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Jenn and Luna

Hey, Cool! Check It Out!

February 1, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

It’s snowing. AGAIN.

*headdesk, headdesk, headdesk*

How is this even possible?! Even worse, I have undeniable proof that Mother Nature hates me, and only me: I drove to the pet supply store 20 blocks North of me – no snow. The grocery store 15 blocks South of me – no snow! Meanwhile, back at the ranch …. snowsnowsnowsnowsnow and then it snowed summore.

But the dogs still gotta run. So we went to Monkey Tree Park. The first dogs we saw?

Border collies.

This was Daisy

And this was her Brother, Nike (thanks for the info, anon!)
Daisy stole Mr. Woo’s (irregularly sized) Buddy Ball
And then played keep-away with her brother

But Woo did not care. He was too busy looking for Spring.

I’m sure I just saw it somewhere. Maybe it’s down here.

Get lost, Rudy. If I find it, it’s mine, and I’m not sharing.

I said f&*k off! It’s mine!

Can’t really blame Noodles for his foul mood and confusion though!

TODAY:

YESTERDAY:

Why hello there, pretty Spring day. Why don’t you come up and see me some time?

Yesterday was gorgeous, sunny and almost kinda warm.

If you had told Luna that it was going to snow the next day, she would’ve taken this big stick and given your ass a beat down!

But Luna is dope-ass crazy. Word.

Jenn would have been !!SHOCKED!!

And Piper would have been angry.

And Tweed would’ve been … well, he probably wouldn’t have been listening, actually. He’s vain and would be checking out his own reflection in a tidepool.

I wouldn’t have believed it either.

Sarah over at Food For Founder is fostering one helluva fella called Pepper. He is a 9ish year old border collie with a serious fetch obsession. And he is bee-yoo-ti-ful!

We need more Sarahs! So if you are a border collie owner in the Vancouver area, think about fostering for TDBCR! We need experienced herding dog owners (or owners of other active dogs) who can open their homes to a wayward collie in need of a place to stay. We cover all the veterinary costs, and do most of the work when it’s time to adopt your houseguest to a new home.

Want to learn more? Visit our website, and drop us a line. We’ll send you a fostering application form.

If you don’t, our dogs are going to hurl themselves into the ocean one after another in despair.

No pressure.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Jenn and Luna, Mr. Woo, Piper, snow, Tweed

Smoking is bad for you

January 25, 2009 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

And it’s not just cigarettes. Pipes are bad for you too.

Though one may look dashing with a pipe …

smoking kills.

And at first your friends and family will be sad about your demise

But eventually they will go on with their lives

And forget you ever existed.

Woo? Woo who?

So take up a different hobby. Maybe a sport.

This has been a public service message from The World’s Bossiest Dog.

Who has feet, but no visible legs.

—————-

Strangely enough, I did not win the lottery last night. That’s weird.

It’s also too bad, because late this week I heard from my landlord who wants to sell my condo.

ARGH! I just moved in like 3 days ago or whatever!

He’s offered to sell it to me, but banks do not generally like to give mortgages to women with more dogs than sense. Or cents, if you’ll pardon the pun. And you have to, because this is my blog.

I figure I have three options:

1) Kill my landlord, find his will and alter it to suggest he’s left the condo to me. But this one sounds like a lot of work.

2) Move. Again.

3) Go to the Bank Of Mummy And Daddy.

How come my photography does not make me rich?!

It is, however, making me moderately famous. A little birdie tells me that TWAAW will soon make an appearance on the most excellent and informative blog Behind The Behaviour from the wise folks at Companion Animal Solutions. And even if it does not, the blog is a great site with loads of really good insight into the canine bean. You should check it out!

It’s really neat to see what sort of photos tickle your fancy. Keep up the good work with your photo contest entry suggestions!

Captain Ice Beard commands you.
1018

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Jenn and Luna, Mr. Woo, Piper, snow, Tweed

If the Mountain won’t come to Mohammad

December 13, 2008 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Then Mohammad is going to load two people and five dogs into a mini van and visit the damn Mountain.

Cypress Mountain I mean.

Last week’s snowfall was a bait-n-switch. For two hours big happy flakes drifted slowly to earth and blanketed everything in a Christmasy fashion. I got up to use the washroom and when I came pack it was pouring rain and all the snow was gone. WTF?

Well, that’s just not good enough. Dammit, my dogs wanted winter snowtimez, and by doG, they were going to get it. So we went and found some.

Loads of it.

The folks at Cypress could not be nicer, even though it was opening day and the mountain was packed. They gave us back country passes and a map, and sent us out to let our dogs enjoy the trails. We felt really sorry for all the dogs we passed in the parking lot that were stuck in cars whilst their people skied. Poor woofs.

WARNING!!!

This is your dog:

And this is your dog on snow:

RAAWWR!!

Captain Ice Beard wants to give you smoocheroonis.

The dogs were soooo happy!

Yay! I’m king of the snowtimez!

Think again, Ice Balls!
(and Tweed goes down)

Ha ha! Eat my snow!

And then Tweed got stuck.

Umm … a little help here?

hahahahaha!

Oh yeah. Real funny. Hi-larious.

I’ll just add this to the list of Reasons Food Lady Must Die, shall I?

Abominable Snow Jenn!

Oh look! Family portrait:

Okay, not really, cuz that’s Jenn, not Piper. But whatever – they are both small, they both have enormous ears, and they are both more evil than the devil himself.

How dare you. I am *nothing* like that Jenn bitch!

Oh, umm, really?

You’re probably wondering where all the Wootie photos are. Well, he kindly posed for a picture or two …

And then he took off, and we didn’t see him again for like an hour. Mr. Woo follows the beat of a different drummer. Too bad that drummer is not smart enough to walk on the trail instead of swimming through deep drifts.

Robyn wants my job. And if it means sitting in the snow … well, she can have it! Brrr!

I have to say, I really love SnowFaces. They crack me up!

Especially SnowFaceTweed:

And SnowFaceJenny is just hella cute.

Ok. A REAL family portrait of two extremely happy woofs and an ecstatic Woo!

And today’s photo WIN goes to Jenny, who’s all Why you pointin’ that box in my face, bizzatch?

So at long last, the dogs got their WinterSnowTimez. There was some whining on the way back to the car – worse than kids!! “My feet are cold and have snow in them; the ice balls on my stomach are touching my weiner; I can’t feel my toes.” (oh wait, that last one was Robyn) but now they are all fast asleep under my chair.

It’s funny, because today I was looking at this:

And this time next week I’ll be looking at this!

So if I do not get a chance to post again, Merry Christmas, dear readers. I hope Santa is as good to you as he’s going to be to me!

Many blessings on all your houses :)

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Cypress, Jenn and Luna, Mr. Woo, Piper, snow, Tweed

Gorillas in the mist (?)

October 14, 2008 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Leapin’ logs! That’s not a gorilla, it’s Tweed!

On the weekend we drove out to MacDonald Beach and met up with Jen and Lu.

“No you didn’t. You never saw me, I was hiding. I am a highly skilled operative. Go away.”

But today, as promised, we went to Hole Digging Park to play some Fifa (tm)


Piper got carded for illegal moves. Please note those are her BACK legs you see there in front of her.

“Do you want me to beat her? With a big stick? Plz?”

“What? I didn’t do nuthin'”

As for Mr. Woo … Mr. Woo eats things he should not eat, which he finds in the park.

“Oh hai! I ate some stuff!”

And then he vomits.

“Ugh. Hai. I don’t feel so awesome.”

It looks something like this:
(best viewed large – he has some wicked tongue moves)

Tweed rejects this post.

In other news, I am employed again! Everyone say “phew.” Now I don’t have to sell Tweed!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dog beach, Fifa, Jenn and Luna, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

Is there nothing Woo won’t eat?

April 27, 2008 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

… and other random photos from the last week.
Tweed and Woo scrapping over the Wootie Toy.

*KAPOW!*

Oh here’s a good one – a sighting of the very rare West Coast Tree Monster

Like Big Foot, this is not often photographed:

Also, Jenn’s second job is as a cleaning brush for the many Sigg ™ water bottles of Kitsilano yuppies:

Here’s something you don’t see too often. Piper and Jenn sitting close together/ in the vicinity of one another. These two ladies Do Not Get Along. They are much too alike.

Okay, here’s what Woo ate today. Don’t hate me, or him.
Bunny? Chipmunk? I dunno. I tried to save it; tackled Woo and pried this out of his mouth, but it was too late and it gasped its last in my hands. Woo is VERY BAD and also, very hungry.

This doesn’t look like the face of a stone cold killer, does it?
He’s so not getting any dinner tonight. Unless dewormer counts as dinner.

When Donut heard the news, she was really upset. She really wanted to eat that thing.
Here’s something we haven’t seen in a while: MAD TEETH ™

And I include this photo because it makes Tweed appear handsome. The 20D loves Tweed.

At least someone does.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Donut, Jenn and Luna, meat, Mr. Woo, Piper, Tweed

Thanks for Stealing The Wootie Toy

March 23, 2008 By The Food Lady Leave a Comment

Whoever stole the Wootie toy (purple disc) from my pile of stuff on the beach at Spanish Banks on Friday while I was taking a photo – thanks ever so much, you jerk! Seriously – who steals someone’s frisbee? That’s pathetic.
————

I know many of you blog readers are local, as I run into you from time to time and you greet my dogs by name, or offer your condolences on Briggs’ passing. It’s always a little weird, btw, but pretty gratifying as well.

Anyway, those of you who walk your dogs at Bridgeman can maybe tell me what this is?

It looks to be an altar, and we found it down one of the paths leading to the river. It’s very touching, but we can’t figure out what it’s for. The monetary offerings in the statue’s pool suggest it’s an offering, the little dog statues suggest it’s a tribute to a beloved dog. If you know what it is we were looking at, post a comment and let me know.

I’m insatiably curious.

Jenn says “Who gives a shit about some nickels in the moss? THROW SOMETHING THROW SOMETHING THROW SOMETHING THROW SOMETHING!”

Tweed is intrigued by what might be thrown for Jenn. Piper is intrigued by the possibility of biting Tweed. It’s a funny picture because Tweed has *no* idea Piper is stalking him.

Meanwhile, Dusty contemplates Life With The Food Lady and muses on why no one has adopted him yet. Yes, the mystery is still unsolved. Poor Dusty :(

And Wootie is just enjoying some down time. As Dusty matures, he sometimes leaves Woo alone for minutes at a time. It’s very relaxing in the house now, for 360 to 480 second increments.

But outside, the 5 step Wootie Elimination process resumes:

Step One: Stalk Target At Sea

Step Two: Target eludes capture by narrow margins

Step Three: Target makes a break for land. Pursue!

Step Four: Attempt to take target down

Step Five: Target fights for his life

This is usually about the point where I yell at Dusty to leave Woo alone, because if I don’t step in and stop them, a) the bark screaming is deafening and b) Wootie usually ends up like this.

(At times like that, I bet Woo wishes he was as BIG as the Giant UnWootie who shows up at the beach from time to time.)

Then Dusty pouts.

———————–

So if you glance over to your right, you’ll see along the side of the page links to sites and blogs that I like to peruse in my spare time and hope that you might like as well. I try to add new links often. I do hope, however, you are reading the tales of my BFF Finn who has moved to Nicaragua to work full time at an underfunded, understaffed and overwhelmed clinic for street dogs and strays there.

The clinic is called Casa Lupita – it is run by a single woman with help from two peace corp folks and Finn. There is no staff veterinarian, so they do what they can with luck, skill, patience and some scotch tape. The dogs there are undervalued and in a bad way.
Finn writes me and says: “There’s a street in Managua called Puppy Street – I’ve never seen it but people keep telling me about it. Just rows and rows of cages where you pick out your puppy. Street vending puppies. Not for food, just for pets but it’s supposed to be horrific. I told Donna I wanted to go take pics but all I could take would be snapshots.

“Another woman got her dog from a puppy pen on the road between Masaya and Granada. Never seen it but apparently it’s just this big pen with all these puppies in it by the side of the road and you pull over, pick one out, pay for it and go. And these are the owned, loved dogs.”

Eep. Dusty should be feeling pretty lucky right about now. It could be a lot worse than being fostered with the Food Lady for two months.

I thought about ways I could help Casa Lupita, and I asked if it would help if I visited them for a week, helped them out, maybe took some photos they could use – for calendars, or PR or what have you. The answer was a resounding “yes.” And that would be great … if I could actually afford to go to Nicaragua.

So here’s how you can help me help Casa Lupita; if you are in the Greater Vancouver area, contact me to book a photo shoot for your dog. Five shoots pays for my plane ticket to Granada. Double that number and I’ll be able to afford the time off work – I work for an NPO on contract, so when I don’t work, I don’t get paid.

If you don’t live in the Greater Vancouver area but would like to help, send money via paypal





Anything I received beyond my costs to get there I will give directly to Casa Lupita so they can buy supplies for their clinic. I know they can use the money.


Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Bridgeman, dog beach, Dusty, Jenn and Luna, Mr. Woo, Nicaragua, Piper, Tweed

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