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Parker and Harriet

Tweed and Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers

August 25, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Except it was just Tweed, not Piper, and it was blackberries, not peppers.

This afternoon we took a trip out to Dog Heaven in Ladner to walk the poocheroonis. The weather started out kind of sour, but soon turned quite lovely. DH is gorgeous at this time of year.

It was also the land of plenty. We came home overflowing with juicy and tiny little plums:

And loads of the sweet purpley goodness that are blackberries:

Like the world’s most awesome, and totally free, farmer’s market. They even had frogs available.

How cool is that? And, umm, what kind of frog is that? All I know is that as I asked Auntie Jackie “think it’s poisonous?” I was already reaching for it. My sense of danger is smarter than my brain-body connection, apparently.

But anyway, back to the blackberries, the inspiration for today’s title.

Today I watched Tweed work something out in his little pee brain: he watched us pick blackberries and put them in our little buckets. He watched the other dogs get fed blackberries from the little buckets. A lightbulb turned over his fuzzy head.

Hmmmm …. I haz an idea ….

He then decided to bypass the middleman (ie, the buckets) and help himself to blackberries right off the plant.

Nom.

Now I know lots of dogs eat plants out of the garden and whatnot, and even Woo has helped himself to blackberries from time to time. What was interesting to me was watching Tweed’s brain work out the connection between the purple yumyums in the bucket and the source – he glanced from me to the bucket a few times, then from the bucket to the plant, then he left the crowd o’canines jostling at my feet and headed straight for the blackberries on the vine and started chowing down. That’s deductive reasoning!

Previous to this, the blackberry bushes were just annoyances that tried to grab his wiener when he lifted his leg for a whiz.

Yay! I am so smart!

Me too! Wait, what?

Dog Heaven is a great place to walk the dogs, but it’s a pretty far drive just to canoodle with the canines. Don’t you wonder what we were doing way out there?

The berry bushes are that way, guys.
Why are you walking away from them?

Well, I woke up this morning and decided that more than anything in the world, I needed some Peanuts. In fact, I was absolutely determined to lay my eyes on 8 peanuts before noon.

Lucky for me, Tess the TDBCR foster dog, had 8 peanuts to share!

Meet Lucy, Sally, Patty, Linus, Charlie, Spike, Schroeder and Franklin!

ZOMG!

Tess had her puppies this past Sunday – 3 females, 5 males, all perfect and wonderful little tri colours.

She is being a great mum – a little confused and stressed, but mostly doing wonderfully.

What happened here? As doG as my witness, I will never have sex again!

Well that’s true. Tess is going to be spayed once her pups are weaned, and then she’ll want a home of her own too.

In the meantime, she is working hard at keeping her little Peanuts safe.

Enough photos. Take facebox and vamonos plz.

I’m rather partial to this little gentleman, Linus:

But they are ALL lovely!

The other 4 boys:

And the little ladies:

I WANT ONE!

You might too – but please, we are not accepting applications for the puppies yet. It will be several more weeks before they are old enough for us to start finding them homes. Also, I need time to find a new home for me so I can have first pick ;-) *sigh* If only that were true.

So. Much. Want.

Oh hai! Don’t mind me, I’m just passing through this entry …

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: foster puppies, Parker and Harriet, Tweed, wildlife

Hey Wootie …

August 3, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

What?

I’m gonna throw your Wootie Toy!

AlllllRIGHT!!!!

Gogogogogogogogogogogo!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!11

And then he flew off into the sunset.

ha ha. Just kidding. I was fooling around in CS2 today. However, that really is HOW Wootie jumps. It’s ridiculous.

Come one. Srsly? WTF?

Now you know why I don’t have an agility Woo. He lacks Tweed’s svelte grace (background also photshopped).

And Piper’s determination….

… even when her timing is a tad off. I have no idea what she is jumping off of in this photo! It sure isn’t the dock!

Courage comes in small packages…

This is not one of them.

Yep, that’s right, ANOTHER one of my friends HURLED her dog into the lake with the force of a thousand jet engines and the glee of a demon maddened by lust and the blood of 400 virgins! And goats!

Save me, jebus. I want to live!!!

Okay, so Harry is not so brave. She has jumped in on occasion on her own steam, but not too frequently, though she does love to swim!

This dog though, was very cool. This is Nancy.
(more fun in photoshop!)

Nancy likes to dock dive quite a lot.


Did you notice what is so amazing about Dock Divin’ Nancy Pibble?

Look ma! No front leg!

Let’s recap, shall we? Three legged Nancy can toss herself off a dock.

Four legged Harriet can’t navigate a submerged log.

Help?

I’d still really like my ball ….

Hmmmm …. Sorry. Can’t help you, squirt.


And then there’s Parker, who has the leaping mechanism, but not the swimming one.

If she COULD swim, she could probably leap clear to the other side of the lake with that stride!

But only once. Greyhounds lack stamina.

Stop playing with Parker. Throw the ball.

Thanks!! See ya later!!
XOXO
, GossipTweed.

Oh hai! I’m gonna get all up in your bizness like dat!

A shot of The Mighty Flamboyance for the road …

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: big air, dock diving, dog beach, Mr. Woo, Parker and Harriet, Piper, Tweed

The roof, the roof,

July 30, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

the roof is on fire.

Because my neighborhood was not hot enough, a school a few blocks away had to catch on BLAZING fire this morning in the middle of this heatwave and cook us a little bit more. Of course, it was a nice distraction from lying on top of all my bed covers, not sleeping, just sweating, listening to three very hot dogs pant in harmony.

Whew.

Food Lady. Oh Food Lady. It’s really stinkin’ hot in this condo.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS?

I suppose … we could go swimming? What do you think?

I think … WAHOO-FREAKIN’-HOO!!

Are we yelling about something? OK THEN! I WANT TO GO SWIMMING ALSO!

Oh wait … swimming means going IN this river-lake-thing? Hrmm.

(*ponders*)

Less pondering, more swimming. Kthx.


Ah, Eff it. He’s right!

WAHOO!!!!

Ohhhhh, yeahhhh
(cue porn themed music and slo-mo sexy hair shake)

One would think that by virtue of its sheer mass and velocity, The Flamboyance ™ would be sufficient to keep entire nations cool while in motion. I mean, look at the thing!!


But even The Flamboyance ™ is no match for this heat wave. It needs to periodically recharge, in a bed of flowers and on a diet of small logs.

Sing with me folks (to the tune of Little Rabbit Fru Fru):

Little collie Piper Bounding through the water,

Resting on a fallen log,

And repeating the process again!

I’M STILL YELLING! GIVE ME MY BALL!!!

I SAID I WANT MY DAMN BA- oh, oops. Thanks!

Ain’t life grand?

It’s a scorcher out there kids! Remember to keep your pets cool. And if you figure out how to do that, could you let us know? We’re all roasting in here!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Mr. Woo, Parker and Harriet, Piper, Tweed

Rinky dink dink

July 17, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Two kittehs in a sink!

tee hee hee.

The news cats and the old guard (AKA Nutz) are still unimpressed with one another. And yet, they are united in their distaste for their living-sharing.

Behold – Donutz is pissed off.

So is the kitten. Except she looks exactly like Donutz.
Hmmm.

While I had hoped that one of these little cutiepatooties would be a partner in crime to Her Majesty, it looks like Donutz prefers to fly solo. So these little devil kittens are looking for homes of their very own.

Yes please, find them new homes. They make me so darn tired.

What are you talkin’ about?

I totally never unraveled your toilet paper! I never did!

Yes she did.

Now get that camera out of my face. I’m trying to figure out how I can replicate myself.

Speaking of replicants … The Sofa is one step ahead of kitten on that one. He replicated himself at the beach today.

Eerie, no?

It’s kind of to be expected though. I mean, there’s a lot of things to get accomplished in a day when you are The Sofa, and there needs to be more than one of you if you want to get it all done.

So many puppies to NOM NOM NOM

NOM!

Dee-lish!

Also, if you are The Sofa, you must steal Harriet’s ball at least 8 / 10 times it’s thrown in the water.

Too far I think.

Agh! Agh! Definitely too far!!

That sucked!

STOP STEALING MY BALL, A$$HOLE!!
(tiny dog. BIG voice)

I’ll take that, thankyouverymuch.

The Sofa seems to have settled down and is back to his friendly, playful beach self. He can even share toys, as long as they are not HIS toys. Seems he is over his snit.

Tweed however, was in a snit because Fergus was not sharing.

Damn it, Fergus.

The Biggest Snitty Of Them All was Rogue, aka The Scorpion.

She did not want to swim.

No! DO NOT WANT!

NO NO NO NO!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!1

When she paddled back to shore, she took out her bad mood on some random passing terrier. Poor little thing didn’t know what hit ‘im.

I’m just glad it wasn’t me!

Yo, She is lucky it wasn’t ME.

As for Woo, well … there is no dock at Spanish Banks.

But Woo can get air anywhere.

So here’s a question for you … does your breed of dog recognize or behave differently around other dogs of the same breed?

Today Sofa met two dobermans. One of them (his doppelganger) totally ignored him. The other one beat the living snot out of him. I thought maybe they would bond or something.

My border collies recognize other border collies and relax around them. They don’t mind other border collies joining them in their reindeer games, and if they see them from a distance they wag their tails. They are not particularly interactive with other border collies – or any dogs at all, actually – but they do seem to enjoy their company. Other dogs are not worthy of their attention at all, and sometimes are snapped at if they are too pushy. But it’s really obvious that they recognize their own “kind” – Tweed even recognizes border collies on television, though he otherwise totally disregards television.

Is this true of your breed as well?

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: big air, dog beach, kittens, Koa, Mr. Woo, Parker and Harriet, Piper, Tweed

Yo, Wassup Peeps?!

April 13, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

I know we have been MIA for the last couple of weeks. The Food Lady has been busy rescuing border collies … so many border collies. Big or little, one or seven, The Food Lady can and will cram them into her truck and drive them all over Hell’s half acre to keep them safe. Now we have quite a selection of lovely dogs! If you are interested in keeping up with intakes, check out That’ll Do Border Collie Rescue’s page on Facebook.

With the help of the ever wonderful Mike and Marion, as well as the District of North Vancouver Animal Shelter, we got 7 border collies to safety after they (and 23 of their relatives) were seized from a gentleman who was inclined to collect the little darlings in his house. The nice thing about these guys is that despite all they’ve been through, they really like people and want to belong to someone. Once they have been cleansed of the little critters and relieved of their reproductive organs Sky, Lady, Alex and Maria will be ready for forever homes of their own.

You can also go the District of North Van shelter to meet Orbit, Malcom and Stubby.

We have also been bidding adieu to Auntie Jackie, who is returning to China this week for an extended period, so we’ve been hanging out with Parker and Harriet whenever possible.

Bye bye.

SHE SAID BYE BYE!!! Shoo, camera lady.

Public Healthy Warning:

Tempus the borderjack

The Face of An Angel
The Personality of Satan

Anyway, I have been so busy there has been no time for blogging. That, however, was forced to change recently. You see, on Saturday my co-worker Mr. Pickles gifted (???) me with what can only be described as a truly unreasonable number of boxes of Peeps ™. If you have been looking for Peeps ™, and cannot find any, it’s because THEY ARE ALL IN MY HOUSE.

You are familiar with Peeps ™, yes? They are completely disgusting marshmallow ducks dipped in sugar. I can’t even say the word out loud, because one of my teeth falls out every time I do. I have been pondering the significance of this gift and have decided that there can only be one explanation – Mr. Pickles is trying to kill me, so he can run away with Mr. Woo.

These Peeps(tm) are very entertaining photo props.

Though Piper would disagree.

Peep Army

Peep Humiliation causes …

…Peep Depression

The King of Peeps

on the advice of his closest adviser

sacrifices a member of his own troops.

Oddly (because what other kind of pet would I have, rather than an odd one)

The cat thinks Peeps are DE-LISH

Please don’t be jealous. I know you all wish you too were single, had more dogs than sense, and a NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF F*CKING PEEPS with which to amuse yourself on long weekends.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Donut, Mr. Woo, Parker and Harriet, Peeps, Piper, Tweed

If Gandalf Humped A Mop*

March 22, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

The result would be Wootie’s new boyfriend.
Work your magic on me baby

Oh you made me levitate! Good work, GandalfMop!

Now he has the courage to take on Mad Teeth(tm)!

Except … they ARE rather frightening

It may be time to retreat

Even scarier than the Original Mad Teeth(tm) are the miniature version.

Mostly because they bite. They especially bite their large, fuzzier doppelganger.

Do not chase me.

I WILL rip your beard off, doppelganger!

NINJA MINI MAD TEETH CAN LIFT 6 TIMES HER OWN WEIGHT!

You have to feel sort of sorry for wee Harriet, because *everyone* chases her. Everyone big, that is.

But no worries! Parker The Super Greyhound is rushing to her little sister’s rescue!

I (and my FABULOUS ass) am coming, Harry!

The rescue was going well, until … Parker met her nemisis (cue ominous music).

It was … AVIS.

Oh sure, she looks cute and innocent right? But Avis, as her mum says, maintains a “B(itch) Plus Average.” She kicked the hell out of poor Parker.

Parker tried to run her out of town

But only one emerged victorious

In fact, the only dogperson Avis did not try to take on was Jenn. Because Jenn is scary.

Just ask Tweed.

I am coming for you Tweed. You will not know when, you will not know how … but I WILL annihilate you

Run away! Run away!

The Matriarch, Luna, observed the others with weary disdain.

Oh foolish youth.

It’s such hard work, being so awesome and wise. Also, it was pretty windy.

Mr. Woo soon grew tired (don’t ask me how, it’s not as though he actually did anything resembling exercise today) and was dreaming …

… about how he could get his own fluffy Aussie cloud flotation device

Pretty soon Parker was down for the count too. She took a break … as did Robyn. Weird.

The border collies, however, took no prisoners.

Well, except Jackie and her Chuck-It.

THROW IT!THROW IT!THROW IT!THROW IT!THROW IT!

Until it was time to go…East. Parker said we should go East.


The best part about today’s outing … 3 totally zonked out, sandy, too-tired-to-move dogs! ZOMG! They only woke up long enough to eat dinner, and they are all asleep again.

*today’s title brought to you by Robyn, Jenn and Luna’s mum!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Jenn and Luna, mad teeth, Mr. Woo, Parker and Harriet, Piper, Tweed

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