I want to!

Today a miraculous thing happened.

Tweed turned NINE YEARS OLD. 9!!! ZOMG!

And I he did it without me throttling his evil little red neck too. At least, not fatally.

Australian Shepherd people tell me that it takes 3 years for an Aussie to grow a brain, and 3 more for them to figure out how to use it. “And add a couple more years if they’re boy Aussies!” they squeak cheerfully. Oh brother. I thought the border collie half of his brain would have kicked in sooner, but I was wrong.

Just a little less than 9 years ago, a rescuer in Washington State sent me this photo:

Gadzooks! I was smitten. I had The Puppy Fever (and look what happened! Now you know why I don’t indulge in the puppy lust anymore).

But he sure was cute. He wuved his big brother Briggs.
And I had the handsomest pair o’ red collies this side of the Rockies.

Of course, Tweed is evil. For many years he has defied me, tormented me, sassed me, embarrassed me and generally made me pull out my hair on too many occasions to count. My friend Elisha commented on a photo of him recently, where he was cocking his head in typical Tweed style and said “he’s waiting for you to tell him what to do, so he can do the opposite!”

My friends know him so well.

But I wouldn’t trade him for the world. He is hilarious, ridiculous, willful, defiant, keen, scary-smart and a character like no other.

So to celebrate, I threw him a party. Complete with a cake made of ostriches. AND I PUT THE GODDAMN MR. PICKLES NEVERENDING PEEPS TO GOOD USE TOO!!!

This cake was made by the FeelGood Treat Company and cost me twenty motherflippin’ dollars at Tisol. Usually I get a personalized cake from ThreeDogBakery. I think next time I’ll go back to them, because their cakes are better. For starters – no chisel required to slice the thing, and I never have a pile of ostrich confetti in a ziploc bag after it thaws.

But the dogs did not complain.

NOM NOM NOM

Even though we made them wear a goofy hat before we gave them the cake.

This is not happening. This is not happening. HAPPYPLACEHAPPYPLACE!

Even Sofa* got into the spirit of the party, with a little help from his dad.
*Sofa? YES! Because this big gangly puppy is everywhere, usually crashing into the back of my knees as he gambols around the office, and I end up sitting on him about 7 times an afternoon. And accidentally riding him around the office. So we have renamed him Sofa – a big, squishy, drooling fast moving Sofa.

But what kind of dog owner would I be if I didn’t torment my dogs with the cake first, for your enjoyment?

But pshaw. I do this every year. Time to shake it up a little.

Cue two more dogs to torment.
Tweed got a little anxious about the competition for the cake. Piper refused to believe I had the balls to do this. Sofa didn’t even understand why he was supposed to be there.

Yeah, it was good times.

BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

It’s not a real party until you bust out the whipped cream in a can!

hee hee!

I cannot believe my good fortune!

Turbo was having none of the hissy can of edible oil goodness, but he politely slurped some off Auntie Food Lady’s sticky fingers.

As for Sofa … oh the life of a puppy. This was Sofa’s first experience with whipped cream.

You want me to what?

Oh I get it! I get it!!

Epitome of a good party:

Yay! I like to rock the party!

Happy 9th birthday to my Special Little Guy!!

Here’s to 9 more great years! If I last that long.

For his birthday this year I am taking Tweed to the AAC Regionals in Campbell River on the May long weekend. Wish us luck!!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: agility, birthday, dogs in hats, Koa, Mr. Pickles, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

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